Should I text a girl who ghosted me

So 1 year ago I was dating this girl from Tokyo for a few months unofficially, I really liked her a lot and I wanted to be official with her but I messed up with an awkward situation.

When we went to sleep together for the first time, I couldn’t “get it up” as I was nervous. Truthfully I could have handled it better and just owned it, but I got embarrassed and then things got really awkward. After that she left my place and didn’t reply to my texts again, I sent her a bunch of messages for weeks but I got ghosted.

Anyway 1 year later today, my company I work for my graduate role is being acquired by a company in Tokyo, complete random coincidence which means we will all be flying out to Tokyo once the deal closes (it can take a year to complete the deal).

Do you think I could message her again one more time like:

“hey I know we haven’t spoken for a while but I just thought if you as my company is being bought by a Japanese company so we’re going to go Tokyo! It would be cool to catch up over a coffee and maybe you can give me some tips for my travels?”

Or should I just move on and delete her number / not message her again

Reply 1

Dunnig Kruger

Send her a message. Aim to make it a good one.
Maybe something like.

"Hey, the strangest thing's just happened. I was thinking about you other day, with my mind drifting towards what your life in Tokyo (or whatever her home city is) is like these days. And then the next morning at work it was announced that our company is going to be taken over by (name the Japanese company). How weird is that?"

(edited 5 months ago)

Reply 2

SilverFish111

Hey!
I think that the message is a great idea.
Remember the girl was probably also nervous to be in bed with you that night and she may have just got "icked" when you got nervous. She may have just wanted for someone to comfort her instead.
In your message you could try and be more confident and act like you have forgotten what happened last year. Be the version of yourself where you are confident.
A thought: "Hey! I know we haven't spoken for a while but my company is being bought by a Japanese company so we’re going to go Tokyo! This just made me think about you after such a long time and I think we should catch up sometime, over some coffee would be great. Look forward to seeing you!"
If she airs you again you will have to just move on. In the message above it makes her seem like a side thing and you are mainly in Japan for work. This could encourage her to speak to you, and possibly from there you can revive the relationship. Just be the CONFIDENT version of yourself, everyone has it in them.
Hope this helps!

(edited 5 months ago)

Reply 3

SilverFish111

Original post by Dunnig Kruger

Send her a message. Aim to make it a good one.
Maybe something like.
"Hey, the strangest thing's just happened. I was thinking about you other day, with my mind drifting towards what your life in Tokyo (or whatever her home city is) is like these days. And then the next morning at work it was announced that our company is going to be taken over by (name the Japanese company). How weird is that?"

Also a good idea

Reply 4

harryg135

Original post by Anonymous

So 1 year ago I was dating this girl from Tokyo for a few months unofficially, I really liked her a lot and I wanted to be official with her but I messed up with an awkward situation.
When we went to sleep together for the first time, I couldn’t “get it up” as I was nervous. Truthfully I could have handled it better and just owned it, but I got embarrassed and then things got really awkward. After that she left my place and didn’t reply to my texts again, I sent her a bunch of messages for weeks but I got ghosted.
Anyway 1 year later today, my company I work for my graduate role is being acquired by a company in Tokyo, complete random coincidence which means we will all be flying out to Tokyo once the deal closes (it can take a year to complete the deal).
Do you think I could message her again one more time like:
“hey I know we haven’t spoken for a while but I just thought if you as my company is being bought by a Japanese company so we’re going to go Tokyo! It would be cool to catch up over a coffee and maybe you can give me some tips for my travels?”
Or should I just move on and delete her number / not message her again

I'm not sure tbh. Personally if I were ghosted then I'd move on and not respond at all. But the merger of your employers business is perhaps something to talk about, so maybe it's worth bringing up a discussion about that. But don't expect it to lead onto anything other than talk about that business. Go in with an open mind.

Reply 5

Anonymous #2

Original post by harryg135

That's a good idea, she might have moved on....

Reply 6

Zarek

If she’s ignored a bunch of messages I think it’s unlikely she’ll reply. More than likely she’s moved on and in the longer term it’s much better for your self esteem if you refuse this temptation. Plenty more fish and all that..
This said it’s probably an itch that’s tempting to scratch and your message seems fine if you want to give it another try