Losing VCARD
Hey everyone,
So there is a guy I have been dating for two months - we will call him M for short.
So I really like this guy right and it’s clear that he likes me back same way and same intensity. We get on like a house on fire and the initial spark is right there. The spark that everyone complains about never having in dating. I had it with him unexpectedly. He’s so manly, is polite and gentle and caring and smells heavenly. He is respectful and funny and charming. We haven’t spoken about what we are looking for - more so going along with the flow. But if you asked me to predict, I know it would lead to a relationship.
But I have a problem. So I am a virgin, and I never considered nor cared about wanting to have ‘IT’. I thought if I met the right guy, I’d feel like this and marry them and then lose my vcard. The right way. I am also Muslim. I am quite religious in a way that’s for my self belief, I don’t boast about it but I am religious for my integrity, if that makes sense. Like I don’t make my religion my personality and I’m not that person that is strict on what’s right or wrong. But my V is big for me. It would still be big even if I wasn’t religious. Because I take care of myself in a way where I want to be respected when it comes to that. But with M, everything feels right. Like my rules just let their guard down and I want to lose it to him. He knows I am a V, but he’s respectful about it. However, if we are dating, there does need to be some sort of action of that going on. To relieve that desire that we have for one another. I can’t keep it from someone I’d be dating. But I want to have it but I’m worried about my beliefs.
I’m not ready to get married also, as I’m quite young. I just want things to be easy and go with the flow.
The reason why I’m questioning is because our next ‘date’ is basically going away for the weekend to another city and for me to potentially lose my V with him. I mean if I really want this guy I can’t keep it from him. If I think about ending things because of it then it really breaks my heart
What should I do??
I need advice!!
So there is a guy I have been dating for two months - we will call him M for short.
So I really like this guy right and it’s clear that he likes me back same way and same intensity. We get on like a house on fire and the initial spark is right there. The spark that everyone complains about never having in dating. I had it with him unexpectedly. He’s so manly, is polite and gentle and caring and smells heavenly. He is respectful and funny and charming. We haven’t spoken about what we are looking for - more so going along with the flow. But if you asked me to predict, I know it would lead to a relationship.
But I have a problem. So I am a virgin, and I never considered nor cared about wanting to have ‘IT’. I thought if I met the right guy, I’d feel like this and marry them and then lose my vcard. The right way. I am also Muslim. I am quite religious in a way that’s for my self belief, I don’t boast about it but I am religious for my integrity, if that makes sense. Like I don’t make my religion my personality and I’m not that person that is strict on what’s right or wrong. But my V is big for me. It would still be big even if I wasn’t religious. Because I take care of myself in a way where I want to be respected when it comes to that. But with M, everything feels right. Like my rules just let their guard down and I want to lose it to him. He knows I am a V, but he’s respectful about it. However, if we are dating, there does need to be some sort of action of that going on. To relieve that desire that we have for one another. I can’t keep it from someone I’d be dating. But I want to have it but I’m worried about my beliefs.
I’m not ready to get married also, as I’m quite young. I just want things to be easy and go with the flow.
The reason why I’m questioning is because our next ‘date’ is basically going away for the weekend to another city and for me to potentially lose my V with him. I mean if I really want this guy I can’t keep it from him. If I think about ending things because of it then it really breaks my heart
What should I do??
I need advice!!
Reply 1
stay virgin and be patient ,everything may not always go in the way u want but keep the realtionship the same ofc ,but the patience is what you need in order to not give in because of your islamic beliefs ,etc
Reply 2
Original post
by MoonlightStarHey everyone,
So there is a guy I have been dating for two months - we will call him M for short.
So I really like this guy right and it’s clear that he likes me back same way and same intensity. We get on like a house on fire and the initial spark is right there. The spark that everyone complains about never having in dating. I had it with him unexpectedly. He’s so manly, is polite and gentle and caring and smells heavenly. He is respectful and funny and charming. We haven’t spoken about what we are looking for - more so going along with the flow. But if you asked me to predict, I know it would lead to a relationship.
But I have a problem. So I am a virgin, and I never considered nor cared about wanting to have ‘IT’. I thought if I met the right guy, I’d feel like this and marry them and then lose my vcard. The right way. I am also Muslim. I am quite religious in a way that’s for my self belief, I don’t boast about it but I am religious for my integrity, if that makes sense. Like I don’t make my religion my personality and I’m not that person that is strict on what’s right or wrong. But my V is big for me. It would still be big even if I wasn’t religious. Because I take care of myself in a way where I want to be respected when it comes to that. But with M, everything feels right. Like my rules just let their guard down and I want to lose it to him. He knows I am a V, but he’s respectful about it. However, if we are dating, there does need to be some sort of action of that going on. To relieve that desire that we have for one another. I can’t keep it from someone I’d be dating. But I want to have it but I’m worried about my beliefs.
I’m not ready to get married also, as I’m quite young. I just want things to be easy and go with the flow.
The reason why I’m questioning is because our next ‘date’ is basically going away for the weekend to another city and for me to potentially lose my V with him. I mean if I really want this guy I can’t keep it from him. If I think about ending things because of it then it really breaks my heart
What should I do??
I need advice!!
So there is a guy I have been dating for two months - we will call him M for short.
So I really like this guy right and it’s clear that he likes me back same way and same intensity. We get on like a house on fire and the initial spark is right there. The spark that everyone complains about never having in dating. I had it with him unexpectedly. He’s so manly, is polite and gentle and caring and smells heavenly. He is respectful and funny and charming. We haven’t spoken about what we are looking for - more so going along with the flow. But if you asked me to predict, I know it would lead to a relationship.
But I have a problem. So I am a virgin, and I never considered nor cared about wanting to have ‘IT’. I thought if I met the right guy, I’d feel like this and marry them and then lose my vcard. The right way. I am also Muslim. I am quite religious in a way that’s for my self belief, I don’t boast about it but I am religious for my integrity, if that makes sense. Like I don’t make my religion my personality and I’m not that person that is strict on what’s right or wrong. But my V is big for me. It would still be big even if I wasn’t religious. Because I take care of myself in a way where I want to be respected when it comes to that. But with M, everything feels right. Like my rules just let their guard down and I want to lose it to him. He knows I am a V, but he’s respectful about it. However, if we are dating, there does need to be some sort of action of that going on. To relieve that desire that we have for one another. I can’t keep it from someone I’d be dating. But I want to have it but I’m worried about my beliefs.
I’m not ready to get married also, as I’m quite young. I just want things to be easy and go with the flow.
The reason why I’m questioning is because our next ‘date’ is basically going away for the weekend to another city and for me to potentially lose my V with him. I mean if I really want this guy I can’t keep it from him. If I think about ending things because of it then it really breaks my heart
What should I do??
I need advice!!
You can relieve your mutual sexual desires without you losing your virginity.
Reply 3
11
Fear God. Simple.
Reply 4
Original post
by subhan29Fear God. Simple.
Please don’t bother writing if you’re going to write stupid stuff. We all fear god but you probably never had any dating history to know what I’m talking about.
Reply 5
Original post
by ageshallnotYou can relieve your mutual sexual desires without you losing your virginity.
How?
Reply 6
Original post
by MoonlightStarHow?
Sex tips aren't really allowed, but you could Google the use of hands and mouths (and other body parts) during sex.
Reply 7
Go away for the week-end with him to another city.
Do not do any sexual activity. Kissing on the lips and a hug is fine. Anything more than that: do not do it and do not allow him to do.
See how he reacts. See how you get on with him. See how he handles you being assertive about no sex on this trip.
Ideally have some way of secretly recording your bedroom scenes. As a precaution in the event of you getting raped, sexually assaulted, threatened, hit. (I don't know the guy, so I don't know the chances of this happening. But better safe than sorry)
If everything goes OK - IE he behaves well, respects your sexual boundaries, you get on well during the trip - spend more time with him. Aim to make one of your next dates a visit to his parents' home. Observe how he speaks to and interacts with his family. How he speaks to them will be how he speaks to you in 2 years time.
Discuss children with him. How many he wants and when he's planning on having them. Does that match what you want?
After spending 2 or 3 more months with him you should be able to decide whether he really does seem to be the man for you.
If he really does seem right, you can then "marry" him. The form of this marriage could be the traditional way with a ceremony and a certificate. Or it could be a "personal marriage". Where it's just you pledging yourself to him verbally and him pledging himself verbally to you. Your word is your bond. And you should know him well enough by then to be able to take his word as his bond.
With either an "official marriage" or a "personal marriage" there's always the option of divorce if there becomes a good reason for you to divorce. Divorce is your Get Out Of Jail Free card.
At the back of your mind during all this process, should be that you are an attractive and desirable woman and there's an abundance of great men out there. And fairly often, the men that seem the best as you first get to know them, turn out to be the worst.
Do not do any sexual activity. Kissing on the lips and a hug is fine. Anything more than that: do not do it and do not allow him to do.
See how he reacts. See how you get on with him. See how he handles you being assertive about no sex on this trip.
Ideally have some way of secretly recording your bedroom scenes. As a precaution in the event of you getting raped, sexually assaulted, threatened, hit. (I don't know the guy, so I don't know the chances of this happening. But better safe than sorry)
If everything goes OK - IE he behaves well, respects your sexual boundaries, you get on well during the trip - spend more time with him. Aim to make one of your next dates a visit to his parents' home. Observe how he speaks to and interacts with his family. How he speaks to them will be how he speaks to you in 2 years time.
Discuss children with him. How many he wants and when he's planning on having them. Does that match what you want?
After spending 2 or 3 more months with him you should be able to decide whether he really does seem to be the man for you.
If he really does seem right, you can then "marry" him. The form of this marriage could be the traditional way with a ceremony and a certificate. Or it could be a "personal marriage". Where it's just you pledging yourself to him verbally and him pledging himself verbally to you. Your word is your bond. And you should know him well enough by then to be able to take his word as his bond.
With either an "official marriage" or a "personal marriage" there's always the option of divorce if there becomes a good reason for you to divorce. Divorce is your Get Out Of Jail Free card.
At the back of your mind during all this process, should be that you are an attractive and desirable woman and there's an abundance of great men out there. And fairly often, the men that seem the best as you first get to know them, turn out to be the worst.
Reply 8
21
I would follow your heart on this. You can discuss with him how he feels too. Personally I don’t understand it when religion seek to block natural and harmless instincts. It quite often doesn’t work out well
Reply 9
Original post
by Dunnig KrugerGo away for the week-end with him to another city.
Do not do any sexual activity. Kissing on the lips and a hug is fine. Anything more than that: do not do it and do not allow him to do.
See how he reacts. See how you get on with him. See how he handles you being assertive about no sex on this trip.
Ideally have some way of secretly recording your bedroom scenes. As a precaution in the event of you getting raped, sexually assaulted, threatened, hit. (I don't know the guy, so I don't know the chances of this happening. But better safe than sorry)
If everything goes OK - IE he behaves well, respects your sexual boundaries, you get on well during the trip - spend more time with him. Aim to make one of your next dates a visit to his parents' home. Observe how he speaks to and interacts with his family. How he speaks to them will be how he speaks to you in 2 years time.
Discuss children with him. How many he wants and when he's planning on having them. Does that match what you want?
After spending 2 or 3 more months with him you should be able to decide whether he really does seem to be the man for you.
If he really does seem right, you can then "marry" him. The form of this marriage could be the traditional way with a ceremony and a certificate. Or it could be a "personal marriage". Where it's just you pledging yourself to him verbally and him pledging himself verbally to you. Your word is your bond. And you should know him well enough by then to be able to take his word as his bond.
With either an "official marriage" or a "personal marriage" there's always the option of divorce if there becomes a good reason for you to divorce. Divorce is your Get Out Of Jail Free card.
At the back of your mind during all this process, should be that you are an attractive and desirable woman and there's an abundance of great men out there. And fairly often, the men that seem the best as you first get to know them, turn out to be the worst.
Do not do any sexual activity. Kissing on the lips and a hug is fine. Anything more than that: do not do it and do not allow him to do.
See how he reacts. See how you get on with him. See how he handles you being assertive about no sex on this trip.
Ideally have some way of secretly recording your bedroom scenes. As a precaution in the event of you getting raped, sexually assaulted, threatened, hit. (I don't know the guy, so I don't know the chances of this happening. But better safe than sorry)
If everything goes OK - IE he behaves well, respects your sexual boundaries, you get on well during the trip - spend more time with him. Aim to make one of your next dates a visit to his parents' home. Observe how he speaks to and interacts with his family. How he speaks to them will be how he speaks to you in 2 years time.
Discuss children with him. How many he wants and when he's planning on having them. Does that match what you want?
After spending 2 or 3 more months with him you should be able to decide whether he really does seem to be the man for you.
If he really does seem right, you can then "marry" him. The form of this marriage could be the traditional way with a ceremony and a certificate. Or it could be a "personal marriage". Where it's just you pledging yourself to him verbally and him pledging himself verbally to you. Your word is your bond. And you should know him well enough by then to be able to take his word as his bond.
With either an "official marriage" or a "personal marriage" there's always the option of divorce if there becomes a good reason for you to divorce. Divorce is your Get Out Of Jail Free card.
At the back of your mind during all this process, should be that you are an attractive and desirable woman and there's an abundance of great men out there. And fairly often, the men that seem the best as you first get to know them, turn out to be the worst.
So I met the dude on Tinder. And I know what everyone will say - they just want sex, they are all players etc. I initially thought that too so when I went out with him, I only did it for the plot and to just have a fun night out. But then I realised how respectful he is in real life, he was very authentic and didn’t mention sex once. And then we went on couple more dates after, cinema, drinks etc. It had been 2 months of dating by now so we know eachother pretty well and it’s clear we like eachother. That’s where the ‘weekend trip’ came in, so we could have that time to ourselves. He initiated it as a special gesture and I had a feeling he would be the one paying for everything too.
We also got eachothers instagram since the beginning so I know a bit about his life/parents pictures too.
That’s the only reason why the V question has come. Because he’s the guy that I never expected to tick all my boxes especially from tinder.
Reply 10
Original post
by ZarekI would follow your heart on this. You can discuss with him how he feels too. Personally I don’t understand it when religion seek to block natural and harmless instincts. It quite often doesn’t work out well
That’s exactly my thought process too.
Although I love my religion & loyal towards it. I don’t understand how we are meant to tackle scientific stuff towards respecting the religion. As humans we are designed to reproduce right? And we have hormones for that process, but those same hormones are what causes desire & attraction. If one doesn’t satisfy their needs then it becomes a problem. E.g addiction, fantasies, a lot of maladaptive daydreaming. This has happened to me a lot in my teens because I never dated or anything so I would just end up romanticising a lot which was mentally exhausting and unnecessary. It only had stopped when I finally went out on my first date and all those thoughts basically became real life and I allowed myself to experience romance.
But
This is tough, it’s unfair because we didn’t choose to feel like this. So I’m slightly conflicted.
Reply 11
Original post
by subhan29Stupid? This just proves your ignorance and desire to follow your own path. Please dont claim to fear God if you are actively seeking advice for something going against the very boundaries of the God you claim to fear.
Omg, please read my text properly. Stupid towards the fact that the person said ‘simple’ when it’s really not, hence why my long paragraph of the situation. And yes I’m actively seeking advice, isn’t that better than deliberately just doing the wrong deed? Atleast I’m considerate about it. Why do people get so defensive when it comes to religion. We are taught to help one another and be considerate. But people think religion is about being unnecessarily defensive when literally nothing is going on or when someone is questioning the religion.
Reply 12
11
So you know it’s wrong, and you’re still questioning against it? The fact that you wrote you’re a Muslim in the original post means that you’re very well aware of what this means for your faith, and you do realise that you can’t pick and choose the religion as you wish. I’m nobody to judge; we’re all going to go in our own grave at the end of the day. But you even claim to be “quite religious”, yet still don’t understand why your religion goes against this. If everyone gave in to their desires, havoc would wreak across this Earth. We’ll maintain the decency from our end, and you can have your fun.
Reply 13
I totally disagree that if everyone gave in to their desires, havoc would wreak across the Earth.
Because that's already what happens. The human species is primarily emotional when it comes to making decisions.
And we don't have havoc across the Earth. We have havoc in pockets of the Earth.
If you're talking about carnal desires, then I disagree with you even more strongly.
Make love, not war!
More love, less hatred!
2 adults getting together on a loving, affectionate, intimate level is the joint most beautiful thing in the Universe.
Because that's already what happens. The human species is primarily emotional when it comes to making decisions.
And we don't have havoc across the Earth. We have havoc in pockets of the Earth.
If you're talking about carnal desires, then I disagree with you even more strongly.
Make love, not war!
More love, less hatred!
2 adults getting together on a loving, affectionate, intimate level is the joint most beautiful thing in the Universe.
Reply 14
If you want to lose your v- then do it inside of marriage.
Islam teaches you to lose it in marriage.
If you don’t mind me asking how old are you - get a nikkah done. Very small gathering.
ONLY if you are serious and not playing around.
That’s my advice.
I’m Muslim, but I would NEVER lose my v card out of marriage.
It’s the wrong thing to do imo
Islam teaches you to lose it in marriage.
If you don’t mind me asking how old are you - get a nikkah done. Very small gathering.
ONLY if you are serious and not playing around.
That’s my advice.
I’m Muslim, but I would NEVER lose my v card out of marriage.
It’s the wrong thing to do imo
Reply 15
Original post
by username7511545Hey everyone,
So there is a guy I have been dating for two months - we will call him M for short.
So I really like this guy right and it’s clear that he likes me back same way and same intensity. We get on like a house on fire and the initial spark is right there. The spark that everyone complains about never having in dating. I had it with him unexpectedly. He’s so manly, is polite and gentle and caring and smells heavenly. He is respectful and funny and charming. We haven’t spoken about what we are looking for - more so going along with the flow. But if you asked me to predict, I know it would lead to a relationship.
But I have a problem. So I am a virgin, and I never considered nor cared about wanting to have ‘IT’. I thought if I met the right guy, I’d feel like this and marry them and then lose my vcard. The right way. I am also Muslim. I am quite religious in a way that’s for my self belief, I don’t boast about it but I am religious for my integrity, if that makes sense. Like I don’t make my religion my personality and I’m not that person that is strict on what’s right or wrong. But my V is big for me. It would still be big even if I wasn’t religious. Because I take care of myself in a way where I want to be respected when it comes to that. But with M, everything feels right. Like my rules just let their guard down and I want to lose it to him. He knows I am a V, but he’s respectful about it. However, if we are dating, there does need to be some sort of action of that going on. To relieve that desire that we have for one another. I can’t keep it from someone I’d be dating. But I want to have it but I’m worried about my beliefs.
I’m not ready to get married also, as I’m quite young. I just want things to be easy and go with the flow.
The reason why I’m questioning is because our next ‘date’ is basically going away for the weekend to another city and for me to potentially lose my V with him. I mean if I really want this guy I can’t keep it from him. If I think about ending things because of it then it really breaks my heart
What should I do??
I need advice!!
So there is a guy I have been dating for two months - we will call him M for short.
So I really like this guy right and it’s clear that he likes me back same way and same intensity. We get on like a house on fire and the initial spark is right there. The spark that everyone complains about never having in dating. I had it with him unexpectedly. He’s so manly, is polite and gentle and caring and smells heavenly. He is respectful and funny and charming. We haven’t spoken about what we are looking for - more so going along with the flow. But if you asked me to predict, I know it would lead to a relationship.
But I have a problem. So I am a virgin, and I never considered nor cared about wanting to have ‘IT’. I thought if I met the right guy, I’d feel like this and marry them and then lose my vcard. The right way. I am also Muslim. I am quite religious in a way that’s for my self belief, I don’t boast about it but I am religious for my integrity, if that makes sense. Like I don’t make my religion my personality and I’m not that person that is strict on what’s right or wrong. But my V is big for me. It would still be big even if I wasn’t religious. Because I take care of myself in a way where I want to be respected when it comes to that. But with M, everything feels right. Like my rules just let their guard down and I want to lose it to him. He knows I am a V, but he’s respectful about it. However, if we are dating, there does need to be some sort of action of that going on. To relieve that desire that we have for one another. I can’t keep it from someone I’d be dating. But I want to have it but I’m worried about my beliefs.
I’m not ready to get married also, as I’m quite young. I just want things to be easy and go with the flow.
The reason why I’m questioning is because our next ‘date’ is basically going away for the weekend to another city and for me to potentially lose my V with him. I mean if I really want this guy I can’t keep it from him. If I think about ending things because of it then it really breaks my heart
What should I do??
I need advice!!
I suggest avoid dating, it can feel soo good in the moment but the way it breaks people is disgusting,please
Reply 16
Not dating breaks people. Not everyone. But a large proportion are broken by the loneliness, the chipping away of their self esteem, their stagnation in the romantic aspects of their lives.
The nature of the "breaking" from dating is: "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
Everyone that I know that's gone through a bad break-up has been a stronger and better person for going through the experience - once the dust has settled and they've moved on.
The nature of the "breaking" from dating is: "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
Everyone that I know that's gone through a bad break-up has been a stronger and better person for going through the experience - once the dust has settled and they've moved on.
Reply 17
This isn't a relationship problem, it sounds like this guy isn't pressuring you and is respectful of you and your beliefs but you are so in love with him you are willing to forego those beliefs for him for his and your pleasure.
That's a crisis of faith not a relationship problem seek a preacher not a forum
That's a crisis of faith not a relationship problem seek a preacher not a forum
(edited 10 months ago)
Reply 18
Original post
by AnonymousIf you want to lose your v- then do it inside of marriage.
Islam teaches you to lose it in marriage.
If you don’t mind me asking how old are you - get a nikkah done. Very small gathering.
ONLY if you are serious and not playing around.
That’s my advice.
I’m Muslim, but I would NEVER lose my v card out of marriage.
It’s the wrong thing to do imo
Islam teaches you to lose it in marriage.
If you don’t mind me asking how old are you - get a nikkah done. Very small gathering.
ONLY if you are serious and not playing around.
That’s my advice.
I’m Muslim, but I would NEVER lose my v card out of marriage.
It’s the wrong thing to do imo
I agree 100%
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