Previous Relationship

Sooooo....the boys I liked (AT SOME POINT IN TIME) I'm now noticing things about them. And it's funny because I used to have a huge crush on these boys. Okay, so enough about me yapping about my previous crushes let me get to the point. How do you find a boy that is right for you? I know your supposed to look into how they act or how their personality is, but I haven't been able to find a guy that I like. Last boy I dated, he was not so good. Lot of red flags. And I do not know how to find another boy after dating him because he's made me feel like I could only date him even if we weren't dating. He'd make comments about my body, and talk about his ex's contacted him. THEN he went and got into another relationship. He talked to me about a poly relationship and I told him he had to tell me about it and he didn't. Turns out it was one of his exe's and that upset me. And I don't know how to get rid of my thoughts of him or the remembering of his hands on me. I still feel like it is bad and I don't know if I healed from the relationship but I can't go into much detail because it makes me upset. How do you find a guy good enough for you and how do you know if you've healed????

Sooooo....the boys I liked (AT SOME POINT IN TIME) I'm now noticing things about them. And it's funny because I used to have a huge crush on these boys. Okay, so enough about me yapping about my previous crushes let me get to the point. How do you find a boy that is right for you? I know your supposed to look into how they act or how their personality is, but I haven't been able to find a guy that I like. Last boy I dated, he was not so good. Lot of red flags. And I do not know how to find another boy after dating him because he's made me feel like I could only date him even if we weren't dating. He'd make comments about my body, and talk about his ex's contacted him. THEN he went and got into another relationship. He talked to me about a poly relationship and I told him he had to tell me about it and he didn't. Turns out it was one of his exe's and that upset me. And I don't know how to get rid of my thoughts of him or the remembering of his hands on me. I still feel like it is bad and I don't know if I healed from the relationship but I can't go into much detail because it makes me upset. How do you find a guy good enough for you and how do you know if you've healed????

How old are you?
Poly relationships are hard. Every relationship should be based on trust, poly is even harder because trust should be built between more than too parties.
Even if you are ready for a poly relationship, poly relationship should not be your first one, you need to learn to be in any relatonship first and only than try poly. What you experienced is not a poly relationship, what the guy offered you is simply an open relationship when he can easily cheat and escape a relationship whenever he wants... it is not poly.
I'm sorry to hear you've been in bad relationships before. It takes time to heal and sometimes the best things is to take small steps. Get to know guys before you date. Talk with them, meet them. talk about your previous experiences once you are ready. It is important to see the reaction and see if the guy is supportive and emphatic for you. When you feel it is the right time to move on, don't be afraid to be the one who leads a relationship.

That's not a truly Ethically non monogamous (ENM) relationship That's the guy cheating without consequences. In a poly relationship you establish a framework for how it works each person is different but you usually know who the other person is seeing and have some relationship to them yourself (usually friendship, occasionally also romantic)
ENM takes a lot of work even as a solo poly person this guy isn't doing that work to be open and honest and develop trust with his partners his ******* around and claiming it's something it isnt