Are you true friends if you don't hang outside of school frequently
I've seen a lot of people online that say that you can't be true friends unless you hang out frequently outside of school. I've got a group of friends that I've been friends with since Y7 and we've only hung out a handful of time (maybe like 3-5 times per year) and I'm not sure if this constitutes as a good friendship or if it will last after Y13 ends.
The thing is we don't live walking distance from each other, at least from my end most of them are about 3-4 miles from my house so it would take about an hour by foot and since we're now in Y13 some of them have part time jobs on the weekend, but I'm not sure if this is a good reason for why we don't hang out frequently.
The thing is we don't live walking distance from each other, at least from my end most of them are about 3-4 miles from my house so it would take about an hour by foot and since we're now in Y13 some of them have part time jobs on the weekend, but I'm not sure if this is a good reason for why we don't hang out frequently.
Reply 1
Original post
by AnonymousI've seen a lot of people online that say that you can't be true friends unless you hang out frequently outside of school. I've got a group of friends that I've been friends with since Y7 and we've only hung out a handful of time (maybe like 3-5 times per year) and I'm not sure if this constitutes as a good friendship or if it will last after Y13 ends.
The thing is we don't live walking distance from each other, at least from my end most of them are about 3-4 miles from my house so it would take about an hour by foot and since we're now in Y13 some of them have part time jobs on the weekend, but I'm not sure if this is a good reason for why we don't hang out frequently.
The thing is we don't live walking distance from each other, at least from my end most of them are about 3-4 miles from my house so it would take about an hour by foot and since we're now in Y13 some of them have part time jobs on the weekend, but I'm not sure if this is a good reason for why we don't hang out frequently.
I also want to add that out of my 4 main friends 3 of us including me are quite introverted so we do enjoy our alone time and don't socialise much
Reply 2
hi this is exactly my situation! personally i would say that the frequency of meeting up outside ofschool with your friends doesnt decide whether you are true friends or not. if you feel that you understand when they're unhappy or uncomfortable and you can tell how they're feeling (unless they are very good at hiding emotions)that shows the depth of your friendship. also if you feel that you can trust them to tell them things you wouldnt normally share, or if you feel like you dont have to put on a false face and can show that you are tired or just cant be bothered some days. maybe you have really good laughs at school and you feel just content with making jokes and smiling with them at school... you dont always need to go out, sometimes only meeting up 3-5x a year shows the mark of your friendship as you dont always need to see one another but the friendship remains how it is. i live relatively far from my friends as well and this means that its not easy to just be like 'hey lets go out' at random times. i keep in mind that we each have our own family lives and goings-on at home so we wont ALWAYS be out together like some friend groups you may see. one of my friends frequently goes to newcastle, one goes to cambridge every other week and in the summer me and the other spend a whole month abroad in our respective home countries. this means that we need to plan in advnce and take into consideration everyones separate plans so we dont meet up to much.
my friend group, like yours, isnt overly extroverted and we definitely prefer having large gaps between when we see each other outside of school. id say that even when i see them every single day 5 days a week i get tired quickly and need a break, but thats a whole other story.
in terms of staying friends after y13, im in y11 so im not sure about this fully, but id say that maybe thats the opportunity to start saying hey guys lets all make an opportuniy to meet up every 2 months? maybe this way you can keep in touch, especially if you feel like, to you, they are really good friends and you want to hold on to this friendship,
if not, then see what the others do and see how you feel when schools ending!
anyway maybe after a couple meet ups the plan will begin to fade away or maybe it will strengthen your friendship further and you can each tell one another the new things in your lives and funny situations and thoughts about the future, who knows?
if youre really concerned about not meeting up enough though, then try to encourage all of you to go out more often, maybe once or twice a month, even if its just to a coffee shop or park for a couple hours. see how that goes!
i hope this essay helped lol
my friend group, like yours, isnt overly extroverted and we definitely prefer having large gaps between when we see each other outside of school. id say that even when i see them every single day 5 days a week i get tired quickly and need a break, but thats a whole other story.
in terms of staying friends after y13, im in y11 so im not sure about this fully, but id say that maybe thats the opportunity to start saying hey guys lets all make an opportuniy to meet up every 2 months? maybe this way you can keep in touch, especially if you feel like, to you, they are really good friends and you want to hold on to this friendship,
if not, then see what the others do and see how you feel when schools ending!
anyway maybe after a couple meet ups the plan will begin to fade away or maybe it will strengthen your friendship further and you can each tell one another the new things in your lives and funny situations and thoughts about the future, who knows?
if youre really concerned about not meeting up enough though, then try to encourage all of you to go out more often, maybe once or twice a month, even if its just to a coffee shop or park for a couple hours. see how that goes!
i hope this essay helped lol
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