The Student Room Group

Does He Like Me Back?

So.

I've been in a friendship group at uni with this guy for just over a year. Whenever he is round my (and my other friends' flat) for weekly Film Night, he sits next to me. Every single time. When we played D and D with our other friends, his character called mine 'little darling' and nobody else's. He's into girls (I'm a girl) and doesn't have a girlfriend. He hugs me sometimes when saying goodbye, he laughs at my jokes quite a bit and is naturally a jokey, chill, friendly person so he also makes me laugh. When I got stranded at my uni due to a road accident (I live in town) he offered to help me get home.

He is naturally kind, so it may well have been a friendly thing. When I was showing him and some of our other friends a photo of me from a years ago, he said I looked good in it. Back when I was in a relationship with a different member of the group (was already with them when I entered the friendship group) and I was fretting over not being conventionally attractive (I've got blonde hair and blue eyes, symmetrical face etc, I know the beauty standards are Eurocentric and problematic but anyway, I'm a little on the chubby side nowadays) my other friends said I was pretty. He said he didn't feel it appropriate to comment due to my having a partner (who was there). I interpreted that as him just being respectful or whatever, regardless of what he thought, but my partner thought it was possible he could have meant it in another way.

We had lunch together a few months back and he gave up time to spend together-he's one of the busiest people I know, and he took time out for me. Another time, I asked him on the fly if he wanted lunch together. He seemed surprised but said yes and we had a nice conversation. He compliments me sometimes, and he helps me out with practical things sometimes. We have good banter together, and he sometimes remembers specific things I've mentioned. When I was out chatting about this guy to a friend a bit after I realised I had feelings (obviously post-break up) she encouraged me to ask him to come on a day trip with me.

I messaged him (only reason I didn't chicken out is because I'd had a drink) and asked if he wanted to come with me to this place for the day. He's a very independent person and doesn't do anything he doesn't want to (lovely but good at setting boundaries, being firm etc). I said I understand he already had some plans this weekend, we could go another time or with our friend group etc. He messaged back asking what time, and he could work it around what he had on. Which coming from him, is quite good, I think? Anyway, we figured we wouldn't have much time there and moved the day to when we'd both be free (this coming Monday).

He said he was looking forward to it. He hasn't invited anyone else or suggested we invite anyone, and neither have I. He sometimes sends smiley faces in texts but never kisses. When I got to his house for a DnD session, he was walking up with my now-ex, who didn't notice me. But he did from the beginning of the street, and looked at me for most of that time (my ex did not, and we were still together at that point).

I don't know. I get the vibe that he could like me and have kept it hidden due to my being in a relationship previously, and giving me space to heal. He doesn't act like this with anyone else that I've seen, so I don't know if it's friendliness or something else. He is an honest person but respectful and mature too. He's really understanding as well. He's not a big texter but replies to me pretty quickly, and likes quite a few of my Instagram stories. When I told him I was worried about how things were going with myself and my now-ex, he told me we had a special connection, but he sounded almost sad? I may have misinterpreted his tone, though. We have fairly deep conversations sometimes.

Nobody in the group has mentioned anything to do with any potential feelings of his, but we generally hang out as a group, and the one friend that does live with him may not have done because of my previous relationship. In terms of my feelings, I started liking him a bit alongside having feelings for my now-ex, who was comfortable with that but said nothing to him (we broke up for different reasons-our sexualities are incompatible). Now, I definitely know I like him, and I feel as though I've almost entirely healed from the relationship with my ex, who never actually had romantic feelings for me anyway. I wouldn't rush into anything with this crush, but if I see how the trip goes and maybe casually bring up Valentine's Day and me not having plans this year?

Do you guys think he likes me, or am I deluding myself? I also want to clarify that he wouldn't be a rebound. I genuinely like him and am very attracted to him.

TLDR: I think this guy likes me and was holding it back, but I might just be delusional, and I'm in a place where I'm ready to consider acting on it if he's interested too.
Reply 1
Generally you can trust your inner instincts on this type of thing. Anyway, I would try to make it happen
Original post by Anonymous
So.
I've been in a friendship group at uni with this guy for just over a year. Whenever he is round my (and my other friends' flat) for weekly Film Night, he sits next to me. Every single time. When we played D and D with our other friends, his character called mine 'little darling' and nobody else's. He's into girls (I'm a girl) and doesn't have a girlfriend. He hugs me sometimes when saying goodbye, he laughs at my jokes quite a bit and is naturally a jokey, chill, friendly person so he also makes me laugh. When I got stranded at my uni due to a road accident (I live in town) he offered to help me get home.
He is naturally kind, so it may well have been a friendly thing. When I was showing him and some of our other friends a photo of me from a years ago, he said I looked good in it. Back when I was in a relationship with a different member of the group (was already with them when I entered the friendship group) and I was fretting over not being conventionally attractive (I've got blonde hair and blue eyes, symmetrical face etc, I know the beauty standards are Eurocentric and problematic but anyway, I'm a little on the chubby side nowadays) my other friends said I was pretty. He said he didn't feel it appropriate to comment due to my having a partner (who was there). I interpreted that as him just being respectful or whatever, regardless of what he thought, but my partner thought it was possible he could have meant it in another way.
We had lunch together a few months back and he gave up time to spend together-he's one of the busiest people I know, and he took time out for me. Another time, I asked him on the fly if he wanted lunch together. He seemed surprised but said yes and we had a nice conversation. He compliments me sometimes, and he helps me out with practical things sometimes. We have good banter together, and he sometimes remembers specific things I've mentioned. When I was out chatting about this guy to a friend a bit after I realised I had feelings (obviously post-break up) she encouraged me to ask him to come on a day trip with me.
I messaged him (only reason I didn't chicken out is because I'd had a drink) and asked if he wanted to come with me to this place for the day. He's a very independent person and doesn't do anything he doesn't want to (lovely but good at setting boundaries, being firm etc). I said I understand he already had some plans this weekend, we could go another time or with our friend group etc. He messaged back asking what time, and he could work it around what he had on. Which coming from him, is quite good, I think? Anyway, we figured we wouldn't have much time there and moved the day to when we'd both be free (this coming Monday).
He said he was looking forward to it. He hasn't invited anyone else or suggested we invite anyone, and neither have I. He sometimes sends smiley faces in texts but never kisses. When I got to his house for a DnD session, he was walking up with my now-ex, who didn't notice me. But he did from the beginning of the street, and looked at me for most of that time (my ex did not, and we were still together at that point).
I don't know. I get the vibe that he could like me and have kept it hidden due to my being in a relationship previously, and giving me space to heal. He doesn't act like this with anyone else that I've seen, so I don't know if it's friendliness or something else. He is an honest person but respectful and mature too. He's really understanding as well. He's not a big texter but replies to me pretty quickly, and likes quite a few of my Instagram stories. When I told him I was worried about how things were going with myself and my now-ex, he told me we had a special connection, but he sounded almost sad? I may have misinterpreted his tone, though. We have fairly deep conversations sometimes.
Nobody in the group has mentioned anything to do with any potential feelings of his, but we generally hang out as a group, and the one friend that does live with him may not have done because of my previous relationship. In terms of my feelings, I started liking him a bit alongside having feelings for my now-ex, who was comfortable with that but said nothing to him (we broke up for different reasons-our sexualities are incompatible). Now, I definitely know I like him, and I feel as though I've almost entirely healed from the relationship with my ex, who never actually had romantic feelings for me anyway. I wouldn't rush into anything with this crush, but if I see how the trip goes and maybe casually bring up Valentine's Day and me not having plans this year?
Do you guys think he likes me, or am I deluding myself? I also want to clarify that he wouldn't be a rebound. I genuinely like him and am very attracted to him.
TLDR: I think this guy likes me and was holding it back, but I might just be delusional, and I'm in a place where I'm ready to consider acting on it if he's interested too.

Hesitation is defeat
See how the trip goes and arrange another get-together if it's good, but don't mention Valentine's Day; that's tacky and too much pressure on someone to be romantic when you haven't even dated. If it works out, there are plenty of other 14th Febs in the future.
Reply 4
Original post by the_stu_DENT
Hesitation is defeat

Did you read the post properly? I've just come out of a relationship. I'm not rushing into things, and he wouldn't out of respect, even if he felt the same way. Which me might not.
Reply 5
Original post by Anonymous
Did you read the post properly? I've just come out of a relationship. I'm not rushing into things, and he wouldn't out of respect, even if he felt the same way. Which me might not.

He*
Reply 6
Original post by Zarek
Generally you can trust your inner instincts on this type of thing. Anyway, I would try to make it happen

Do you reckon? I don't know if it's my instincts telling me he might like me, or if my judgement is being clouded by the feelings I have.
Reply 7
Original post by Anonymous
Do you reckon? I don't know if it's my instincts telling me he might like me, or if my judgement is being clouded by the feelings I have.

There is a risk of wishful thinking, that’s why it’s the inner instinct that’s the best guide. From what you say it seems positive, the only question is why it hasn’t happened yet if he’s keen. Up the flirting and suggest a follow up when you go out
Reply 8
Original post by Zarek
There is a risk of wishful thinking, that’s why it’s the inner instinct that’s the best guide. From what you say it seems positive, the only question is why it hasn’t happened yet if he’s keen. Up the flirting and suggest a follow up when you go out

It hasn't happened yet because I was in a relationship. I also liked his guy a bit but repressed it because I was clinging onto a relationship that wasn't working where neither of us were happy. He did seek uncomfortable around us sometimes and seemed sad once when talking about my ex and I. I'll compliment something he's wearing today or something subtle, then go from there. Thank you for your advice.
Reply 9
Original post by Zarek
There is a risk of wishful thinking, that’s why it’s the inner instinct that’s the best guide. From what you say it seems positive, the only question is why it hasn’t happened yet if he’s keen. Up the flirting and suggest a follow up when you go out

My break-up was only recently, and he was friends with both of us. Hope this clarifies things.
Reply 10
Original post by Anonymous
My break-up was only recently, and he was friends with both of us. Hope this clarifies things.

Carpe diem
Update #1: We had a Games Night with our friends last night. This is the first time we've seen each other in person since my break-up (due to us both being genuinely busy).

One of our mutual friends, his closest friend in the group, commented on my hair (dyed it a lighter blonde). He was really tired, so sort of nodded when our friends were nice about my hair. We sat next to each other on the sofa, as usual. Things felt tense (which worries me).

We sat next to each other when playing Cards Against Humanity. We shared some jokes and there was maybe an occasion or two of prolonged eye contact (other eye contact was briefer). We laughed at some of each other's jokes, he showed me a funny card and I did the same with him in turn after that.

Our legs touched here and there, and our fingers brushed once or twice. I'd comment on something he'd said and he'd deepen the conversation (between turns/ rounds). At one point, my ex chipped in to comment that 'we' were distracting him (the guy was barely talking to him, my ex just wanted his attention because he fancies him too).

I also asked if anyone would like my share bag of crisps, as I'd had a lot of them, and he took me up on the offer. When my ex and I went to the door with the guy we like and the friend said guy is closest to (a thing we frequently do anyway) we hugged, as usual, but this time it felt different.

I might be delusional, don't get me wrong. But I felt this hug was less tentative than our usual ones-about a second longer, maybe, and his hands were more firmly on my back. We've got that trip on Monday, so I'll update you all again then. Thank you all for your advice, it's much appreciated 🩷
Original post by Anonymous
Update #1: We had a Games Night with our friends last night. This is the first time we've seen each other in person since my break-up (due to us both being genuinely busy).
One of our mutual friends, his closest friend in the group, commented on my hair (dyed it a lighter blonde). He was really tired, so sort of nodded when our friends were nice about my hair. We sat next to each other on the sofa, as usual. Things felt tense (which worries me).
We sat next to each other when playing Cards Against Humanity. We shared some jokes and there was maybe an occasion or two of prolonged eye contact (other eye contact was briefer). We laughed at some of each other's jokes, he showed me a funny card and I did the same with him in turn after that.
Our legs touched here and there, and our fingers brushed once or twice. I'd comment on something he'd said and he'd deepen the conversation (between turns/ rounds). At one point, my ex chipped in to comment that 'we' were distracting him (the guy was barely talking to him, my ex just wanted his attention because he fancies him too).
I also asked if anyone would like my share bag of crisps, as I'd had a lot of them, and he took me up on the offer. When my ex and I went to the door with the guy we like and the friend said guy is closest to (a thing we frequently do anyway) we hugged, as usual, but this time it felt different.
I might be delusional, don't get me wrong. But I felt this hug was less tentative than our usual ones-about a second longer, maybe, and his hands were more firmly on my back. We've got that trip on Monday, so I'll update you all again then. Thank you all for your advice, it's much appreciated 🩷

Update??????
I have so much envy of your D&D schedule
With most of these kinds of threads I tell people to stop trying to cast Detect Thoughts, it's not gonna work, they should figure out if THEY (the poster) like the person they're talking about rather than the other way around.

In this case you seem to have figured out that you really truly like this guy, which is great! Well done!

I think you've been doing the right thing by continuing to hang out with him and gradually making your feelings known. If I were you I might take the next step and be a little more obvious at this point. He very probably has the same uncertainty and anticipation you do - "is she into me...? She's very friendly and touchy" etc.

Anyway please update us, this is cute as hell!

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