Another Valentine's rant

It isn't uncommon when arranging things to feel like people aren't as enthusiastic about it as you are. It doesn't mean they're not going to enjoy it. At the same time, given that it's a double date with you, your ex of ten years and your new partners, it wouldn't surprise me if others weren't quite as enthusiastic about it as you are. The fact that you want to convince your ex's new partner that you're not a threat should make it obvious to you that she's likely to wary of the situation to some degree, and she's entitled to be. Your partner may have similar feelings about your ex. You should perhaps reflect on how positive it is that they've all agreed to this in the first place, and not be concerned just because they're not approaching it with the same enthusiasm that you are.

NO... It is my ex+his wife, and my partner and me.... That's why it's a double date...
I just want good relationship with her... getting to know each other as friends.... why is that a bad idea?!
She's a good person, otherwise he wouldn't be with her.
My partner knows my ex and they are in good terms. My ex is very happy for me finding someone we share so much and love each other so much.
They agreed but they don't seem to do anything....

Thanks for some inputs though... Sorry if I seem aggressive...

You say "no" but I don't think I've misunderstood the situation. I realise it's the four of you. It's why I referred to it as a double date and said that it was you, your ex and your respective new partners.
Having a good relationship with your ex's wife when you and are ex are still good friends isn't a bad idea at all. I don't think anyone has suggested otherwise. But you have to appreciate that, even if she is entirely accepting of your ongoing friendship with your ex, it is entirely up to her to what degree she has and maintains a relationship with you. She may well have plenty of friends of her own that she doesn't get time to see, so really doesn't want to put the effort into a newer friendship with you. Or it may be that she just doesn't want to be "good" friends with you for a whole host of other, entirely valid reasons. That is her choice, and one that you should respect. But as I have said, I don't think you have anything to be ranting about here. The fact that this is happening at all is a good sign for your purposes. If others don't want to put as much effort into the potentially developing friendships as you'd like, I'm afraid that's just something you're going to have to accept. His wife just might not want to be good friends with you, and that is fine, even if you'd ideally want her to view it differently.

"Hey babe, we'll be spending valentines day with my ex from now on ok?"
"...great..."
As Jamie said, it a stretch to assume everyone is as keen on this odd situation as you are and the wife might just not really want anything to do with her husbands ex, let alone having them in the picture at all. You can do your best to remove alcohol or stick to safe topics but the chances for awkwardness or drama are high so I can understand people being apprehensive or not 100% keen on it.

Are you sure she is as interested in meeting you and you are her? Its not common to meet your partners ex even if you are on good terms and still friends. My ex mentioned on a number of occasions that he wanted to meet my husband, but my husband was not comfortable with that and had no interest in meeting my ex so it never happened. I understand wanting to let her know that you are not a threat but she may just not be comfortable about meeting her partners ex partner.
On another note, its Valentines day! Traditionally when couples spend time together alone, I get its special to you two because you met on Valentines day but maybe she wants a traditional valentines date with just her partner and you can't fault her for that.

My ex and I met on Valentine's (it wasn't even a date, we just met on a party on Valentine's). We were talking for several years online before and just were close online friends.
We spent together around 10 years and when we broke up we remained best friends and kept celebrating Valentine's as the day we met IRL.
Years went by and he has a family now and I have a new serious relationship. Last year Valentine's didn't work for us (my health issues and his busy schedule), so we skipped it. We also distanced a bit which made both of us sad because we'd like to keep in touch and meet more often.
This year I wanted to double date. I want his wife to accept me and get to know each other. I want to show her that I'm not a threat at any way and that we can be good friends.
I've been trying to arrange it for a week already and scheduled a table for us and I'm ready to pick them up and return (ready not to drink), everyone seems ok with it but ok in a 'I don't care' way, no one except of me is trying to do something to make that happen.
I'm not the best person to organize things because it takes too much energy from me and I get either excited or anxious about things like that pretty quickly.
I just wanted to rant now, but any comment would be appreciated because anything could bring some ideas or thoughts...

It seems like I'm relatively alone in agreeing with you that this is actually a sweet idea.
IMO it's ignorance of other people and particularly other people in our partner's life that leads us to feel threatened by them. It's really nice you're making an effort to reach out to your ex's new partner.
I hope it all goes well and I bet it will. For example my mum and dad and stepmum are all really good friends - it can absolutely happen when people who are big-hearted enough make the effort.
It wouldn't surprise me if the other folks are a little uncertain about the whole thing but I bet they'll warm up in person.