im 19 female with zero experience in relationships so
Is it strange that im turning almost 20 without any experience?
I wouldnt say im ugly since few guys tried to approach me and they were even buying me 303 roses and paying for everything (im from postsoviet union country), but i didnt like them and just felt disgust when i was with them (im kinda avoidant)
I feel very strange when guys ask me did i have relationships and i reply with no, maybe it seems im hiding my situationships or lying about bfs and all this stuff
And also, after what time of talking its fine to start relationships? And do yall kiss before starting relationships or after?
I wouldnt say im ugly since few guys tried to approach me and they were even buying me 303 roses and paying for everything (im from postsoviet union country), but i didnt like them and just felt disgust when i was with them (im kinda avoidant)
I feel very strange when guys ask me did i have relationships and i reply with no, maybe it seems im hiding my situationships or lying about bfs and all this stuff
And also, after what time of talking its fine to start relationships? And do yall kiss before starting relationships or after?
Not strange at all; there's no target age by which you should have dated, and don't compare yourself to other people. Same with starting a relationship; it's a different timescale for everyone but depends on how you date, like if you see each other regularly and actually do things together and have actual interesting, back-and-forth conversations; too many people rely on messaging and aren't realistic about how it should be. I had graduated and was several years into working before I met a guy, we dated for 3 months and and the first time we kissed was when we decided to properly get together.
Original post by Anonymous
Is it strange that im turning almost 20 without any experience?
I wouldnt say im ugly since few guys tried to approach me and they were even buying me 303 roses and paying for everything (im from postsoviet union country), but i didnt like them and just felt disgust when i was with them (im kinda avoidant)
I feel very strange when guys ask me did i have relationships and i reply with no, maybe it seems im hiding my situationships or lying about bfs and all this stuff
And also, after what time of talking its fine to start relationships? And do yall kiss before starting relationships or after?
I wouldnt say im ugly since few guys tried to approach me and they were even buying me 303 roses and paying for everything (im from postsoviet union country), but i didnt like them and just felt disgust when i was with them (im kinda avoidant)
I feel very strange when guys ask me did i have relationships and i reply with no, maybe it seems im hiding my situationships or lying about bfs and all this stuff
And also, after what time of talking its fine to start relationships? And do yall kiss before starting relationships or after?
Most people start dating a little younger than you but I wouldn’t worry, it’s generally casual sex that raises the eyebrow more than celibacy.
I always kiss on a date otherwise it’s considered a friendly meet/failed date.
(edited 2 months ago)
Reply 3
I had my first kiss at 25 with the love of my life. Only person I've ever been with and going strong for years now. When it's right, its right. No need to rush or panic.
Reply 4
Original post by Anonymous
I had my first kiss at 25 with the love of my life. Only person I've ever been with and going strong for years now. When it's right, its right. No need to rush or panic.
How did you understand that its the right person?
Reply 5
It's fine to start a relationship after 10 minutes of talking. You can always end the relationship whenever you want for any reason or no reason inparticular. And sometimes - especially when you have some experience - you will meet someone and know very quickly that you're right for each other.
Usually it's something like 4 to 10 hours of time together, face to face, that is sufficient to embark on a sexual relationship.
When guys ask you "job interview" type questions, such as "How many relationships have you had?" it's fine to give them teasing or flirting answers. EG "You're not going to get into my knickers tonight." or "Aww, that's sweet. You're sounding me out to evaluate if you should get into a relationship with me." or "You're attracted to me. Let's slow down a little bit and get to know each other first."
Taking some of the logic and linearity out of your conversations makes you more charismatic.
Another principle is frame control. It's better if you don't qualify nor justify yourself to the men that you meet. If they ask you a question where the logical response will lead you to justifying or qualifying yourself: don't.
You don't need to justify your lack of relationship experience to any man.
It's better if you put men in a position where they are justifying or qualifying themselves to you.
It's the "buyer-seller dynamic". Better to be the selector than the selected.
Usually it's something like 4 to 10 hours of time together, face to face, that is sufficient to embark on a sexual relationship.
When guys ask you "job interview" type questions, such as "How many relationships have you had?" it's fine to give them teasing or flirting answers. EG "You're not going to get into my knickers tonight." or "Aww, that's sweet. You're sounding me out to evaluate if you should get into a relationship with me." or "You're attracted to me. Let's slow down a little bit and get to know each other first."
Taking some of the logic and linearity out of your conversations makes you more charismatic.
Another principle is frame control. It's better if you don't qualify nor justify yourself to the men that you meet. If they ask you a question where the logical response will lead you to justifying or qualifying yourself: don't.
You don't need to justify your lack of relationship experience to any man.
It's better if you put men in a position where they are justifying or qualifying themselves to you.
It's the "buyer-seller dynamic". Better to be the selector than the selected.
Reply 6
Original post by Anonymous
Is it strange that im turning almost 20 without any experience?
I wouldnt say im ugly since few guys tried to approach me and they were even buying me 303 roses and paying for everything (im from postsoviet union country), but i didnt like them and just felt disgust when i was with them (im kinda avoidant)
I feel very strange when guys ask me did i have relationships and i reply with no, maybe it seems im hiding my situationships or lying about bfs and all this stuff
And also, after what time of talking its fine to start relationships? And do yall kiss before starting relationships or after?
I wouldnt say im ugly since few guys tried to approach me and they were even buying me 303 roses and paying for everything (im from postsoviet union country), but i didnt like them and just felt disgust when i was with them (im kinda avoidant)
I feel very strange when guys ask me did i have relationships and i reply with no, maybe it seems im hiding my situationships or lying about bfs and all this stuff
And also, after what time of talking its fine to start relationships? And do yall kiss before starting relationships or after?
No you are still young. No rush .
Reply 7
Original post by Dunnig Kruger
It's fine to start a relationship after 10 minutes of talking. You can always end the relationship whenever you want for any reason or no reason inparticular. And sometimes - especially when you have some experience - you will meet someone and know very quickly that you're right for each other.
Usually it's something like 4 to 10 hours of time together, face to face, that is sufficient to embark on a sexual relationship.
When guys ask you "job interview" type questions, such as "How many relationships have you had?" it's fine to give them teasing or flirting answers. EG "You're not going to get into my knickers tonight." or "Aww, that's sweet. You're sounding me out to evaluate if you should get into a relationship with me." or "You're attracted to me. Let's slow down a little bit and get to know each other first."
Taking some of the logic and linearity out of your conversations makes you more charismatic.
Another principle is frame control. It's better if you don't qualify nor justify yourself to the men that you meet. If they ask you a question where the logical response will lead you to justifying or qualifying yourself: don't.
You don't need to justify your lack of relationship experience to any man.
It's better if you put men in a position where they are justifying or qualifying themselves to you.
It's the "buyer-seller dynamic". Better to be the selector than the selected.
Usually it's something like 4 to 10 hours of time together, face to face, that is sufficient to embark on a sexual relationship.
When guys ask you "job interview" type questions, such as "How many relationships have you had?" it's fine to give them teasing or flirting answers. EG "You're not going to get into my knickers tonight." or "Aww, that's sweet. You're sounding me out to evaluate if you should get into a relationship with me." or "You're attracted to me. Let's slow down a little bit and get to know each other first."
Taking some of the logic and linearity out of your conversations makes you more charismatic.
Another principle is frame control. It's better if you don't qualify nor justify yourself to the men that you meet. If they ask you a question where the logical response will lead you to justifying or qualifying yourself: don't.
You don't need to justify your lack of relationship experience to any man.
It's better if you put men in a position where they are justifying or qualifying themselves to you.
It's the "buyer-seller dynamic". Better to be the selector than the selected.
Im currently on the talking stage with a guy, we had two calls for 2 hours each, and during the second call he already tried to ask me but i didnt let him ask, i asked another wuestion at the same time, but he will probably try to ask again, should i tell him true? What will be if i tell?
Reply 8
2 hours is too long.
It's better if you demonstrate that your time is valuable. You do this by saying good bye and hanging up at the 20 to 30 minute stage of a phone call with a guy.
If he wants to talk to you more, arrange to meet up in real life.
If he asks about your relationship history again, fob him off with your answer. By going off on a tangent.
Do not let him put you in a frame where you are justifying your lack of relationship experience.
If he asks you the same question a third time, you can call him out on his obsession with this question. Call him out in a humourous socially calibrated way.
The underlying mentality behind all this is that you are a high quality woman. You're OK. And he's OK (until proven otherwise).
High quality women don't fritter away 2 hours of their life on a phone call. And they don't justify nor qualify themselves to anyone.
It's better if you demonstrate that your time is valuable. You do this by saying good bye and hanging up at the 20 to 30 minute stage of a phone call with a guy.
If he wants to talk to you more, arrange to meet up in real life.
If he asks about your relationship history again, fob him off with your answer. By going off on a tangent.
Do not let him put you in a frame where you are justifying your lack of relationship experience.
If he asks you the same question a third time, you can call him out on his obsession with this question. Call him out in a humourous socially calibrated way.
The underlying mentality behind all this is that you are a high quality woman. You're OK. And he's OK (until proven otherwise).
High quality women don't fritter away 2 hours of their life on a phone call. And they don't justify nor qualify themselves to anyone.
Reply 9
Original post by Dunnig Kruger
2 hours is too long.
It's better if you demonstrate that your time is valuable. You do this by saying good bye and hanging up at the 20 to 30 minute stage of a phone call with a guy.
If he wants to talk to you more, arrange to meet up in real life.
If he asks about your relationship history again, fob him off with your answer. By going off on a tangent.
Do not let him put you in a frame where you are justifying your lack of relationship experience.
If he asks you the same question a third time, you can call him out on his obsession with this question. Call him out in a humourous socially calibrated way.
The underlying mentality behind all this is that you are a high quality woman. You're OK. And he's OK (until proven otherwise).
High quality women don't fritter away 2 hours of their life on a phone call. And they don't justify nor qualify themselves to anyone.
It's better if you demonstrate that your time is valuable. You do this by saying good bye and hanging up at the 20 to 30 minute stage of a phone call with a guy.
If he wants to talk to you more, arrange to meet up in real life.
If he asks about your relationship history again, fob him off with your answer. By going off on a tangent.
Do not let him put you in a frame where you are justifying your lack of relationship experience.
If he asks you the same question a third time, you can call him out on his obsession with this question. Call him out in a humourous socially calibrated way.
The underlying mentality behind all this is that you are a high quality woman. You're OK. And he's OK (until proven otherwise).
High quality women don't fritter away 2 hours of their life on a phone call. And they don't justify nor qualify themselves to anyone.
Lolll😭😭😭 im so cooked now
But he is actually in my country atm and we met there and after i went for studies, we started to text, so i think its ok that we have 2 hour calls?
Thank you🙏🏻 what else should i know about this talking stage?
Reply 10
There's loads that you should know about this talking stage. It would take a book or two to cover it properly.
But don't worry if you're not perfect. Or are a long way from perfect. No reasonable person expects anyone to be good at anything, the first time they do it.
But don't worry if you're not perfect. Or are a long way from perfect. No reasonable person expects anyone to be good at anything, the first time they do it.
Reply 11
Original post by Anonymous
How did you understand that its the right person?
Because we were friends first so I knew exactly what they were like. I knew what they want from life and we aligned well.
Not saying I always recommend going that way th
Original post by Anonymous
Lolll😭😭😭 im so cooked now
But he is actually in my country atm and we met there and after i went for studies, we started to text, so i think its ok that we have 2 hour calls?
Thank you🙏🏻 what else should i know about this talking stage?
But he is actually in my country atm and we met there and after i went for studies, we started to text, so i think its ok that we have 2 hour calls?
Thank you🙏🏻 what else should i know about this talking stage?
It sounds like he doesn't live in the same country.
If so, long distance almost never works so find somebody else.
Original post by Rakas21
It sounds like he doesn't live in the same country.
If so, long distance almost never works so find somebody else.
If so, long distance almost never works so find somebody else.
Long distance can, and does, work if you understand how to manage it. Speaking from personal experience.
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