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bi panic!!

for quite a few years now, i have been openly bisexual, and for context, i broke up with my long term girlfriend around a year and a half ago now. but I've only just considered..am I still bisexual?

I find men attractive, period. I've had male relationships before, and could see myself in one again. however, I've been thinking, and don't think I could see myself in another wlw relationship with anyone other than my ex, which i doubt will happen, despite us being (not relatively close) friends.

but then, i am still sexually attracted to women, and am quite unsure if this classifies me as bisexual still, even if i don't find the prospect of dating any women interesting? i guess, ultimately, it is up for me to decide, but as someone who is very "by the book", i find it difficult to come up with an overall verdict. and I suppose it also sounds pretty silly, being into women for years, only to say one day "i think i might be straight after all?".

please help!! any support would be highly appreciated 🥲

Reply 1

sppm726

I used to only (well — the majority of the time — there were exceptions) find women online physically attractive, and men, in person, attractive, but now it’s swapped, and all the women at uni are hot af, and all the men aren’t worth saying hi to.

Also attraction fluctuates. There’s been times I thought I could be straight or lesbian, especially after a ton of bi influencers, who helped me feel comfortable, came out as lesbian, but I honestly can’t see a better label to fit me (even if I’m *technically* “Omnisexual Panromantic” — I lived on gay insta through Covid 🙈).

(edited 1 month ago)

Reply 2

anosmianAcrimony

You can label yourself however you choose and there are no wrong answers. But I think a lot of people would agree that if you're sexually attracted to men and to women, you're bisexual regardless of whether you actually are dating or would date people of any gender.

To give some more examples, a bisexual woman who marries a man is still bisexual; a bisexual person who lives in an ultra-conservative country and acts straight their whole life is still bisexual.

Reply 3

anosmianAcrimony

There's no need to panic at any rate. It's completely fine to be uncertain about this. In fact, more generally it can be more rewarding to go through life a little uncertain about it - in a mindset of growth and exploration.

Reply 4

Foxehh

You're still exploring yourself and what you do/don't like. A lot of people put a lot of pressure on themselves to have it "all figured out" but you're not there yet, and that's fine. Sometimes putting labels on yourself can be unhelpful and limiting when you're simply unsure.