Worried about son in 1st year of uni
Hi all
I am rather worried about my sons finances.
He moved out of our home 5 miles away to go to uni.
He really enjoys student life but I think he is struggling but just wont say. I've offered him money numerous times and made him aware his late nanny had opened a savings account for him while she was still alive.
With the cost of living crisis, I know things wont be cheap.He is trying to find a part time job at at moment but no joy. He did have a PT job before prior to uni but he left it. i just don't think the savings he has got from that are gonna last forever.
With him going into second year later this autumn hes looking to house share with friends but is asking for around £400 deposit (which really should be refundable but I heard some landlords don't refund that despite the property is ok/not damaged). I don't want him to be conned and I don't want the money that nanny had worked so hard to earn for him to be wasted in a flash. Of course Id help him with the deposit when the time comes.
I'm worried for my son. Any advice appreciated.
Jenny
I am rather worried about my sons finances.
He moved out of our home 5 miles away to go to uni.
He really enjoys student life but I think he is struggling but just wont say. I've offered him money numerous times and made him aware his late nanny had opened a savings account for him while she was still alive.
With the cost of living crisis, I know things wont be cheap.He is trying to find a part time job at at moment but no joy. He did have a PT job before prior to uni but he left it. i just don't think the savings he has got from that are gonna last forever.
With him going into second year later this autumn hes looking to house share with friends but is asking for around £400 deposit (which really should be refundable but I heard some landlords don't refund that despite the property is ok/not damaged). I don't want him to be conned and I don't want the money that nanny had worked so hard to earn for him to be wasted in a flash. Of course Id help him with the deposit when the time comes.
I'm worried for my son. Any advice appreciated.
Jenny
Original post
by Jenny8022Hi all
I am rather worried about my sons finances.
He moved out of our home 5 miles away to go to uni.
He really enjoys student life but I think he is struggling but just wont say. I've offered him money numerous times and made him aware his late nanny had opened a savings account for him while she was still alive.
With the cost of living crisis, I know things wont be cheap.He is trying to find a part time job at at moment but no joy. He did have a PT job before prior to uni but he left it. i just don't think the savings he has got from that are gonna last forever.
With him going into second year later this autumn hes looking to house share with friends but is asking for around £400 deposit (which really should be refundable but I heard some landlords don't refund that despite the property is ok/not damaged). I don't want him to be conned and I don't want the money that nanny had worked so hard to earn for him to be wasted in a flash. Of course Id help him with the deposit when the time comes.
I'm worried for my son. Any advice appreciated.
Jenny
I am rather worried about my sons finances.
He moved out of our home 5 miles away to go to uni.
He really enjoys student life but I think he is struggling but just wont say. I've offered him money numerous times and made him aware his late nanny had opened a savings account for him while she was still alive.
With the cost of living crisis, I know things wont be cheap.He is trying to find a part time job at at moment but no joy. He did have a PT job before prior to uni but he left it. i just don't think the savings he has got from that are gonna last forever.
With him going into second year later this autumn hes looking to house share with friends but is asking for around £400 deposit (which really should be refundable but I heard some landlords don't refund that despite the property is ok/not damaged). I don't want him to be conned and I don't want the money that nanny had worked so hard to earn for him to be wasted in a flash. Of course Id help him with the deposit when the time comes.
I'm worried for my son. Any advice appreciated.
Jenny
He's trying to be independent, and to live within his means. He knows that you're there is he needs it, and that there a savings account if he needs that too.
I'd say let him try to get by on his own. If he needs money, he knows how to contact you!
Reply 2
You have clearly made him aware you will support him. If he wants your help, he will ask.
Reply 3
Original post
by Jenny8022Hi all
I am rather worried about my sons finances.
He moved out of our home 5 miles away to go to uni.
He really enjoys student life but I think he is struggling but just wont say. I've offered him money numerous times and made him aware his late nanny had opened a savings account for him while she was still alive.
With the cost of living crisis, I know things wont be cheap.He is trying to find a part time job at at moment but no joy. He did have a PT job before prior to uni but he left it. i just don't think the savings he has got from that are gonna last forever.
With him going into second year later this autumn hes looking to house share with friends but is asking for around £400 deposit (which really should be refundable but I heard some landlords don't refund that despite the property is ok/not damaged). I don't want him to be conned and I don't want the money that nanny had worked so hard to earn for him to be wasted in a flash. Of course Id help him with the deposit when the time comes.
I'm worried for my son. Any advice appreciated.
Jenny
I am rather worried about my sons finances.
He moved out of our home 5 miles away to go to uni.
He really enjoys student life but I think he is struggling but just wont say. I've offered him money numerous times and made him aware his late nanny had opened a savings account for him while she was still alive.
With the cost of living crisis, I know things wont be cheap.He is trying to find a part time job at at moment but no joy. He did have a PT job before prior to uni but he left it. i just don't think the savings he has got from that are gonna last forever.
With him going into second year later this autumn hes looking to house share with friends but is asking for around £400 deposit (which really should be refundable but I heard some landlords don't refund that despite the property is ok/not damaged). I don't want him to be conned and I don't want the money that nanny had worked so hard to earn for him to be wasted in a flash. Of course Id help him with the deposit when the time comes.
I'm worried for my son. Any advice appreciated.
Jenny
Hi @Jenny8022
I would recommend that he takes lots of pictures of the house when he moves in. Before I moved into my student house with my housemates we took pictures of any damage to the house or issues with it. Then we reported this to our landlord / estate agent straight away so that they had a record of it being there prior to us moving in. Additionally, make sure that the inventory is accurate before signing it. Both of these things should hopefully help him to get his deposit back.
Hope that helps!
Sophie.
BCU Student Rep.
Reply 4
Your son has turned into a young man. It's time to let him decide on his own.
Parents will always worry. You did exceptionally well by not interfering and letting him know you are always there to back up. Thumbs up to a great mum.
Let him know you always want to hear from him. But just listen, not to comment. If you really want to advise, share the story/experience you "heard from your friends" at a later conversation.
Parents will always worry. You did exceptionally well by not interfering and letting him know you are always there to back up. Thumbs up to a great mum.
Let him know you always want to hear from him. But just listen, not to comment. If you really want to advise, share the story/experience you "heard from your friends" at a later conversation.
I think you're essentially doing the right thing of making sure he's aware he has a support system available - but as above he seems to be trying to sort things out for himself, and so I think just making him aware that if there's some major financial emergency he can come to you is sufficient.
In terms of the deposit realistically while renting keeping any part of the deposit should be seen as a windfall rather than a guarantee. Particularly in shared accommodation where the deposit may also cover shared areas where there could be damage not caused by him, there's really no guarantee of getting all or any of it back. That said there are mechanisms to challenge unreasonable deductions to the deposit.
Otherwise if he's actively looking for work, you can try and help by offering to e.g. review CVs, practice interviews or similar with him if needed. I'd avoid sending job listings unless he's asked you to keep an eye out though (as that might feel like you're pressuring him to get a job), and focus on the other stuff you can do for when/if he is looking.
In terms of the deposit realistically while renting keeping any part of the deposit should be seen as a windfall rather than a guarantee. Particularly in shared accommodation where the deposit may also cover shared areas where there could be damage not caused by him, there's really no guarantee of getting all or any of it back. That said there are mechanisms to challenge unreasonable deductions to the deposit.
Otherwise if he's actively looking for work, you can try and help by offering to e.g. review CVs, practice interviews or similar with him if needed. I'd avoid sending job listings unless he's asked you to keep an eye out though (as that might feel like you're pressuring him to get a job), and focus on the other stuff you can do for when/if he is looking.
Reply 6
Original post
by BCU Student RepHi @Jenny8022
I would recommend that he takes lots of pictures of the house when he moves in. Before I moved into my student house with my housemates we took pictures of any damage to the house or issues with it. Then we reported this to our landlord / estate agent straight away so that they had a record of it being there prior to us moving in. Additionally, make sure that the inventory is accurate before signing it. Both of these things should hopefully help him to get his deposit back.
Hope that helps!
Sophie.
BCU Student Rep.
I would recommend that he takes lots of pictures of the house when he moves in. Before I moved into my student house with my housemates we took pictures of any damage to the house or issues with it. Then we reported this to our landlord / estate agent straight away so that they had a record of it being there prior to us moving in. Additionally, make sure that the inventory is accurate before signing it. Both of these things should hopefully help him to get his deposit back.
Hope that helps!
Sophie.
BCU Student Rep.
Thanks for this - I will pass it on to my daughter.
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