Am I wrong?
A while back my mum asked me to use my name to lease a car and my husband said like I can’t do that because it can affect my credit score bla bla and now my husband is asking me if he can use my name. I said no because I want a car (I don’t but I just said it) and to be honest I can’t say no to my mum and yes to him I just said he doesn’t think about me someone who doesn’t have a car and is using my sisters. Is this wrong of me?
Reply 1
20
Yes, it is wrong of you on every level. It doesn't matter if it's your Mum request or anyone else. Your credit ratings are yours. Your financial affairs are yours. If your Mum writes the car off and can't keep up with the payments whose credit ratings plummet? Presuming you never want a mortgage or a loan? Why are you allowing these people to potentially mess up your life?
Are you always going along with what your family tell you to do? You are being a convenient doormat. The more you assist them with their failures and be that doormat, the more they will come back for more and potentially wreck your life too?
I presume you are an adult? Take stance and say 'No' and stick to it.
If you allow your name to be used to obtain finance on any goods you did not sign for it is called deception (and fraud)
If they are so successful in life why do you think they come crawling to you?
Are you always going along with what your family tell you to do? You are being a convenient doormat. The more you assist them with their failures and be that doormat, the more they will come back for more and potentially wreck your life too?
I presume you are an adult? Take stance and say 'No' and stick to it.
If you allow your name to be used to obtain finance on any goods you did not sign for it is called deception (and fraud)
If they are so successful in life why do you think they come crawling to you?
Reply 2
Original post
by MuttlyYes, it is wrong of you on every level. It doesn't matter if it's your Mum request or anyone else. Your credit ratings are yours. Your financial affairs are yours. If your Mum writes the car off and can't keep up with the payments whose credit ratings plummet? Presuming you never want a mortgage or a loan? Why are you allowing these people to potentially mess up your life?
Are you always going along with what your family tell you to do? You are being a convenient doormat. The more you assist them with their failures and be that doormat, the more they will come back for more and potentially wreck your life too?
I presume you are an adult? Take stance and say 'No' and stick to it.
If you allow your name to be used to obtain finance on any goods you did not sign for it is called deception (and fraud)
If they are so successful in life why do you think they come crawling to you?
Are you always going along with what your family tell you to do? You are being a convenient doormat. The more you assist them with their failures and be that doormat, the more they will come back for more and potentially wreck your life too?
I presume you are an adult? Take stance and say 'No' and stick to it.
If you allow your name to be used to obtain finance on any goods you did not sign for it is called deception (and fraud)
If they are so successful in life why do you think they come crawling to you?
I know I should say no and I have. I just want the best for myself and I feel like nobody wants that for me and now I’m being seen as selfish and someone they can’t rely on
Reply 3
20
Original post
by AnonymousI know I should say no and I have. I just want the best for myself and I feel like nobody wants that for me and now I’m being seen as selfish and someone they can’t rely on
In this life no one will look after your interests. You have to do that for yourself and make sure you put yourself first. it takes courage and a lot of stress to do that if you are not used to it. Search out help at Uni. Research answers to any issues you have. Start today and build your resolve to make tomorrow different. Get support from trusted friends away from family.
Wear the 'selfish' label with pride. It is people close to you not wanting to you to change because they could always rely on you to be manipulated and used. They get cross because that used to work to get you to do what they wanted, so they try to undermine you by calling you selfish. It sounds like they do not have your best interests at heart. Rely on yourself, trust your decisions and learn how to do this. Do ask at Uni for any welfare support or look at the 'Mind' website for extra help and on finding self confidence. Consider if you are being inappropriately coerced or financially abused? Talk to someone in an independent confidential conversation if you think you are. Learn to 'shrug' if others don't like your decisions (as long as you have carefully researched them and thought them through) Don't sweat the small stuff. Own your own well thought out decisions. You have a lifetime ahead of you and plenty of time to practice. Above all celebrate small successes and keep smiling.
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