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Rejecting my date for being a virgin in 2025

So I’m a girl of 20 who’s been talking to a 23 year old guy for the last 7 months. He’s a great guy who’s friendly and has great morals. He even asked me to be his valentines date which I said yes to. However, I learnt from someone who knows him that he’s never had a girlfriend, never been on a single date, and is still a virgin. I heard that’s he’s insecure about it and feels inferior to people his age as they’ve had the experience but he hasn’t had luck. He’s friendly and all, but my mates say that if a guy at that age has never had any romantic or sexual experience, he’s not a real man and I should cut off all contact with him immediately as he’s a red flag. Am I correct in going ahead to cut him out of my life for that?

Reply 1

Dunnig Kruger

20

Your friends haven't got a clue.

There are far more important things about this guy than his lack of sexual experience.

Such as, for example, is he a normal, well adjusted guy?
What career path is he on?
How much do you enjoy each other's company when you're together?
Is he even tempered?
Does he handle stress and setbacks well?
Does he face down his fears?

Do not cut him off. Go on that date with him tomorrow. Enjoy the date. Keep going out with him as long as you enjoy going out with him.

Reply 2

CeeJayTee

2

As a wife of ten years and mother to three children, I would say that's not a red flag hun. That's a green flag. He's obviously keeping himself for the right one rather than sticking it in anyone. Take things slow and you never know, you might of found yourself one of the rare good guys xx

Reply 3

ALEreapp

21

What a strange thing to say… why should someone’s inexperience make them a red flag? You’ve been talking to him for 7 months and you haven’t met up once?! The fact my guy has stuck out that long should be testament to his character.
At 20 how many dates have you been on? Have many people have you slept with? How many boyfriends have you had? (Rhetorics idc your body count etc).

Social media has created this idea we need to be experienced so young which is crazy. So many people in their mid twenties are virgins and have very little experience because of this attitude!

Reply 4

AT_64

2

Original post

by Anonymous

So I’m a girl of 20 who’s been talking to a 23 year old guy for the last 7 months. He’s a great guy who’s friendly and has great morals. He even asked me to be his valentines date which I said yes to. However, I learnt from someone who knows him that he’s never had a girlfriend, never been on a single date, and is still a virgin. I heard that’s he’s insecure about it and feels inferior to people his age as they’ve had the experience but he hasn’t had luck. He’s friendly and all, but my mates say that if a guy at that age has never had any romantic or sexual experience, he’s not a real man and I should cut off all contact with him immediately as he’s a red flag. Am I correct in going ahead to cut him out of my life for that?

ur friends sound like knobs

Reply 5

StriderHort

21

Yeah your friends give awful advice, tell them I said so.

Reply 6

Alexa🌺

2

Original post

by StriderHort

Yeah your friends give awful advice, tell them I said so.

Agreed their just jealous

Reply 7

Surnia

20

contradiction (noun): a combination of statements, ideas, or features which are opposed to one another.

eg how can you complain he's got "great morals" then complain about him taking sex and relationships seriously? Why do you think he's a "great guy" then want to cut him off because your friends are ignorant little gossips?

I know who I'd be cutting off at this point; clue, not the guy.

Reply 8

Rakas21

21

Original post

by Anonymous

So I’m a girl of 20 who’s been talking to a 23 year old guy for the last 7 months. He’s a great guy who’s friendly and has great morals. He even asked me to be his valentines date which I said yes to. However, I learnt from someone who knows him that he’s never had a girlfriend, never been on a single date, and is still a virgin. I heard that’s he’s insecure about it and feels inferior to people his age as they’ve had the experience but he hasn’t had luck. He’s friendly and all, but my mates say that if a guy at that age has never had any romantic or sexual experience, he’s not a real man and I should cut off all contact with him immediately as he’s a red flag. Am I correct in going ahead to cut him out of my life for that?

This is quite amusing, your a walking advertisement for the ‘red pill’ type content regarding pre-selection.

What your friends are saying here is that pre-selection has not occurred and as such they view him as a potential mate who has something wrong with him. Other women must have rejected him for a reason.

However, the obvious logical inconsistency is that your essentially comparable to a firm advertising for a job but demanding experience despite the fact that no firm wants to be the one that takes that initial plunge and at one point had a man take that initial plunge with you.

My own opinions are..

1) No man would publicly admit to being insecure or considering himself inferior so your friends are almost certainly projecting their view of him.

2) Perhaps a male thing but I don’t care about pre-selection and would consider you weak if you rejected a man simply because of your friends opinion rather than your own (you’ve not really stated your personal opinion but saying yes to the date infers your opinion absent that of your friends was positive).

3) Provided he’s not lacking in size then sexual activity is very trainable and you can provide him a whole host of guides on how to pleasure a woman. In the grand scope of issues, I would consider this a low priority.

Reply 9

Zarek

21

Nonsense, show him the ropes and it’ll be fine

Reply 10

Old Skool Freak

20

Personally, I think this whole thing is fabricated. To me, it seems odd that a girl would cut someone off first for being a virgin at 23. (which is not that uncommon for either sex, these days... apparently lol). before seeking a wider opinion. Even weirder that she would seek confirmation she was right to finish with him AFTER she's done it all... especially if she's seeking a meaningful relationship (as opposed to a ONS or FB / FWB type arrangement).

Sounds like this whole thing has been written by an incel type, who wants to perpetuate the myth that if you're a guy who hasn't lost his virginity by his 20th birthday, then it's over for him.

(edited 1 year ago)

Reply 11

Anonymous #2

Original post

by Anonymous

So I’m a girl of 20 who’s been talking to a 23 year old guy for the last 7 months. He’s a great guy who’s friendly and has great morals. He even asked me to be his valentines date which I said yes to. However, I learnt from someone who knows him that he’s never had a girlfriend, never been on a single date, and is still a virgin. I heard that’s he’s insecure about it and feels inferior to people his age as they’ve had the experience but he hasn’t had luck. He’s friendly and all, but my mates say that if a guy at that age has never had any romantic or sexual experience, he’s not a real man and I should cut off all contact with him immediately as he’s a red flag. Am I correct in going ahead to cut him out of my life for that?

“I learnt from someone who knows him that he’s never had agirlfriend, never been on a single date, and is still a virgin.“

how do you know this person is telling the truth? imagine breaking up with a guy you actually like because someone made up a rumour. talk to him about it.

even if it is true he is literally 23. if he is a virgin it means he spent high school and uni doing important stuff rather than sleeping around. i'm not saying he didn’t do anything else but think about it.

Reply 12

Quady

20

Original post

by Anonymous

“I learnt from someone who knows him that he’s never had agirlfriend, never been on a single date, and is still a virgin.“
how do you know this person is telling the truth? imagine breaking up with a guy you actually like because someone made up a rumour. talk to him about it.
even if it is true he is literally 23. if he is a virgin it means he spent high school and uni doing important stuff rather than sleeping around. i'm not saying he didn’t do anything else but think about it.

This sounds sooooo 2026.

Reply 13

Goth Girl Mel

10

Original post

by Anonymous

So I’m a girl of 20 who’s been talking to a 23 year old guy for the last 7 months. He’s a great guy who’s friendly and has great morals. He even asked me to be his valentines date which I said yes to. However, I learnt from someone who knows him that he’s never had a girlfriend, never been on a single date, and is still a virgin. I heard that’s he’s insecure about it and feels inferior to people his age as they’ve had the experience but he hasn’t had luck. He’s friendly and all, but my mates say that if a guy at that age has never had any romantic or sexual experience, he’s not a real man and I should cut off all contact with him immediately as he’s a red flag. Am I correct in going ahead to cut him out of my life for that?

I hope he finds another girl, you deserve to be alone

Reply 14

Anonymous #2

Original post

by Quady

This sounds sooooo 2026.

huh

Reply 15

Old Skool Freak

20

Original post

by Anonymous

“I learnt from someone who knows him that he’s never had agirlfriend, never been on a single date, and is still a virgin.“
how do you know this person is telling the truth? imagine breaking up with a guy you actually like because someone made up a rumour. talk to him about it.
even if it is true he is literally 23. if he is a virgin it means he spent high school and uni doing important stuff rather than sleeping around. i'm not saying he didn’t do anything else but think about it.

Original post

by Goth Girl Mel

I hope he finds another girl, you deserve to be alone

Why are you wasting your time on this thread?

For starters, the thread is nearly a year old... and secondly, the last post (before it was resurrected) was from myself, calling out the user for being a troll. The OP didn't come back to defend themselves, so pretty much confirms the case.

Rejecting my date for being a virgin in 2025

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