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Feelings for friend I’m living with next year

I met this friend in November due to my other friend I’ve known since the start of uni needing another housemate- we’ve all been going out to get to know each other better before we move in August. There’s one that at first I had to interest in dating but before Christmas she tried to kiss me and I said it wasn’t a good idea because we’re living together. She’s kissed another friend we’re living with next year but it meant nothing so I realise maybe the kiss she said about before Christmas also meant nothing…

The problem is that from then on I’ve slowly developed a crush on her and now I think about her all the time and get jealous on nights out when she kisses anyone else which I know is ridiculous of me. I left early from the bar last night because I felt weird about not being able to tell her how I really feel- I’m thinking about not going on nights out with them for a while because I’m worried I will say something to her. I’ve already told a couple of friends I like her and they’ve said don’t tell her because they don’t want a couple in the house etc. and obviously if it goes wrong then it’ll be awkward.

Should I bottle up my feelings or say something? I genuinely can’t tell if she likes me back in that way or she’s just being a friend. She’s very touchy feely with me and always wants to play pool with me when we go out whilst the others do their own thing at the bar. That could just be my brain overthinking it. Another friend who thinks I should tell her said she looks at me when I’m not looking at her but idk if he’s just hyping me up.

Advice please :smile:)

Reply 1

Living with someone you fancy is usually a problem. If it doesn’t work out it leads to angst and jealousy. And if it does it can be uncomfortable for housemates and terrible if you split up. I would find out where you stand with her, it appears quite positive, and make another plan for living arrangements

Reply 2

Original post
by Anonymous
I met this friend in November due to my other friend I’ve known since the start of uni needing another housemate- we’ve all been going out to get to know each other better before we move in August. There’s one that at first I had to interest in dating but before Christmas she tried to kiss me and I said it wasn’t a good idea because we’re living together. She’s kissed another friend we’re living with next year but it meant nothing so I realise maybe the kiss she said about before Christmas also meant nothing…
The problem is that from then on I’ve slowly developed a crush on her and now I think about her all the time and get jealous on nights out when she kisses anyone else which I know is ridiculous of me. I left early from the bar last night because I felt weird about not being able to tell her how I really feel- I’m thinking about not going on nights out with them for a while because I’m worried I will say something to her. I’ve already told a couple of friends I like her and they’ve said don’t tell her because they don’t want a couple in the house etc. and obviously if it goes wrong then it’ll be awkward.
Should I bottle up my feelings or say something? I genuinely can’t tell if she likes me back in that way or she’s just being a friend. She’s very touchy feely with me and always wants to play pool with me when we go out whilst the others do their own thing at the bar. That could just be my brain overthinking it. Another friend who thinks I should tell her said she looks at me when I’m not looking at her but idk if he’s just hyping me up.
Advice please :smile:)

Life is far far too short. Go for it, and speak to her tell her how you feel. Honestly do not hesitate it as you may well regret all your life. She might end up being one you marry who knows.

Reply 3

Original post
by Anonymous
Life is far far too short. Go for it, and speak to her tell her how you feel. Honestly do not hesitate it as you may well regret all your life. She might end up being one you marry who knows.

and I you do, then in maybe 20 years post on here, "you were right" LOL.

Reply 4

Original post
by Anonymous
I met this friend in November due to my other friend I’ve known since the start of uni needing another housemate- we’ve all been going out to get to know each other better before we move in August. There’s one that at first I had to interest in dating but before Christmas she tried to kiss me and I said it wasn’t a good idea because we’re living together. She’s kissed another friend we’re living with next year but it meant nothing so I realise maybe the kiss she said about before Christmas also meant nothing…
The problem is that from then on I’ve slowly developed a crush on her and now I think about her all the time and get jealous on nights out when she kisses anyone else which I know is ridiculous of me. I left early from the bar last night because I felt weird about not being able to tell her how I really feel- I’m thinking about not going on nights out with them for a while because I’m worried I will say something to her. I’ve already told a couple of friends I like her and they’ve said don’t tell her because they don’t want a couple in the house etc. and obviously if it goes wrong then it’ll be awkward.
Should I bottle up my feelings or say something? I genuinely can’t tell if she likes me back in that way or she’s just being a friend. She’s very touchy feely with me and always wants to play pool with me when we go out whilst the others do their own thing at the bar. That could just be my brain overthinking it. Another friend who thinks I should tell her said she looks at me when I’m not looking at her but idk if he’s just hyping me up.
Advice please :smile:)


She seems to kiss a lot of people tbh

Reply 5

Original post
by Anonymous
She seems to kiss a lot of people tbh

Yeah I’m being put off tbh because her flat has a “chart” they keep score of who they’ve gotten with which is soooo off putting

Reply 6

Original post
by Anonymous
Yeah I’m being put off tbh because her flat has a “chart” they keep score of who they’ve gotten with which is soooo off putting


Yeah… that seems like BOP behaviour …. All these factors I would personally find someone else as it doesn’t seem like it would go well

Reply 7

Original post
by Anonymous
Yeah I’m being put off tbh because her flat has a “chart” they keep score of who they’ve gotten with which is soooo off putting

Toxic femininity.

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