whys this girl tryna steal my man
ok so basically theres this one girl who acc js ****es me off so much. during the start of me and my bfs rs, she was lowkey one of my closest friends and a sweet girl. Or so i thought. it didnt take me long to realise she was js using me to become close to my bf.
everytime me and my bf used to argue, and go through breakups, she would always comfort me and say 'oh its ok, im here for u' like any normal person would. however, it soon came to my attention that this girl was feeding my bf some random info ab me, mostly lies, to get him to end things w me.
This was when i stopped seeing her as a friend.
Its been a year and half now, she hasnt pulled anything dodgy. However, in the last couple days, ive heard rumours of her saying things like 'Me and (my bfs name) would have been such a cute couple if (my name) hadnt got in the way' and things like that just make me SO MAD. she also commented on how i 'stole' my bf away from her, since they were friends 'long before me' and would have dated if it 'wasnt for me.' another thing she said was she told people that my bf is a 'chill guy thats misunderstood.' I dont know why, but this simple phrase does not sit right with me AT ALL. multiple people have also said that she talks ab my bf as if shes still in love with him.
I told my bf that shes a massive threat and will do anything to tear us apart again, and i told him to completely ignore her. Him being the absolute angel that he is, respects my wishes and always comes and tells me if she does anything flirty/says anything weird.
A lot of people have told me to confront her, but i dont want to make it look like shes won. and im also a very very shy person: i cant confront people on the spot. all my classmates have said that they would back me 100% if we ever fought, since shes done this exact same thing with other couples too.
so sum it all up, her personality is extremely flirty and loves a little hint of male attention. especially guys that are already taken. how do i confront her, or shall i just leave it until she actually does something unforgettable?
everytime me and my bf used to argue, and go through breakups, she would always comfort me and say 'oh its ok, im here for u' like any normal person would. however, it soon came to my attention that this girl was feeding my bf some random info ab me, mostly lies, to get him to end things w me.
This was when i stopped seeing her as a friend.
Its been a year and half now, she hasnt pulled anything dodgy. However, in the last couple days, ive heard rumours of her saying things like 'Me and (my bfs name) would have been such a cute couple if (my name) hadnt got in the way' and things like that just make me SO MAD. she also commented on how i 'stole' my bf away from her, since they were friends 'long before me' and would have dated if it 'wasnt for me.' another thing she said was she told people that my bf is a 'chill guy thats misunderstood.' I dont know why, but this simple phrase does not sit right with me AT ALL. multiple people have also said that she talks ab my bf as if shes still in love with him.
I told my bf that shes a massive threat and will do anything to tear us apart again, and i told him to completely ignore her. Him being the absolute angel that he is, respects my wishes and always comes and tells me if she does anything flirty/says anything weird.
A lot of people have told me to confront her, but i dont want to make it look like shes won. and im also a very very shy person: i cant confront people on the spot. all my classmates have said that they would back me 100% if we ever fought, since shes done this exact same thing with other couples too.
so sum it all up, her personality is extremely flirty and loves a little hint of male attention. especially guys that are already taken. how do i confront her, or shall i just leave it until she actually does something unforgettable?
Reply 1
Original post by Anonymous
ok so basically theres this one girl who acc js ****es me off so much. during the start of me and my bfs rs, she was lowkey one of my closest friends and a sweet girl. Or so i thought. it didnt take me long to realise she was js using me to become close to my bf.
everytime me and my bf used to argue, and go through breakups, she would always comfort me and say 'oh its ok, im here for u' like any normal person would. however, it soon came to my attention that this girl was feeding my bf some random info ab me, mostly lies, to get him to end things w me.
This was when i stopped seeing her as a friend.
Its been a year and half now, she hasnt pulled anything dodgy. However, in the last couple days, ive heard rumours of her saying things like 'Me and (my bfs name) would have been such a cute couple if (my name) hadnt got in the way' and things like that just make me SO MAD. she also commented on how i 'stole' my bf away from her, since they were friends 'long before me' and would have dated if it 'wasnt for me.' another thing she said was she told people that my bf is a 'chill guy thats misunderstood.' I dont know why, but this simple phrase does not sit right with me AT ALL. multiple people have also said that she talks ab my bf as if shes still in love with him.
I told my bf that shes a massive threat and will do anything to tear us apart again, and i told him to completely ignore her. Him being the absolute angel that he is, respects my wishes and always comes and tells me if she does anything flirty/says anything weird.
A lot of people have told me to confront her, but i dont want to make it look like shes won. and im also a very very shy person: i cant confront people on the spot. all my classmates have said that they would back me 100% if we ever fought, since shes done this exact same thing with other couples too.
so sum it all up, her personality is extremely flirty and loves a little hint of male attention. especially guys that are already taken. how do i confront her, or shall i just leave it until she actually does something unforgettable?
everytime me and my bf used to argue, and go through breakups, she would always comfort me and say 'oh its ok, im here for u' like any normal person would. however, it soon came to my attention that this girl was feeding my bf some random info ab me, mostly lies, to get him to end things w me.
This was when i stopped seeing her as a friend.
Its been a year and half now, she hasnt pulled anything dodgy. However, in the last couple days, ive heard rumours of her saying things like 'Me and (my bfs name) would have been such a cute couple if (my name) hadnt got in the way' and things like that just make me SO MAD. she also commented on how i 'stole' my bf away from her, since they were friends 'long before me' and would have dated if it 'wasnt for me.' another thing she said was she told people that my bf is a 'chill guy thats misunderstood.' I dont know why, but this simple phrase does not sit right with me AT ALL. multiple people have also said that she talks ab my bf as if shes still in love with him.
I told my bf that shes a massive threat and will do anything to tear us apart again, and i told him to completely ignore her. Him being the absolute angel that he is, respects my wishes and always comes and tells me if she does anything flirty/says anything weird.
A lot of people have told me to confront her, but i dont want to make it look like shes won. and im also a very very shy person: i cant confront people on the spot. all my classmates have said that they would back me 100% if we ever fought, since shes done this exact same thing with other couples too.
so sum it all up, her personality is extremely flirty and loves a little hint of male attention. especially guys that are already taken. how do i confront her, or shall i just leave it until she actually does something unforgettable?
She's horrible let her be, if your bf rly understands and loves you he won't let a pathetic girl like that tear you guys apart. If it's that easy for y'all to be torn apart maybe question the relationship instead of the girl because u can't block a girl irl LOL
Reply 2
In that situation, my general policy is to do what I can to make my friend and my sexual partner an item.
Which involves doing it in a clever, subtle, socially calibrated way. Giving them the opportunity to become a couple. Not standing in their way.
Why? Because getting a new sexual partner is enjoyable and reasonably easy and there's an abundance of wonderful people out there. So it's fine if I'm used as a stepping stone and help out two other people - at the expense of my short-term romantic pleasure.
And because I'd feel like Gollum from Lord of the Rings if I were to get possessive. My Precious and all that.
And people aren't possessions. They're people.
Also, if my sexual partner truly was right for me, my cunning plan wouldn't work. It would make my partner more attracted to me because they'd feel that they're not trapped by me, and that I'm not clingy, needy, desperate, jealous, possessive.
For the lies about me from the friend, it would depend on the lies and the context. My default mode would be to agree and exaggerate the lies about me. To have a good laugh about them.
In your exact situation I'd aim to have a positive chat with my friend and establish why she didn't become an item with him. What with her knowing him for ages. Why didn't she shoot her shot? Or if she did, how did it fail and why does she think it failed? And what could she do to win him now?
I'd be on the look-out for men to introduce to her, in case he is not interested in her.
Which involves doing it in a clever, subtle, socially calibrated way. Giving them the opportunity to become a couple. Not standing in their way.
Why? Because getting a new sexual partner is enjoyable and reasonably easy and there's an abundance of wonderful people out there. So it's fine if I'm used as a stepping stone and help out two other people - at the expense of my short-term romantic pleasure.
And because I'd feel like Gollum from Lord of the Rings if I were to get possessive. My Precious and all that.
And people aren't possessions. They're people.
Also, if my sexual partner truly was right for me, my cunning plan wouldn't work. It would make my partner more attracted to me because they'd feel that they're not trapped by me, and that I'm not clingy, needy, desperate, jealous, possessive.
For the lies about me from the friend, it would depend on the lies and the context. My default mode would be to agree and exaggerate the lies about me. To have a good laugh about them.
In your exact situation I'd aim to have a positive chat with my friend and establish why she didn't become an item with him. What with her knowing him for ages. Why didn't she shoot her shot? Or if she did, how did it fail and why does she think it failed? And what could she do to win him now?
I'd be on the look-out for men to introduce to her, in case he is not interested in her.
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