First date Advice

Just went on a date finally with a guy I've been crushing on for ages lol this was the fourth attempt because his kept cancelling on me before after saying he liked me over and over! He tried to contact me the night before to see if we could rearrange the date again I said no or he could just do one!! He showed up poorly presented, smelt of alcohol (mouth wash maybe, didn't want to ask) and when I asked were he was taking me on the date ( He asked me out so??) he said he had no clue maybe McDonald's, I was unresponsive, didn't want to come across as spoilt or needy but McDonald's to me just seems cheap for a first date unless one is not intenting to make the effort! BTW he has 2 weeks to arrange something because I got sick!
Long story short I continued with the date but felt I was the one initiating everything! Is this a bad sign? Am I expecting to much for a man to show up well dressed clean looking and to no were he taking me on a Date? Any thoughts?? We're both 22

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

Original post by Jess0093

Just went on a date finally with a guy I've been crushing on for ages lol this was the fourth attempt because his kept cancelling on me before after saying he liked me over and over! He tried to contact me the night before to see if we could rearrange the date again I said no or he could just do one!! He showed up poorly presented, smelt of alcohol (mouth wash maybe, didn't want to ask) and when I asked were he was taking me on the date ( He asked me out so??) he said he had no clue maybe McDonald's, I was unresponsive, didn't want to come across as spoilt or needy but McDonald's to me just seems cheap for a first date unless one is not intenting to make the effort! BTW he has 2 weeks to arrange something because I got sick!
Long story short I continued with the date but felt I was the one initiating everything! Is this a bad sign? Am I expecting to much for a man to show up well dressed clean looking and to no were he taking me on a Date? Any thoughts?? We're both 22

I don’t think you’re expecting too much at all, I think he clearly hadn’t prepared for the date and to show up in a state like that is crazy. I would say he could have something going on which has been distracting him or that has made him act like that so if you can maybe try and ask but you don’t have to. And if there’s something going on that is making him act that way, he might not be ready for a proper relationship just yet. Just think about if you were together and that’s how every date night went then if that’s something you could see yourself going through with. x

Reply 2

Dunnig Kruger

18

I was expecting you to say "We're both 14". Not 22. Because that's the level of maturity on display by him.

Why were you crushing on him? Is it because he's good looking? If so, this is a lesson on biscuit tin men. The sort of guys that come in pretty boxes and when you open them up, there's nothing inside.
Big disappointment, but that's the way things go.

With more experience, you'll get better at picking out the Matryoshka Men. The Russian Dolls. When you open them up there's something of substance inside. Open that up and there's more of substance. And so on, right down to the inner core.

If he's not even good looking, why did you crush on him? Did he seem sweet and nice?

I'd say give this man 2 more chances. Arrange a 2nd date. And at that date tell him what you're looking for in a man. Try to do it in a positive / humourous / diplomatic / vulnerable / open / honest / clever way.
You're not expecting perfection. But you don't want to take on the Mother Role.
On the 3rd date, if you get that far, see if he's taken anything you said on board? Any improvements at all?

In the meantime feel free to meet and go on dates with other men.

McD's is fine as long as he was great company. Good conversation. Him in a rock solid good mood. His good mood rubbing off on you. Etc.

Reply 3

Zarek

21

Why do you fancy him?? Get rid

Reply 4

Anonymous #2

Original post by Jess0093

Just went on a date finally with a guy I've been crushing on for ages lol this was the fourth attempt because his kept cancelling on me before after saying he liked me over and over! He tried to contact me the night before to see if we could rearrange the date again I said no or he could just do one!! He showed up poorly presented, smelt of alcohol (mouth wash maybe, didn't want to ask) and when I asked were he was taking me on the date ( He asked me out so??) he said he had no clue maybe McDonald's, I was unresponsive, didn't want to come across as spoilt or needy but McDonald's to me just seems cheap for a first date unless one is not intenting to make the effort! BTW he has 2 weeks to arrange something because I got sick!
Long story short I continued with the date but felt I was the one initiating everything! Is this a bad sign? Am I expecting to much for a man to show up well dressed clean looking and to no were he taking me on a Date? Any thoughts?? We're both 22

First red flag him cancelling on u second looking poorly presented also McDonalds for a first date as a 22 year old???? Not to mention him looking poorly yeah all the red flags are there please dont lower ur standards ever again you deserve so much better he clearly doesnt care on making a good impression

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