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What should I do ? Is this harmless ?

My current boyfriend's ex fling followed him on instagram and hours later he requested to follow her back. They had a short relationship that lasted 3 months and ended last year February 2024... They hooked up lastly in June 2024. The last time they spoked was august of last year which was lots of paragraphs back and forth explaining feeling.

They consisted of him asking her why she blocked him and how he still had feelings for her but didnt want a relationship just a FWB. After that She ended up blocking him for 6 months until now.

This was all before me.

Should I be concerned he also watched all her stories ? Why did he follow her back if he doesn't want her ?

Reply 1

StriderHort

I'm normally all for people being able to stay friends with exes.... but this does sound a bit suss, like his main interest here is unrequited feelings or lust, rather than moving on to a genuine friendship.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by StriderHort

Really what part sounds suss

Reply 3

stargirl88

Original post by Emilly676

My current boyfriend's ex fling followed him on instagram and hours later he requested to follow her back. They had a short relationship that lasted 3 months and ended last year February 2024... They hooked up lastly in June 2024. The last time they spoked was august of last year which was lots of paragraphs back and forth explaining feeling.
They consisted of him asking her why she blocked him and how he still had feelings for her but didnt want a relationship just a FWB. After that She ended up blocking him for 6 months until now.
This was all before me.
Should I be concerned he also watched all her stories ? Why did he follow her back if he doesn't want her ?

In my opinion, it looks like there may still be some unresolved feelings towards his ex. I think express your thoughts but if he starts acting defensive and not directly answering your questions then I'd end it.

Reply 4

Zarek

Feels like it may be unfinished business. But the best way to hold on to a partner is to be totally non-possessive. So I would either dump him if he’s being unacceptably disrespectful or self confidently pay no attention to it

Reply 5

Rakas21

Original post by Emilly676

My current boyfriend's ex fling followed him on instagram and hours later he requested to follow her back. They had a short relationship that lasted 3 months and ended last year February 2024... They hooked up lastly in June 2024. The last time they spoked was august of last year which was lots of paragraphs back and forth explaining feeling.
They consisted of him asking her why she blocked him and how he still had feelings for her but didnt want a relationship just a FWB. After that She ended up blocking him for 6 months until now.
This was all before me.
Should I be concerned he also watched all her stories ? Why did he follow her back if he doesn't want her ?

You have the right to set boundaries to your relationship and instruct him to remove women he’s slept with. If he refuses, it’s your choice as to whether you leave him or not.

I don’t think there’s much issue but I also wouldn’t be keen on permitting it.

Reply 6

Sal Oasis

Original post by Emilly676

My current boyfriend's ex fling followed him on instagram and hours later he requested to follow her back. They had a short relationship that lasted 3 months and ended last year February 2024... They hooked up lastly in June 2024. The last time they spoked was august of last year which was lots of paragraphs back and forth explaining feeling.
They consisted of him asking her why she blocked him and how he still had feelings for her but didnt want a relationship just a FWB. After that She ended up blocking him for 6 months until now.
This was all before me.
Should I be concerned he also watched all her stories ? Why did he follow her back if he doesn't want her ?

Very suspicious this, he could easily be trying to get back in there with her

Reply 7

Kathy89

It depends on how you feel about it.
Does it hurt you in any way?
Looks he has feelings for her but also sounds like you two talk about it and he lets you know about it. Talk about your feelings with him if it bothers you.

Personally I don't think it is wrong to be in contact with your ex, but it all depends on how you feel. Honesty on both sides is the key.

Reply 8

StriderHort

Original post by Anonymous

Really what part sounds suss

Their history is a recent one, their last conversations were emotionally charged and his intent was openly to keep something going, so what's changed?

If I was in his shoes, I likely wouldn't get back in touch with an ex in this manner when I was already supposed to have moved on with someone else. But I like to think I'd be honest with myself about why I wanted to get back in contact with someone. If I was in your shoes I'd be very suspicious that he wasn't really willing to move on.