cold approach doesnt work
so recently theres been more men out there going up to random strangers and trying to ask them out for dates. alot of these guys will stand around parks, and wait for attractive strangers to show up and then bombard them with pick up lines. the men usually go out there a few times a week, and for several hours at a time. they try to set quotas for themselves, ie approach 10 strangers a day.
theres alot of money to be made from this. alot of pick up artists are exploiting desperate guys to get money from them to teach them how to get dates, but actually, if cold approach actually worked, wouldnt everyone be doing it? theres a reason why most men do not do this. most of the guys l know who date never cold approach, and most of the guys who cold approach never date
out of the guys l know who cold approach, none of them have ever gotten as much as a telephone call back
theres alot of money to be made from this. alot of pick up artists are exploiting desperate guys to get money from them to teach them how to get dates, but actually, if cold approach actually worked, wouldnt everyone be doing it? theres a reason why most men do not do this. most of the guys l know who date never cold approach, and most of the guys who cold approach never date
out of the guys l know who cold approach, none of them have ever gotten as much as a telephone call back
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Reply 1
Cold approach when done right works fantastically well.
When done wrong, all bets are off.
The fact that most guys don't cold approach and that they rely on social circle is good news for anyone that gets competent at cold approach. As they will smash it out the park.
For someone that wants to get good at Game quickly, and that has some spare cash, getting professional coaching from a top coach makes a lot of sense. In the same way that getting a professional driving instructor makes sense for a lot of people wanting to learn to drive.
There's a lot of advice and guidance that can be gotten for free or nearly free.
I know people that have gotten girlfriends from cold approach. And they're a long way from being pro-level pick up artists. What they do have is the right sort of inner world. So that they have also had success from online / social circle.
Most people never start their own business. There's a lot to be said for doing that instead of being a wage slave your entire working life.
People are emotional beings. Fear controls a lot of men. When it comes to cold approach, public speaking, starting a business, moving to a more prosperous country.
Facing down your fears is a good habit in order to have a great life.
I don't get the criticising of men going out trying to do Cold Approach. They are - at least - being proactive in their lives. They are trying to improve their lives.
When done wrong, all bets are off.
The fact that most guys don't cold approach and that they rely on social circle is good news for anyone that gets competent at cold approach. As they will smash it out the park.
For someone that wants to get good at Game quickly, and that has some spare cash, getting professional coaching from a top coach makes a lot of sense. In the same way that getting a professional driving instructor makes sense for a lot of people wanting to learn to drive.
There's a lot of advice and guidance that can be gotten for free or nearly free.
I know people that have gotten girlfriends from cold approach. And they're a long way from being pro-level pick up artists. What they do have is the right sort of inner world. So that they have also had success from online / social circle.
Most people never start their own business. There's a lot to be said for doing that instead of being a wage slave your entire working life.
People are emotional beings. Fear controls a lot of men. When it comes to cold approach, public speaking, starting a business, moving to a more prosperous country.
Facing down your fears is a good habit in order to have a great life.
I don't get the criticising of men going out trying to do Cold Approach. They are - at least - being proactive in their lives. They are trying to improve their lives.
It’s a bad strategy in everyday public situations. Presumptuous and inappropriate. Sure, if you’re good looking and have a magnetic personality you might get better reactions and some luck. But even then you probably quite often faze the person. Stick to dating contexts and build up flirting
Reply 3
Bro you're like a decade out of date...
Original post by Anonymous
so recently theres been more men out there going up to random strangers and trying to ask them out for dates. alot of these guys will stand around parks, and wait for attractive strangers to show up and then bombard them with pick up lines. the men usually go out there a few times a week, and for several hours at a time. they try to set quotas for themselves, ie approach 10 strangers a day.
theres alot of money to be made from this. alot of pick up artists are exploiting desperate guys to get money from them to teach them how to get dates, but actually, if cold approach actually worked, wouldnt everyone be doing it? theres a reason why most men do not do this. most of the guys l know who date never cold approach, and most of the guys who cold approach never date
out of the guys l know who cold approach, none of them have ever gotten as much as a telephone call back
theres alot of money to be made from this. alot of pick up artists are exploiting desperate guys to get money from them to teach them how to get dates, but actually, if cold approach actually worked, wouldnt everyone be doing it? theres a reason why most men do not do this. most of the guys l know who date never cold approach, and most of the guys who cold approach never date
out of the guys l know who cold approach, none of them have ever gotten as much as a telephone call back
It works to a small degree, men and women meet in a variety of situations including real life.
The primary benefit to ‘cold approach’ is actually to overcome fear of rejection. Women may not realise it, but this is the most significant barrier to men going for what they want.
Women typically dislike the idea that a man may manipulate them (whether they will or not) which is why ‘pick up’ is looked down upon albeit they typically ignore the fact that men feel the need to use such methodology because women are flooded via online dating and are far less receptive to a normal guy.
(edited 2 months ago)
Original post by Ciel.
so harassing women in public doesn't work, wow, imagine...
I disagree that all cold approaches are harassment. There are definitely instances where it is, but even if it isn't it doesn't guarantee success. I don't get much attention, but even if I was cold approached by someone I wouldn't be particularly interested in them. I need to know someone first to even consider them.
Reply 7
Original post by Zarek
It’s a bad strategy in everyday public situations. Presumptuous and inappropriate. Sure, if you’re good looking and have a magnetic personality you might get better reactions and some luck. But even then you probably quite often faze the person. Stick to dating contexts and build up flirting
lf you were good looking and had a good personality why would you need to circle around a park like a shark in hopes of finding a date. lt's usually men with flawed personalities who arent attracting anyone who need to cold approach. l think it's a bit like a mechanic right. lf you're a good mechanic, customers will seek you out, but if youre a bad mechanic, you're kind of driving around car parks asking motorists if they need work done on their car
Reply 8
Original post by Doomotron
I disagree that all cold approaches are harassment. There are definitely instances where it is, but even if it isn't it doesn't guarantee success. I don't get much attention, but even if I was cold approached by someone I wouldn't be particularly interested in them. I need to know someone first to even consider them.
l just wanted to throw out a few things that pick up artists will say. "l saw you from over there and had to come meet you". "do you like coffee? let me take you out for some coffee". "do you have a boyfriend". "where'd you get that? all that beauty". "are you single".
Original post by Anonymous
lf you were good looking and had a good personality why would you need to circle around a park like a shark in hopes of finding a date. lt's usually men with flawed personalities who arent attracting anyone who need to cold approach. l think it's a bit like a mechanic right. lf you're a good mechanic, customers will seek you out, but if youre a bad mechanic, you're kind of driving around car parks asking motorists if they need work done on their car
Exactly so
Reply 10
Original post by Anonymous
l just wanted to throw out a few things that pick up artists will say. "l saw you from over there and had to come meet you". "do you like coffee? let me take you out for some coffee". "do you have a boyfriend". "where'd you get that? all that beauty". "are you single".
All pretty cringe.
Reply 11
Original post by Anonymous
lf you were good looking and had a good personality why would you need to circle around a park like a shark in hopes of finding a date. lt's usually men with flawed personalities who arent attracting anyone who need to cold approach. l think it's a bit like a mechanic right. lf you're a good mechanic, customers will seek you out, but if youre a bad mechanic, you're kind of driving around car parks asking motorists if they need work done on their car
What if you've just moved to a new city? EG for university or for work or a 2 week holiday?
Are you supposed to stay isolated? Or are you supposed to reach out and make social contacts?
Circling round a park is bad game. Although I'd argue that some game is better than no game. Because at least they're being proactive.
The men with the best personalities, that have had the right training in Game, or are naturals at it, will cold approach. They will cold approach well. And they will incorporate it into their everyday lives. EG by breaking the ice with people they come across when walking their dog. By opening sets in a club or busy pub when they go out in the evening to let their hair down. Instead of being the club or pub wallflower.
There's so many young men that are going through life single, where they have a limited or cliquey social circle. And it's like they're expecting some attractive woman to come knocking on their door and asking "Would you like to be my boyfriend?"
A proportion of these men end up on incel parts of the internet where they fall for the incel dogma. Part of the incel dogma is that Game and good social skills are a con and they don't work and looks trump everything. The reality is that this is just a feeble, fuzzy thinking, cop-out excuse. For people that won't face up to their own failing in things that they can control, but don't (usually because of fear).
Original post by Anonymous
l just wanted to throw out a few things that pick up artists will say. "l saw you from over there and had to come meet you". "do you like coffee? let me take you out for some coffee". "do you have a boyfriend". "where'd you get that? all that beauty". "are you single".
"I saw you over there and had to come meet you" = mediocre Game. Better to start talking to someone else she's in a group with. A large proportion of the time, when you see an attractive woman she will be other people. Talk to them first. Win them over, at least a little bit, then talk to her.
If she's on her own it's better to say "Hello" in the right tone of voice, as a pre-opener. Allow her to respond. Then launch into an opener. The right type of observational statement would be a good follow up to the pre-opener. EG "Your ginger hair is eye catching. Do you think I'd look good if I dyed my hair the same colour as yours?" - said in a jokey tone of voice with a smirk.
Or even "Oh my God!" if you can't think of anything to say.
"do you like coffee? let me take you out for some coffee" = fine if said a few minutes into the conversation. As an opener it sucks. Because it's too forward and socially uncalibrated. Why should this attractive woman want to go for a coffee with a complete stranger? She'd never get anything done if she went for a coffee with every guy that hit on her.
First 5 minutes you should aim to build attraction. After that you aim to build comfort.
Edit: better to say "Let's go for a coffee" or "Let's go sit down" than "let me take you out for some coffee". Or to say "You should buy me a coffee first" in a cheeky light-hearted way. Better to stay in the lover frame than to put yourself in the provider frame.
"do you have a boyfriend" "are you single" = terrible questions. Never ask this. If she has a boyfriend you want to give the chance to keep this secret from you. So that you have the chance to demonstrate that you're a better option than her boyfriend. And to demonstrate it in a way where you're discrete and there's no slut shaming going on.
If she's the sort that would honestly answer this question with a "yes" then she will tell you this without asking. In which case you move on to adding her and her boyfriend into your social circle mode.
If she doesn't have a boyfriend, she may well lie and say that she has when she hasn't. Making it a dumb question to ask.
It's better to assume she's available. She'll tell you if she isn't.
"where'd you get that? all that beauty" = terrible question / statement. Avoid telling women that they're beautiful during the initial conversation.
If they're not beautiful it's insincere flattery. If they're beautiful they'll be fed up with thirsty guys hitting on them for their beauty.
Much better to talk about other stuff. Such as their inner world. Better to flirt and tease. Better to use push pulls. Better to throw in a false time constraint if you temporarily can't think of anything to say. Cold reading is good too.
(edited 2 months ago)
Original post by Doomotron
I disagree that all cold approaches are harassment. There are definitely instances where it is, but even if it isn't it doesn't guarantee success. I don't get much attention, but even if I was cold approached by someone I wouldn't be particularly interested in them. I need to know someone first to even consider them.
it's ******* disgusting. imagine being so desperate you approach nearly every woman you come across. makes me wanna throw up.
Original post by Ciel.
it's ******* disgusting. imagine being so desperate you approach nearly every woman you come across. makes me wanna throw up.
I wasn't talking about someone trying to chat up every woman they meet. Someone cold approaching someone every once in a while isn't anything like what you say it is.
Original post by Doomotron
I wasn't talking about someone trying to chat up every woman they meet. Someone cold approaching someone every once in a while isn't anything like what you say it is.
the OP isn't talking about every once in a while, he literally says 'alot of these guys will stand around parks, and wait for attractive strangers to show up and then bombard them with pick up lines.'
Original post by Ciel.
the OP isn't talking about every once in a while, he literally says 'alot of these guys will stand around parks, and wait for attractive strangers to show up and then bombard them with pick up lines.'
I wasn't talking to the OP. I didn't mention them at any point. I was responding to your post which said that cold approaches are harassment.
Original post by Doomotron
I wasn't talking to the OP. I didn't mention them at any point. I was responding to your post which said that cold approaches are harassment.
all i said was: 'so harassing women in public doesn't work, wow, imagine...' because that's what the op is referring to in his first post - harassing women. straight men are so weird.
Original post by Ciel.
all i said was: 'so harassing women in public doesn't work, wow, imagine...' because that's what the op is referring to in his first post - harassing women. straight men are so weird.
I'm not sure how I can be any clearer... The OP's post bears no relevance to the conversation I was having with you. I was responding to you only.
Original post by Doomotron
I'm not sure how I can be any clearer... The OP's post bears no relevance to the conversation I was having with you. I was responding to you only.
idk, my brain is all over the place today ; / i just think that what the op is suggesting in his first post is crazy. incel-type behavior.
Original post by Ciel.
idk, my brain is all over the place today ; / i just think that what the op is suggesting in his first post is crazy. incel-type behavior.
The men that the OP is talking about are dodgy, certainly.
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