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will I ever love again ?

When I was 15 I met a guy online he was older than me I never thought anything of it until I seen how attractive he was and tall he was I instantly started getting feelings for him strong euphoric feelings something I never experienced before we spoke for 2 years I never met him or knew what he sounded like but after a while we met 3 times and spoken on phone call when I was 17 he passed away due to a murder I was heartbroken and in shock I’m now 21 since then iv had a few flings a few relationships that’s lasted a couple of months to a year but iv never felt what I once felt if not more ever since him and I can’t understand why maybe because I was young was it infactuation ?, is there something wrong with me a lot of people have said maybe it was more a fantasy for you because u was never in a relationship and hardly knew him properly only what he portrayed online he used to write me the most sweetest things promised me the world but he used to lie and go back to his ex he was a typical cheeky bad boy guy that I instantly fell for I’m the one going through this so I don’t believe I’ll get those feelings back it’s been nearly 4 years since he passed why can’t I feel what I felt if not more is it a time factor or should I seek professional advice, I know people that’s been in relationships had children 10 years later found someone else & had children so it gives me hope loads of people say it takes time but my fear is being with someone 6 months or 1 year or over a year and still not much just the same with everyone else I’m tired of spending time with people being sexual for it to be nothing compared to the first guy me and the first guy was never sexual and we only met a few times maybe I fell for the romantic version I created in my mind as I was very young and naive whats evreyones opinions and advice help please thankyou :smile: