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Casual use of slurs and racial slurs

Im so frustrated and disappointed at my sibling who always casually uses slurs like “fa—-t” and the n-word (we’re asian) through the influence of his close friends (there are at least 2 of them who use it daily).

The use of this vocabulary has affected my brother greatly and he has started to become more aggressive and harsh whilst using these slurs at home - sometimes, the aggressive tone bleeds into his normal speech.

Is there any advice on how I could help my siblings avoid using this type of language and at least tone down the colourful language?

I have tried to explain to him that the use of words like the n-word is unacceptable and is wrong - especially the constant use. He just will not accept this fact and still uses it to this day; its getting constant and more constant - and I am worried about him.

Any help would be greatly appreciated!

Reply 1

Old Skool Freak

Hey...

I'm sorry you have to put up with this.

If you want to get the best advice, we need to know more about the context in which he's using these words, who he's saying them to etc. In particular, the "N" word is now considered to be one of the most offensive words in the English language (apart from the "C" word, perhaps); although, the level of offensiveness largely depends on who's saying this and the context in which it's used. For example, I'm sure you've heard the "N" word casually used amongst other black people, in hip hop music etc.

I'm assuming you've already pointed out multiple times that it's not acceptable language... unfortunately, sometimes the only way they'll learn is a "hard knock" lesson. Using "N" word in front of white people will probably result in disgust and alimentation (well at least from the ones who aren't racist). On the other hand, if back people hear him, he may well be badly beaten up.

Reply 2

Old Skool Freak

The other thing to bear in mind is that nowadays, rather than reacting aggressively, a lot of black people will now just get their phones out and start filming / recording any abuse, harassment etc. they're receiving and post it on Social Media, so it shames the person in question (particularly those who are going to University etc.). In more extreme cases, they may even report it to the police.

Reply 3

nonchalant-

You already explained it to him.
He knows better.
There's some things you have to "let go and let god", this is one.

The Joy's of having siblings you want to protect......

Reply 4

Anonymous #2

Original post

by Anonymous

Im so frustrated and disappointed at my sibling who always casually uses slurs like “fa—-t” and the n-word (we’re asian) through the influence of his close friends (there are at least 2 of them who use it daily).
The use of this vocabulary has affected my brother greatly and he has started to become more aggressive and harsh whilst using these slurs at home - sometimes, the aggressive tone bleeds into his normal speech.
Is there any advice on how I could help my siblings avoid using this type of language and at least tone down the colourful language?
I have tried to explain to him that the use of words like the n-word is unacceptable and is wrong - especially the constant use. He just will not accept this fact and still uses it to this day; its getting constant and more constant - and I am worried about him.
Any help would be greatly appreciated!

I’m in the exact same situation as you. My brother understands that it’s unacceptable and wrong to use those words, but he still does so. He also makes extremely offensive “jokes” (they aren’t jokes though). I tried telling him to stop, explaining why it’s wrong to use those words. He still did it. Then I told him to at least stop using those words around me, he started calling me those words instead. When he says those words, do your best to just ignore him entirely. If he’s not listening to you, hopefully someone else can knock some sense into him.

Reply 5

Old Skool Freak

Original post

by Anonymous

TBH, it does sadden me that some Asians have this attitude towards black people (indeed on this board, the most offensive posts about black people I've seen have come from Asian people (surprisingly)). It's especially sad when you think that in the 1970's & 80's their forefathers would be united with black people against groups like the BNP or NF (Their modern day equivalent(s) are groups like the EDL).

I guess you can also point out the hypocrisy of using that kind of language, if he ever complains about racism he receives from white people (assuming he does, of course).

If he’s not listening to you, hopefully someone else can knock some sense into him.

This may literally happen if he doesn't watch his language and runs his mouth off to the wrong group of people (TBF, for some people, it's the only way they'll ever learn).

(edited 10 months ago)

Reply 6

madbstagat

Original post

by Anonymous

Im so frustrated and disappointed at my sibling who always casually uses slurs like “fa—-t” and the n-word (we’re asian) through the influence of his close friends (there are at least 2 of them who use it daily).
The use of this vocabulary has affected my brother greatly and he has started to become more aggressive and harsh whilst using these slurs at home - sometimes, the aggressive tone bleeds into his normal speech.
Is there any advice on how I could help my siblings avoid using this type of language and at least tone down the colourful language?
I have tried to explain to him that the use of words like the n-word is unacceptable and is wrong - especially the constant use. He just will not accept this fact and still uses it to this day; its getting constant and more constant - and I am worried about him.
Any help would be greatly appreciated!

Im asian and was once in a habit of using the n word in **** conversation due to the gangster rap music i used to listen to but ever since i changed the genre and started further education iv stopped and it isnt a problem anymore

Reply 7

Old Skool Freak

Original post

by madbstagat

Perhaps the OP could clarify, but I think the way you were saying it is different to their brother is using it.

From your description, it sounds like you were using the N word to casually refer to black people (as in common in many black / urban subcultures). However, the impression I'm getting from the OP is that their brother was using it in a malicious and derogatory way; much the same way many racist / white supremacist groups would use the word.

Although some may say you were wrong for using that word in the first place, it's no where near as bad as in the way the OP is describing it (this is based on the aforementioned assumptions being correct, of course).

Reply 8

MillieeM2

Tbh you might need to scare him into not using it anymore. Like if he says it to the wrong person or maybe get someone to have a word with him

Reply 9

madbstagat

Original post

by Old Skool Freak

Perhaps the OP could clarify, but I think the way you were saying it is different to their brother is using it.
From your description, it sounds like you were using the N word to casually refer to black people (as in common in many black / urban subcultures). However, the impression I'm getting from the OP is that their brother was using it in a malicious and derogatory way; much the same way many racist / white supremacist groups would use the word.
Although some may say you were wrong for using that word in the first place, it's no where near as bad as in the way the OP is describing it (this is based on the aforementioned assumptions being correct, of course).