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I like someone who’s in a relationship

Now, I know this sounds awful when you first read it but let me explain.
I work with this guy called Tom, we’ve always got on so well and have been good friends there for months. We speak a lot and have lots of jokes and laughs with eachother . Often we will even stay after our shifts are over for an hour or so just to chat. However rescently it came to my attention that he has a girlfriend, he always plays it down to me when we discuss her and he doesn’t seem too bothered about her.
I don’t want to ruin someone’s relationship that’s not at all my aim. I’m just in such a bad situation because I have such strong feelings for him which have been developed over time which i can’t just switch off.

(About 2 months ago i went through a breakup so im not sure if that may have something to do with it)

Help me!!!

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

Now, I know this sounds awful when you first read it but let me explain.
I work with this guy called Tom, we’ve always got on so well and have been good friends there for months. We speak a lot and have lots of jokes and laughs with eachother . Often we will even stay after our shifts are over for an hour or so just to chat. However rescently it came to my attention that he has a girlfriend, he always plays it down to me when we discuss her and he doesn’t seem too bothered about her.
I don’t want to ruin someone’s relationship that’s not at all my aim. I’m just in such a bad situation because I have such strong feelings for him which have been developed over time which i can’t just switch off.
(About 2 months ago i went through a breakup so im not sure if that may have something to do with it)
Help me!!!

Want the truth suck it up and find another man

Reply 2

Ilikehellokitty

Original post by Anonymous

Want the truth suck it up and find another man

Your reply is fair but somone can’t just snap out of having feelings for someone I have been in the same situation I used to cry for hours and hours over the person I liked I couldn’t control how I felt and this person most likely can’t ether

Reply 3

Anonymous #3

Original post by Anonymous

Want the truth suck it up and find another man

Lmao that's not nice. Is she wifey? If he not go for it girl!

Reply 4

Zarek

Wait till they spilt up, then pounce, is the honourable way

Reply 5

Anonymous #4

Find someone else, he seems like a rebound in my opinion.

Reply 6

Anonymous #5

Original post by Anonymous

Now, I know this sounds awful when you first read it but let me explain.
I work with this guy called Tom, we’ve always got on so well and have been good friends there for months. We speak a lot and have lots of jokes and laughs with eachother . Often we will even stay after our shifts are over for an hour or so just to chat. However rescently it came to my attention that he has a girlfriend, he always plays it down to me when we discuss her and he doesn’t seem too bothered about her.
I don’t want to ruin someone’s relationship that’s not at all my aim. I’m just in such a bad situation because I have such strong feelings for him which have been developed over time which i can’t just switch off.
(About 2 months ago i went through a breakup so im not sure if that may have something to do with it)
Help me!!!

MAJOR RED FLAG. Do not pursue him. The fact he talks down his relationship to you is genuinely concerning, if you think he is possibly flirting with you or not. I feel sorry for his gf in this situation, she deserves to know whats going on. As for you, its okay to have feelings for whoever, especially if you developed those feelings before knowing about his relationship. But take that as a reason to stop those feelings and DEFINITELY DO NOT act on them. You and he would both be incredibly in the wrong if you did. Not only is that terrible for his current partner, but shows you that he is not trustworthy.

Think; if you were his girlfriend in a years time, how could you trust he isnt flirting with other women at work and downplaying your relationship to them? I could never trust someone like that again.
You cannot pursue this, im sorry but start moving on.