TSR DECISIONS DROP IN Q and A NOW OPEN - GET FREE ADVICE HERE >>

Help

Anonymous #1

Why does no guy want me expect the ones with big ass egos

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

Why does no guy want me expect the ones with big ass egos

This is too vague of a question. We know nothing about you or your situation e.g.

•

What are you like as a person?

•

Why do you keep bumping into those with big egos?

•

What you look like - description not photo?

•

Where are you looking for guys?

•

How do you act in front of guys?

•

Do you put any effort in talking to guys or do you expect the world to fall into your lap?

•

Do you have a bad attitude and are you aware of anything that would put guys off? - some girls are not aware of this themselves?

•

How do you dress and come across?

So many factors and so little to go on.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by Anonymous

This is too vague of a question. We know nothing about you or your situation e.g.

•

What are you like as a person?

•

Why do you keep bumping into those with big egos?

•

What you look like - description not photo?

•

Where are you looking for guys?

•

How do you act in front of guys?

•

Do you put any effort in talking to guys or do you expect the world to fall into your lap?

•

Do you have a bad attitude and are you aware of anything that would put guys off? - some girls are not aware of this themselves?

•

How do you dress and come across?

So many factors and so little to go on.

• am actually a really nice person and because of that’s I always end up being used for that. People always tell me am too nice and I need too act up but my heart won’t let me be like that’s
• I don’t know how I end up with those who have big egos maybe because am too self insecure and I get attached really fast I don’t go for looks but somehow I end up getting played by the ones who want me first
• I have light brown hair with highlights I have brown eyes and am 5.2
• I don’t look for guys they just appear they text me out of nowhere and I start too like the and they ask me out and I agree
• last time I put too much effort into a relationship I got taken advantage of my virginity
• I do not have a bad attitude maybe sometimes I joke around with an attitude
• I dress really posh tbh

Reply 3

anosmianAcrimony

This sounds like a form of selection bias. Guys with big-ass egos are generally more confident and more likely to ask you out. Less confident guys may well also want you, but maybe they're too intimidated or shy to let you know.

Anyway you should make efforts to get what you want. If you want a particular guy, ask him out! Maybe you already did, idk I'm making assumptions :smile:

(edited 2 months ago)

Reply 4

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

I agree with anosmianAcrimony, this is self selection bias from the look of things.

• am actually a really nice person and because of that’s I always end up being used for that. People always tell me am too nice and I need too act up but my heart won’t let me be like that’s
Sounds insecure. It's the equivalent of the "nice guy syndrome" people complain about. Learn to set boundaries.

• I don’t know how I end up with those who have big egos
I call BS on that. Why didn't you go for the quite guy in the corner? Did you bother to approach him? Why didn't you? Nobody told you to date the guys with big egos. You choose to let them or you chose to date them.
It's like saying you "ended up drunk", from a night of drinking.

maybe because am too self insecure and I get attached really fast
Sounds about right. Again boundaries. Also in terms of attachment, I am guessing it's something you need to talk to a therapist about.

I don’t go for looks but somehow I end up getting played by the ones who want me first
I don't go for looks - again I am calling BS.
somehow I end up getting played - so you don't vet the guys you date? You should have easily picked up on all of these signals from the get go.
by the ones who want me first - this is BS. These are the ones you ended up picking.

• I have light brown hair with highlights I have brown eyes and am 5.2
You're typically OK. You have not told me anything about your dress sense.
The thing that kind of flagged up were the highlights. If you do go to therapy, I am guessing you might have a long conversation with your relationship with your father.

• I don’t look for guys they just appear they text me out of nowhere and I start too like the and they ask me out and I agree
I don't look for guys they just appear they text me out of nowhere - this sounds incredibly narcissistic and evasive. People don't suddenly text you out of nowhere. How did they get your number? Do you have any control of who has your information? Also people don't just appear. If you lock yourself in your own room for days on end, nobody will "appear out of nowhere". You are likely in environments where people keep popping up, and you are likely deliberately going to those environments where those types of guys appear.
and I start to like them - there it is
they ask me out and I agree - there it is. You agree to go out with them. Nobody forced you. You allowed yourself to get into those situations.

• last time I put too much effort into a relationship I got taken advantage of my virginity
Nope, you put too much effort into a relationship with the wrong guy. Nobody on the planet in fulfilling and long lasting relationships and marriages would say that you put too much effort into a relationship with the right guy and got taken advantage of.
Since you don't vet who you date, I would be wary about the body count that you can end up stacking against you.

• I do not have a bad attitude maybe sometimes I joke around with an attitude
If you have a bad attitude, you have a bad attitude. It doesn't matter if you were joking around or not.
If it only comes out when you're joking around, then possibly it was just under the surface?

• I dress really posh tbh
Yeah, this tells me nothing. "Really posh" can mean anything from an elegant flattering black evening dress to someone who thinks big earrings with lots of piercings with ripped jeans are the most elevating things you can wear, depending on who is talking. It can also mean you think you look posh, but actually don't.

I would recommend seeing a therapist regarding the above. It's not that it's out of the ordinary (as unfortunate as it is), but it doesn't mean that you're in top shape and that you're 100% healthy (who is?).
If you don't check on who you date and you keep repeating the same mistakes that you always have, you will likely keep ending up in the same place. It's like girls who keep asking where all the nice guys are at or why they keep getting taking advantage of - the individual will always remain to be the common denominator in all of this.