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I can give GCSE English Lit Feedback if anyone needs!!

hi! I am a year 11 student, and i do aqa english lit.

the texts i study are pride and prejudice, lord of the flies, macbeth and power and conflict poetry.

if anyone needs essay feedback on any of these or on unseen poetry, just let me know because i am happy to help - it would also be very useful revision for me! i have consistently been gettng grade 9s from the beginning of year 10. my most recent exam was a macbeth essay for the mocks and i got full marks on this, so hopefully my feedback would be useful to you guys.

just let me know!!

anaiya x

Reply 1

Hey, so I also do AQA eng lit
I have my mocks coming up and need help with macbeth essays because I find them hard to link and am not sure about the structure

Reply 2

hi, for macbeth, i just make loads of essay plans for preparation. its quite useful if you set a5 min timer and bullet point three main points (each one becomes a paragraph) that are veryconceptualised and perceptive because examiners are really looking for differentinterpretations that they haven’t seen before.in that 5 mins i also list all the quotes that ithink could be useful for the theme or character. by making a bunch of these essay plans ithelps me to become familiar with all of the themes and is also good practice for writing anessay in exam conditions without having to spend the full time!! definitely dont learn fullessays, focus on learning adaptable quotes. i found quotes for each theme but like within acharacter eg. macbeth’s ambition, macbeth’s guilt, macbeth’s kingship, lady macbeth’sgender etc. it helps me to group it by character. i also tried to find as many overlappingquotes as possible. for example, i use “fair is foul and foul is fair” in almost every singleessay because it applies to pretty much every part of the play. my other go to is “i have nospur to prick the sides of my intent only vaulting ambition which o’erleaps itself and falls onth’other”. by finding a few of these quotes that are really “explodable” (ie. theres a lot oflanguage analysis and they are quite versatile) i cover loads of themes and characterswithout needing to learn a billion quotes.
my annotations for fair is foul:
choral speaking makes it seem prophetic
oxymoronic juxtaposition is riddling and shows duplicity from the start of the play
fricative alliteration is unsettling
monosyllabic repetition is chant like and conveys certainty
chiasmus/ parallel structure/ mirrored structure is equivocal (link to Gunpowder Plot andTreatise of Equivocation context)
part of a rhyming couplet, suggesting determinism
foreshadowing/ foreboding
link to James I’s fascination with supernatural (his book ‘Daemonologie’) as context

my commentary on “vaulting ambition” in the context of the essay which got full marks (this makes up about 1/2 of a paragraph, so you reallyy dont need that many quotes!):

In his second soliloquy, at the start of Act 1 Scene 7, we once again see Macbeth's equivocal state of mind, as he comes to realise that the only thing encouraging him to takefurther action and to murder Duncan is his own ambition; ‘I have no spur/ To prick the sides of my intent, but only/ Vaulting ambition which o’erleaps itself and falls on th’other –’. Thismetaphor encapsulates his confliction as he is both displayed as the horse and the rider,both in control of his own destiny though simultaneously influenced by so much of theenvironment around him. The verb ‘vaulting’ personifies his ambition, making it overpowering, with a life of its own. This sense of momentum is emphasised by the iambic pentameter which as a riding-like rhythm, as well as by the use of enjambment between the lines. This verb also suggests an upwards trajectory, implying that his ambition is growingwith every passing moment, however the caesura at the end of the line undermines this,mimetic of a “fall” and foreboding unwelcome consequences to the ‘horrid deed’.Nevertheless, the verb ‘o’erleaps’ conveys how his ambition is still far greater than hisability, and this ambition is too overwhelming to ignore, despite the definite “fall” that awaitshim. Therefore, although a misogynistic Jacobean society may have considered LadyMacbeth most at fault, a modern audience would place more value in the fact that killingDuncan was originally Macbeth’s idea, and that he was ‘spur[ed] forwards predominantly byhis ambition to be King.

okay i just realised that i have talked for ages about quotes when you asked about structure!!

so this is what i usually do:

1.

INTRO
This should be only 2-3 sentences. first sentence: summarise the storyline in relation to the focus of the question. second sentence (which you could split into two): relate briefly to Jacobean context before honing in on shakespeare’s overall intention

2.

PARAGRAPH 1
start with a point sentence. your point of this paragraph should be the most logical obvious argument (eg. for ambition - macbeth is driven by ambition). then link in an explodable quote. probably two would be enough if you say literally every single possible bit of analysis and context. try and finish the paragraph with a link to perspectives, ie. a comment on how a jacobean audience would view this theme, in comparison to how a modern audience would view it. finish the para with a sentence which summarises your argument in relation to the question. its important to always start and end each paragraph with a link to the questions, but ideally you should be threading these links throughout your writing because it will show a detailed approach and make sure the examiner understands the relevance of your analysis, because if you dont link, then it’s like what’s the point of the analysis. how to go about it is using phrases like “therefore/furthermore/ultimately etc. shakespeare aims/intends/illustrates” to signpost to the examiner “yep im talking about the question now”

3.

PARAGRAPH 2
in terms of writing style and the structure within the paragraph itself, it’s the exact same as para 1. but this paragraph should be focused on a more nuanced point (eg. for ambition: although macbeth’s ambition is his own, it is corrupted by the witches and this is what makes it an evil force which leads to his demise). this is what gets you marks for being perceptive and conceptual. in general, unless the question is about supernatural, the witches are a good perceptive point to use - this is why fair is foul is my favourite quote!

4.

CONCLUSION
start with a sentence about shakespeare’s overall intention in the play in relation to the question. then a sentence summarising how he does this and the obvious point. then a sentence summarising your perceptive point, and finally a sentence similar to the first sentence of your intro, in which you summarise the plotline in relation to the question.


hope this helps!!

anaiya x


Original post by hazarda_knabino
Hey, so I also do AQA eng lit
I have my mocks coming up and need help with macbeth essays because I find them hard to link and am not sure about the structure

Reply 3

WOW!! thank you so much for that, it was so detailed
I always struggle with trying to write loads of paragraphs to provide more viewpoints for the question but this has helped a lot!
This may sound like a silly question but i won't be penalised for writing REALLY long paragraphs, will I?

Reply 4

Original post by anaiya.20
hi! I am a year 11 student, and i do aqa english lit.
the texts i study are pride and prejudice, lord of the flies, macbeth and power and conflict poetry.
if anyone needs essay feedback on any of these or on unseen poetry, just let me know because i am happy to help - it would also be very useful revision for me! i have consistently been gettng grade 9s from the beginning of year 10. my most recent exam was a macbeth essay for the mocks and i got full marks on this, so hopefully my feedback would be useful to you guys.
just let me know!!
anaiya x

Hi! I am a year 10 student doing AQA English lit and i’m studying Macbeth and power and conflict poetries too. Could you give me some examples of questions that come up in exams for Macbeth and poetry so I can get a sense of how I should revise. I’ve already started making resources for the power and conflict poetry to remember quotes and annotations. Do you have any advice for efficiently memorising quotes (including for Macbeth)?
Thank you!!

Reply 5

Original post by hazarda_knabino
WOW!! thank you so much for that, it was so detailed
I always struggle with trying to write loads of paragraphs to provide more viewpoints for the question but this has helped a lot!
This may sound like a silly question but i won't be penalised for writing REALLY long paragraphs, will I?


nope - although it is better to split up your paragraphs for structure, as long as you have some form of paragraphing and it isn’t just one huge block, you will be fine. I wouldn’t go over a page for one paragraph though because you might start losing sight of your argument! glad it helped xx

Reply 6

Original post by anaiya.20
hi! I am a year 11 student, and i do aqa english lit.
the texts i study are pride and prejudice, lord of the flies, macbeth and power and conflict poetry.
if anyone needs essay feedback on any of these or on unseen poetry, just let me know because i am happy to help - it would also be very useful revision for me! i have consistently been gettng grade 9s from the beginning of year 10. my most recent exam was a macbeth essay for the mocks and i got full marks on this, so hopefully my feedback would be useful to you guys.
just let me know!!
anaiya x

Hi. I do literature too, but i do cambridge. But we both still do unseen poetry. So could you please give me some feedback on this repsonse.
This is the question:
1 Read carefully the poem on the opposite page. The poet has recently moved into an old house. He is in the attic trying to fix the electrical wiring and starts to think about the house and the people who have lived there before him. How does the poet vividly convey his thoughts and feelings while in the attic? To help you answer this question, you might consider: how he portrays the attic as an uncomfortable place how he conveys his feelings about the house his thoughts about its past inhabitants and the effect these thoughts have on him.

This is the poem:
The House
I lie across the rafters of the loft1
Holding the torch. From the junction box
Wires twist into darkness, a crumbling
Skein2 of red and black under sackcloth
Of webs. For three stifling hours

In the attic’s heat I have cursed
This challenge, frustrated by
Electricity the merciless current
That will not come. And the silence
Of the house offers no clue. Matching

Myself against its fifty years,
The solid rooms and gables3 of this redbrick
Terrace4, I must establish my own
Permanence. For territory is not
Bought or sold but fought over: it is

The first instinct, the small, unremarkable
Warfare of our lives. Yet crouched in this
Hot attic room my sweat has turned to ice.
The torchbeam’s yellow cylinder
Identifies the dust, shapes from life

That have served their time and been abandoned
By the house. And I stare, fascinated,
At the dead. The faces of those who once called
This house home. Like them, like this frail
Blade of light, the house has swallowed me.

1 loft: attic
2 skein: tangle of threads
3 gables: walls
4 terrace: a type of house

And this is my response:

The poet vividly conveys his thoughts and feelings while in the attic through a number of ways that are directly and indirectly expressed in this poem.
The poet’s use of an irregular structure in the form of a free verse with no rhyme scheme highlights the abnormality of the atmosphere created while he is in the attic. His use of complex diction can also signify the complexity of the household, specifically the frustrations accompanied with him trying to fix the electrical wiring.
The poet expresses relatively long sentence lengths that are meant to be read at a relatively slow pace. This pace can reflect how he feels the slowness of the passage of time as he lies “across the rafters”. These long sentence lengths can also be used by the poet to signify the age of the house, as it is said to be “fifty years”. There is also frequent enjambment used in the poem, seemingly to highlight the continuous process of house ownership, how it is almost always owned by a person. The poet feels that houses are just territories to be “fought over”, meaning the transfer of ownership of a house is as seamless as winning a battle, and similar to moving from one line to the next with no punctuation.
The speaker uses irregular, rather complex diction that can be said to highlight the irregular feeling the attic imposes on him. As the diction makes the reader slightly uncomfortable as they struggle to comprehend the poet’s meaning, the attic likewise makes the speaker uncomfortable. This poem is comprised of 5 stanzas of 5 lines. This uniform stanza length can signify the poet’s feelings about the house, how they don’t seem to have undergone any significant change from the beginning of the poem to the end of the poem.
The wires described in the first stanza have been personified to seemingly twist into darkness. This statement provokes an eerie feeling in us as readers, granting us the ability to resonate with the feelings the writer must feel as he is in the attic. There is also imagery used here that continuously promotes the eerie feeling. There is also alliteration in the final stanza in the form of “house home” that is used to highlight the speaker’s feelings about those who used to dwell in the house. He seems to feel a sort of relation and resonance with them as he is implied to think of them as normal beings who are now unfortunately dead.
Despite the writer’s obvious discomfort of being in the attic, he is seen to show a fascination of those who used to live in the house. This fascination seems to further emphasise the loneliness and eeriness he feels from being in the attic, as he is even seen to personify the house to have “swallowed” him. Furthermore, the poet’s frequent use of imagery to highlight the heat caused by the lack of electricity in the attic perfectly encapsulates his feeling of discomfort.
Overall, I think the poet fantastically, perfectly and vividly conveys the thoughts and feelings that overwhelm him while he is in the attic. His use of first person point of view is what promotes the readers’ understanding of his thoughts and feelings as they are able to easily relate to him, and even place themselves in his shoes. This perspective used also highlights the poet’s thoughts of his insignificance in comparison to the great and overwhelming significance of the fifty year old “terrace”.

I would really like it if you could give it your suggested grade, and suggest ways to improve on it

Reply 7

Original post by anaiya.20
hi, for macbeth, i just make loads of essay plans for preparation. its quite useful if you set a5 min timer and bullet point three main points (each one becomes a paragraph) that are veryconceptualised and perceptive because examiners are really looking for differentinterpretations that they haven’t seen before.in that 5 mins i also list all the quotes that ithink could be useful for the theme or character. by making a bunch of these essay plans ithelps me to become familiar with all of the themes and is also good practice for writing anessay in exam conditions without having to spend the full time!! definitely dont learn fullessays, focus on learning adaptable quotes. i found quotes for each theme but like within acharacter eg. macbeth’s ambition, macbeth’s guilt, macbeth’s kingship, lady macbeth’sgender etc. it helps me to group it by character. i also tried to find as many overlappingquotes as possible. for example, i use “fair is foul and foul is fair” in almost every singleessay because it applies to pretty much every part of the play. my other go to is “i have nospur to prick the sides of my intent only vaulting ambition which o’erleaps itself and falls onth’other”. by finding a few of these quotes that are really “explodable” (ie. theres a lot oflanguage analysis and they are quite versatile) i cover loads of themes and characterswithout needing to learn a billion quotes.
my annotations for fair is foul:
choral speaking makes it seem prophetic
oxymoronic juxtaposition is riddling and shows duplicity from the start of the play
fricative alliteration is unsettling
monosyllabic repetition is chant like and conveys certainty
chiasmus/ parallel structure/ mirrored structure is equivocal (link to Gunpowder Plot andTreatise of Equivocation context)
part of a rhyming couplet, suggesting determinism
foreshadowing/ foreboding
link to James I’s fascination with supernatural (his book ‘Daemonologie’) as context
my commentary on “vaulting ambition” in the context of the essay which got full marks (this makes up about 1/2 of a paragraph, so you reallyy dont need that many quotes!):
In his second soliloquy, at the start of Act 1 Scene 7, we once again see Macbeth's equivocal state of mind, as he comes to realise that the only thing encouraging him to takefurther action and to murder Duncan is his own ambition; ‘I have no spur/ To prick the sides of my intent, but only/ Vaulting ambition which o’erleaps itself and falls on th’other –’. Thismetaphor encapsulates his confliction as he is both displayed as the horse and the rider,both in control of his own destiny though simultaneously influenced by so much of theenvironment around him. The verb ‘vaulting’ personifies his ambition, making it overpowering, with a life of its own. This sense of momentum is emphasised by the iambic pentameter which as a riding-like rhythm, as well as by the use of enjambment between the lines. This verb also suggests an upwards trajectory, implying that his ambition is growingwith every passing moment, however the caesura at the end of the line undermines this,mimetic of a “fall” and foreboding unwelcome consequences to the ‘horrid deed’.Nevertheless, the verb ‘o’erleaps’ conveys how his ambition is still far greater than hisability, and this ambition is too overwhelming to ignore, despite the definite “fall” that awaitshim. Therefore, although a misogynistic Jacobean society may have considered LadyMacbeth most at fault, a modern audience would place more value in the fact that killingDuncan was originally Macbeth’s idea, and that he was ‘spur[ed] forwards predominantly byhis ambition to be King.
okay i just realised that i have talked for ages about quotes when you asked about structure!!
so this is what i usually do:

1.

INTRO
This should be only 2-3 sentences. first sentence: summarise the storyline in relation to the focus of the question. second sentence (which you could split into two): relate briefly to Jacobean context before honing in on shakespeare’s overall intention

2.

PARAGRAPH 1
start with a point sentence. your point of this paragraph should be the most logical obvious argument (eg. for ambition - macbeth is driven by ambition). then link in an explodable quote. probably two would be enough if you say literally every single possible bit of analysis and context. try and finish the paragraph with a link to perspectives, ie. a comment on how a jacobean audience would view this theme, in comparison to how a modern audience would view it. finish the para with a sentence which summarises your argument in relation to the question. its important to always start and end each paragraph with a link to the questions, but ideally you should be threading these links throughout your writing because it will show a detailed approach and make sure the examiner understands the relevance of your analysis, because if you dont link, then it’s like what’s the point of the analysis. how to go about it is using phrases like “therefore/furthermore/ultimately etc. shakespeare aims/intends/illustrates” to signpost to the examiner “yep im talking about the question now”

3.

PARAGRAPH 2
in terms of writing style and the structure within the paragraph itself, it’s the exact same as para 1. but this paragraph should be focused on a more nuanced point (eg. for ambition: although macbeth’s ambition is his own, it is corrupted by the witches and this is what makes it an evil force which leads to his demise). this is what gets you marks for being perceptive and conceptual. in general, unless the question is about supernatural, the witches are a good perceptive point to use - this is why fair is foul is my favourite quote!

4.

CONCLUSION
start with a sentence about shakespeare’s overall intention in the play in relation to the question. then a sentence summarising how he does this and the obvious point. then a sentence summarising your perceptive point, and finally a sentence similar to the first sentence of your intro, in which you summarise the plotline in relation to the question.


hope this helps!!
anaiya x

hey could u do an example of an intro paragraph pls xx

Reply 8

Original post by anaiya.20
hi! I am a year 11 student, and i do aqa english lit.
the texts i study are pride and prejudice, lord of the flies, macbeth and power and conflict poetry.
if anyone needs essay feedback on any of these or on unseen poetry, just let me know because i am happy to help - it would also be very useful revision for me! i have consistently been gettng grade 9s from the beginning of year 10. my most recent exam was a macbeth essay for the mocks and i got full marks on this, so hopefully my feedback would be useful to you guys.
just let me know!!
anaiya x

Heyy, I'm in year 10 right now :smile:
Congrats to your grades in english! I hope to get as good as that when I get to year 11! Right now Im doing everything u did except for macbeth we did romeo and juliet. I have two teachers, one for R+J and one for LOF. For the 2nd one I feel like I'm gna fail it as my teacher yaps the whole period so we don't have time to copy stuff down, she doesn't give us quotation learning and we are so behind compared to other classes - those who have one or two teachers have finished both r+j and lof and are starting pride and prejudice while we js finished romea and Juliet (probably have like 3 extra lessons on it) and for Lord of the flies we're on chapter 5 even tho we started in September and she expects us to read to chapter 12 for tomorrow, knowing we wont even get there. We have her three times in the two weeks and the teacher we have for R+J we have her 5 times. Is there any revision tips you could off me for LOF, I'm trying to start mindmaps for it but I don't know if I'll use them effectively .

Thanks!
Miracs

Reply 9

Original post by sp_26
Hi! I am a year 10 student doing AQA English lit and i’m studying Macbeth and power and conflict poetries too. Could you give me some examples of questions that come up in exams for Macbeth and poetry so I can get a sense of how I should revise. I’ve already started making resources for the power and conflict poetry to remember quotes and annotations. Do you have any advice for efficiently memorising quotes (including for Macbeth)?
Thank you!!


hey! for learning quotes, i usually write them out like 3 times each, and then blurt them by theme/ character in an essay plan xx

Reply 10

Hey, this is really helpful! Just wondering if you had any tips, resources or exemplar essays on Pride and Prejudice and Power and Conflict Poetry.

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