Finding ‘my people’ at Uni

2

Hello i’m a current 1st year and currently struggling with friends etc. im at uni of Leeds, i study HR (niche course) and dont fit in with a lot of business students, my halls were terrible and im only sharing with two people who although i like I never see. I dont really drink but im happy being around it abd i dobt like clubbing. Im from London snd considered myself very social and good at talking to people - yet i havent been able to find people i feel i click with, i really havent made that made friends and it is making this year difficult. I’ve had a really bsd year overall and im reckoning with the fact there is basically only 5 weeks then its over. I want to have a great time at uni and want to meet people i get on well with and have fun. At college i found it so easy and most people i met i got on really well with but here it is not the same. I’m really struggling to find people i fit with.

Reply 1

LancashireRep1

Official Rep

16

Original post

by PenguinsAndrew

Hello i’m a current 1st year and currently struggling with friends etc. im at uni of Leeds, i study HR (niche course) and dont fit in with a lot of business students, my halls were terrible and im only sharing with two people who although i like I never see. I dont really drink but im happy being around it abd i dobt like clubbing. Im from London snd considered myself very social and good at talking to people - yet i havent been able to find people i feel i click with, i really havent made that made friends and it is making this year difficult. I’ve had a really bsd year overall and im reckoning with the fact there is basically only 5 weeks then its over. I want to have a great time at uni and want to meet people i get on well with and have fun. At college i found it so easy and most people i met i got on really well with but here it is not the same. I’m really struggling to find people i fit with.

Hey there,

Sorry to hear this and understand it's a challenging time. It's great to hear you haven't struggled with this in the past. Something I wish I got told when starting university was that it takes time and to be more patient with it. I understand you have five weeks left but that is plenty of time to get out there and make connections.

Firstly, I would suggest checking if your university or it's student union has events on that you could attend. There are many people in the same boat as you, so you may meet someone you haven't had the chance to yet. This would be a positive start to meeting new students. Joining a society is a great way to meet like minded people with similar interests. If you haven't tried this then I would highly recommend it. Societies are created for many reasons including, meeting new people, having something in common with your group and to get your self out there and experience university life.

Have you joined any groups on social media? This is something I always recommend and it doesn't have to be right at the start of the year. Joining Facebook groups is just an example but a great way to find people you may not have had the chance to find in person. There may be what's app groups or other social media platforms and apps where you can meet people from the university or people similar age from Leeds.

Do you have a part time job? Working along side my studies, is where I found a few of my good friends, I still speak to after graduating. Working with friends made work go by quicker but I also didn't have to use too much of my free time to see them as I saw them during my shifts.

How come you don't see your flatmates? It's a shame that you like them and don't get to hang out with them. Could it be worth having a chat with them? Suggesting to do a food shop or cook together one night may be a start to getting to know them further.

I hope this helps and you find some amazing friends 🙂
^Zac

Reply 2

LJMUStudentReps

Official Rep

17

Original post

by PenguinsAndrew

Hello i’m a current 1st year and currently struggling with friends etc. im at uni of Leeds, i study HR (niche course) and dont fit in with a lot of business students, my halls were terrible and im only sharing with two people who although i like I never see. I dont really drink but im happy being around it abd i dobt like clubbing. Im from London snd considered myself very social and good at talking to people - yet i havent been able to find people i feel i click with, i really havent made that made friends and it is making this year difficult. I’ve had a really bsd year overall and im reckoning with the fact there is basically only 5 weeks then its over. I want to have a great time at uni and want to meet people i get on well with and have fun. At college i found it so easy and most people i met i got on really well with but here it is not the same. I’m really struggling to find people i fit with.

Hi @PenguinsAndrew,

My names Matt and I am a first year student at LJMU.

Sorry to hear that you have struggled with finding your people during your first year at university. Rest assured though, it is very common for people to feel like this in their first year so you aren't the only one! Although you do not have long left until you finish for the year, it is never too late to meet new people!

Like another rep has said, societies are an amazing way to meet new people. A quick search on your university's website should allow you to find all the clubs and societies they have to offer. Societies are great because everyone who attends will have similar interests and therefore you will share something in common. This makes first conversations a lot easier. It shouldn't matter what point of the year you join a society either, they should welcome new people throughout the whole year. I personally found sports and societies very beneficial for meeting new people and getting to know people better!

I am sure there will be a society that takes your interest and I really hope that you do manage to find some good friends during your time at university. I hope my response has helped and reassured you slightly. Please do not hesitate to ask any other questions you might have.

Thank you, Matt 🙂
Official LJMU Student Rep

Reply 3

hallamstudents

Official Rep

18

Original post

by PenguinsAndrew

Hello i’m a current 1st year and currently struggling with friends etc. im at uni of Leeds, i study HR (niche course) and dont fit in with a lot of business students, my halls were terrible and im only sharing with two people who although i like I never see. I dont really drink but im happy being around it abd i dobt like clubbing. Im from London snd considered myself very social and good at talking to people - yet i havent been able to find people i feel i click with, i really havent made that made friends and it is making this year difficult. I’ve had a really bsd year overall and im reckoning with the fact there is basically only 5 weeks then its over. I want to have a great time at uni and want to meet people i get on well with and have fun. At college i found it so easy and most people i met i got on really well with but here it is not the same. I’m really struggling to find people i fit with.

Hi @PenguinsAndrew ,

I am really sorry to hear that you have been struggling to find your people at university. I am sure you have heard this before, but it can take a while to find people that you really click with and I only found people I really got on with and were 'my people' in my second year at uni so try not to worry too much as there will be lots of people who are in your position too. Here are some of my tips for making friends and you may find that you meet some people by doing some of these:

•

Join a society. I know lots of people say it but I did this and I met lots of lovely new people so this might be worth thinking about! If you didn't want to join now, you could look when you start again in September as there will be societies and sports fairs for you to look at everything that is on offer for you and you can go to taster sessions too to see if you enjoy any. There will be lots of new people here so you will meet lots of people and there is a chance that they will be your kind of people if it is a hobby that you already enjoy! Or, have a look now and see if there are any that you can join as you can often join half way through the year.

•

You could also have a look and see if there are any local clubs you can join. There will often be clubs or groups in the town that you are living in that are not necessarily associated with your uni but you might meet some people doing this too!

•

Have a look on social media as you might meet some people this way too that you click with. There are often group on social media such as Facebook where people talk to people on their course or just at the uni in general so you may meet some people this way.

•

See if your Student Union puts any events on. The SU will often put different events on and you might enjoy some of these if you go and try one of these out! These often don't involve drinking or clubbing either so you might enjoy them more than some other events!

I hope some of this helps,

Lucy -SHU student ambassador.

Reply 4

University of Bath

Official Rep

14

Original post

by PenguinsAndrew

Hello i’m a current 1st year and currently struggling with friends etc. im at uni of Leeds, i study HR (niche course) and dont fit in with a lot of business students, my halls were terrible and im only sharing with two people who although i like I never see. I dont really drink but im happy being around it abd i dobt like clubbing. Im from London snd considered myself very social and good at talking to people - yet i havent been able to find people i feel i click with, i really havent made that made friends and it is making this year difficult. I’ve had a really bsd year overall and im reckoning with the fact there is basically only 5 weeks then its over. I want to have a great time at uni and want to meet people i get on well with and have fun. At college i found it so easy and most people i met i got on really well with but here it is not the same. I’m really struggling to find people i fit with.

Hi OP,

You've already had some lovely advice from others so no need for me to parrot that here. This post is really just for a bit of reassurance!

You would not believe the amount of new students out there in the exact same boat as you. I would say that struggling to navigate a new group of people and finding where you fit in is the norm rather than the exception, and so how you're feeling is completely normal.

In my first year I probably made about 3 friends who I felt were similar to me? The rest were just casual acquaintances or people I could talk to but not really click with. And it can feel isolating at times. However in second year my course involved a bit more group work, and I found some more friends that way - by working with them and doing projects together. I'd also joined a coffee appreciation society in my second year so found that a good way to meet others. Working part-time as a uni student ambassador also opened up a really positive network of people from different courses .

The point behind all of this is, its normal to feel a little disconnected in first year, but rest assured if you keep putting yourself out there, going places and getting involved with things, it will get easier 🙂

Hoping this helps, just keep at it 🙂

Holly
University of Bath

(edited 9 months ago)

Finding ‘my people’ at Uni

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