The Student Room Group

is this inappropriate?

I'm a female student on placement living in hospital accommodation. There are two rooms in the flat, mine and another. The accommodation people have sent a man to live in the accommodation next door, he's like old. I feel really uncomfortable and they are saying to me internal moves are not possible. When I first saw him he was walking around the hallway in shorts/boxers and a vest. I really want to move. I have emailed them, they just said all residents are appropriate as they work in the hospital.

Any advice?

Reply 1

Original post
by Anonymous
I'm a female student on placement living in hospital accommodation. There are two rooms in the flat, mine and another. The accommodation people have sent a man to live in the accommodation next door, he's like old. I feel really uncomfortable and they are saying to me internal moves are not possible. When I first saw him he was walking around the hallway in shorts/boxers and a vest. I really want to move. I have emailed them, they just said all residents are appropriate as they work in the hospital.
Any advice?

So would you be happy if he was young and fit?

Reply 2

Original post
by Anonymous
I'm a female student on placement living in hospital accommodation. There are two rooms in the flat, mine and another. The accommodation people have sent a man to live in the accommodation next door, he's like old. I feel really uncomfortable and they are saying to me internal moves are not possible. When I first saw him he was walking around the hallway in shorts/boxers and a vest. I really want to move. I have emailed them, they just said all residents are appropriate as they work in the hospital.
Any advice?

Is it possible to find accommodation outside of the ones provided by the hospital? Or perhaps you could ask around to see if there are other residents who would be comfortable swapping with you - perhaps there's another student in a similar situation and a room swap could be arranged. I completely understand why you're uncomfortable and i think the hospital should have considered if this was appropriate, you're not overreacting. Hope you're able to find something that works for you.

Reply 3

Original post
by Anonymous
I'm a female student on placement living in hospital accommodation. There are two rooms in the flat, mine and another. The accommodation people have sent a man to live in the accommodation next door, he's like old. I feel really uncomfortable and they are saying to me internal moves are not possible. When I first saw him he was walking around the hallway in shorts/boxers and a vest. I really want to move. I have emailed them, they just said all residents are appropriate as they work in the hospital.
Any advice?

I personally think that wearing boxers or any form of underwear in public places (not toilets, bathrooms or changing rooms) constitutes sexual harresment, whether male or female. You should lodge a formal complaint if it continues. You are not a trouble maker. Instead you demonstrate your awareness and seriousness in the subject.

The medical and healthcare profession shall be very serious and cautious towards this. I suggest an objective test would be whether the action is essential, e.g. male practitioners are allowed to touch the private parts of female only for medical reasons in the presence of another female practitioners. Wearing underwear in public places certainly does not fall under this.

You are helping the profession to uphold the basic standards of professionalism and public trusts. You have forewarned the administration snd the wrong-doer, which I think is over-lenient if the guy is also a healthcare practitioner. You would be a role model to victims in standing up and voicing out.

P.S. To be blunt, run away is not an option. You are not the wrong-doer.

Reply 4

Original post
by Anonymous
Is it possible to find accommodation outside of the ones provided by the hospital? Or perhaps you could ask around to see if there are other residents who would be comfortable swapping with you - perhaps there's another student in a similar situation and a room swap could be arranged. I completely understand why you're uncomfortable and i think the hospital should have considered if this was appropriate, you're not overreacting. Hope you're able to find something that works for you.

Thanks for replying, its too expensive and I have like two months left here. The medical students have a whole accommodation block to themselves and I don't think anyone would want to swap with me.

Reply 5

Original post
by cksiu
I personally think that wearing boxers or any form of underwear in public places (not toilets, bathrooms or changing rooms) constitutes sexual harresment, whether male or female. You should lodge a formal complaint if it continues. You are not a trouble maker. Instead you demonstrate your awareness and seriousness in the subject.
The medical and healthcare profession shall be very serious and cautious towards this. I suggest an objective test would be whether the action is essential, e.g. male practitioners are allowed to touch the private parts of female only for medical reasons in the presence of another female practitioners. Wearing underwear in public places certainly does not fall under this.
You are helping the profession to uphold the basic standards of professionalism and public trusts. You have forewarned the administration snd the wrong-doer, which I think is over-lenient if the guy is also a healthcare practitioner. You would be a role model to victims in standing up and voicing out.
P.S. To be blunt, run away is not an option. You are not the wrong-doer.

Thank you, I've complained to them

Reply 6

Original post
by Anonymous
That's not what I'm saying you perv, I thinks its inappropriate that they have sent a man to liver here, old or young, when I'm a female living on my own

Yet you focused on how "old" this person is. That is discrimination . You also described his clothing as "shorts/boxers". Shorts are outerwear and not inappropriate. You're going way over the top, imo.

Reply 7

Original post
by ageshallnot
Yet you focused on how "old" this person is. That is discrimination . You also described his clothing as "shorts/boxers". Shorts are outerwear and not inappropriate. You're going way over the top, imo.

Would you be comfortable with living with a man on your own half dressed waling around?

It's not about the age, I focused on the fact that its a male,

Reply 8

Original post
by Anonymous
Would you be comfortable with living with a man on your own half dressed waling around?
It's not about the age, I focused on the fact that its a male,

As I'm male, then the question is pointless.
Original post
by Anonymous
Would you be comfortable with living with a man on your own half dressed waling around?

It's not about the age, I focused on the fact that its a male,


Have you tried acting like an adult and asking him to wear more clothes/a dressing gown in shared areas of the flat?
It sounds like he was making himself breakfast in his own kitchen in his pyjamas and you’re reacting like he was behaving inappropriately.

Reply 10

Original post
by PQ
Have you tried acting like an adult and asking him to wear more clothes/a dressing gown in shared areas of the flat?
It sounds like he was making himself breakfast in his own kitchen in his pyjamas and you’re reacting like he was behaving inappropriately.

It's not his own kitchen, it was shared and it was in the middle of the day.
Original post
by Anonymous
It's not his own kitchen, it was shared and it was in the middle of the day.


Have you asked him if he would wear more clothes in shared spaces?
A shared kitchen is still his kitchen. Wearing PJs in shared spaces isn’t inappropriate unless someone has asked you not to.

Reply 12

It is a fundamental right, as far as I am concerned, that nobody should have to share or live near someone they're not comfortable with. Whether intuition, 'better safe than sorry', or simply personal preference. Try to stay away from saying anything that could be construed as ageist, sexist, or racist but do know that you are allowed to privately have any reasons you like, especially since the power of an older person over a young one can feel intimidating and, if it even slightly resembles a kind of abuse/lack of propriety or care for your feelings, it is more, for want of another term, more 'creepy' than if exhibited by someone of a similar age to you.

Insist on finding alternative accommodation. If you'll be out of pocket due to the placement not being willing to fund that for you, forfeit that placement to go somewhere else. And then complain to the appropriate bodies who look after hospitals.
(edited 11 months ago)

Reply 13

If I were the "old" guy in this story I think I'd request a transfer to another flat.

Reply 14

this discussion shows the blatant misogyny and victim blaming that is embedded within our society. disgusting. i hope you can find new accommodation soon and men stop commenting about stuff they don’t know
Original post
by Anonymous
this discussion shows the blatant misogyny and victim blaming that is embedded within our society. disgusting. i hope you can find new accommodation soon and men stop commenting about stuff they don’t know

I’m not a man. I have shared flats with men who left their room to use shared spaces in their pyjamas.

Reply 16

Original post
by Anonymous
this discussion shows the blatant misogyny and victim blaming that is embedded within our society. disgusting. i hope you can find new accommodation soon and men stop commenting about stuff they don’t know

Misogyny and victim blaming are real phenomena in our society. But in this case I fail to see what the OP is a victim of.

Reply 17

This thread is a wild ride.

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