My dad acts like he’s my son - advice needed

My dad is middle aged and behaves like he’s a toddler.

He’ll throw tantrums when he doesn’t get his way, and I don’t mean that in a metaphorical sense either, he will literally storm off, shout random swear words, and throw random objects.

He refuses to help out around the house most of the time, leaving my mum to do almost all of the house work whilst he does nothing.

Whenever he’s in a bad mood, it’s impossible to be around him as he’ll scream at you for the tiniest of things, for example if I shut my bedroom door too loudly, or drop something accidentally, he’ll scream at me.

When he’s in a good mood, he enjoys deliberately annoying people in the same way a small child would, he comes up to me whilst I’m studying and makes random noises and sings and generally gets in my way.

Whenever I get mad at him he puts on a literal baby voice and starts talking like a toddler and making me feel guilty about being upset.

I can’t have a serious conversation with him because he either gets angry or takes it as a joke.

He acts like he needs to be waited on hand and foot, especially by women. He has never lived by himself without a woman and I genuinely don’t think he’d survive on his own as he’s completely unwilling to learn how to do basic household chores properly.

He continuously makes jokes about ‘women belonging in the kitchen’ much like a teenage boy would.

I’m 18 and at this point I don’t really see him as a father anymore and more like a brother or son. I’ve started to use ‘gentle parenting’ methods when dealing with him because it’s the only thing that really seems to work.

I feel like it’s all so weird and have no idea why he behaves the way he does and how the hell im supposed to respond.

I’ve tried bringing it up with him and explaining how he’s a grown man and should behave like it, but he always just takes it as a joke.

Reply 1

Muttly

Does your Dad work or is he home all the time? I presume your Mum has to deal but doesn't assuming you are under 18? It is her choice to live with such behaviour and to put up with such bizarre antics. Some of the confrontation needed to stop this behaviour should come from her. You should speak to your Mum and make her know exactly what problems your Dad is causing. Can you get a lock on your bedroom door? Do you have any other relatives or friends that you could 'bed down' with for 5 nights of the week to allow yourself to study in peace? Speak to your tutors or someone you trust at school about what is going on here. There is not enough information here to make any judgement on whether this is a mental health issue (contact MIND or Childline) or a narcissist having outbursts as a bully and as an over entitled adult. All you can do is to get as much information as you can and weigh up the options of staying put or moving out to a more sensible household.