Losing Him....
Basically, I met someone online that I really liked, but I can't be with them at all, because I'm really ugly. I have really bad teeth, like really bad, such as cavities and abnormal eruption, as a grew up in a household, where no one ever cared for me, I was neglected quite badly and all... obviously bad teeth is a dealbreaker for many people (and rightfully so). I don't have the money for braces or proper dental care. I mean, cavities are permanent, there's no fixing that, even if I had the money.
How do I get over the fact that I'm undesirable?
How do I get over the fact that I'm undesirable?
Scroll to see replies
Reply 1
If you can get universal credit, you will be able to get free dental care. Go to a dentist that takes NHS and tell them you need to get your teeth fix (say you're in pain even if you aren't) and see what they say. They may give you options with regards to treatment and payment.
Reply 2
21
Original post
by AnonymousBasically, I met someone online that I really liked, but I can't be with them at all, because I'm really ugly. I have really bad teeth, like really bad, such as cavities and abnormal eruption, as a grew up in a household, where no one ever cared for me, I was neglected quite badly and all... obviously bad teeth is a dealbreaker for many people (and rightfully so). I don't have the money for braces or proper dental care. I mean, cavities are permanent, there's no fixing that, even if I had the money.
How do I get over the fact that I'm undesirable?
How do I get over the fact that I'm undesirable?
what do you mean cavities are pernament? i mean, they don't magically disappear but you just get composite fillings to fix them, which are white and look just like part of your tooth? the nhs dentist is free if you're under 18 and in full time education?
that's a crazy reason to give up on dating tbh.
Reply 3
Original post
by Ciel.what do you mean cavities are pernament? i mean, they don't magically disappear but you just get composite fillings to fix them, which are white and look just like part of your tooth? the nhs dentist is free if you're under 18 and in full time education?
that's a crazy reason to give up on dating tbh.
that's a crazy reason to give up on dating tbh.
Hi Ciel, I'm 21.
Reply 4
21
Original post
by AnonymousHi Ciel, I'm 21.
then i assume you do have some source of income? why not fix your teeth then? i get it's expensive, but perhaps one tooth a month might be doable?
Reply 5
Original post
by migroseIf you can get universal credit, you will be able to get free dental care. Go to a dentist that takes NHS and tell them you need to get your teeth fix (say you're in pain even if you aren't) and see what they say. They may give you options with regards to treatment and payment.
Hi migrose. I don't get Universal Credit, and it's very difficult to get NHS dental care, let alone free dental care. There's simply nothing I can do, than just abandon him.
Reply 6
Unless I’m missing something they haven’t rejected you, and may not even know what you look like. This is all relating to self esteem?
Reply 7
Have you actually gone to the dentist? Join one and make an appointment for a dental check. Look into this scheme with regards to cost NHS Low Income Scheme (LIS) - NHS. It will be a long process getting teeth fixed but you can try white teeth covers in the meantime. Google white teeth covers and see what you think. Tell your friend if the subject comes up that you know you're teeth are bad but you are looking into getting them fixed but its costly. If he's nice, he will understand. If he's not, then don't waste your time but still go to the dentist. I feel sure they will have solutions because they are in that profession and may have solutions that we don't have.
Reply 8
Original post
by Ciel.then i assume you do have some source of income? why not fix your teeth then? i get it's expensive, but perhaps one tooth a month might be doable?
No, I don't have a source of income (yet.) I have job interviews lined up, but no actual job, like I said in my original post, teeth is a reasonable dealbreaker, and people are allowed to do as they please.
Reply 9
21
Original post
by AnonymousNo, I don't have a source of income (yet.) I have job interviews lined up, but no actual job, like I said in my original post, teeth is a reasonable dealbreaker, and people are allowed to do as they please.
well, the other poster said you're automatically entitled to free treatment if you're unemployed, so what's stopping you from taking advantage of that?
Reply 10
Yes, please go to the job centre and sign onto unemployment benefit now known as universal credit.
Universal Credit: How to claim - GOV.UK
Universal Credit: How to claim - GOV.UK
Reply 11
There have been cases of cavities healing naturally, without intervention from a dentist.
It involves eating a lot of the right sort of things for teeth health and cutting out all the wrong things.
The chief wrong thing is added sugar.
Even then, there's no guarantee of success. And it should be seen as something you should do to promote good general health and if any cavities improve naturally then that's an added unexpected bonus.
With it also making a lot of sense to change what you eat and drink so you don't get more cavities.
Cavities are so painful and have so much of an effect on quality of life that visits to the dentist for treatment make a lot of sense.
Go ahead and meet this person you've met online.
Aim to have the frame the frame that you are an attractive person regardless of your teeth. With you compensating for your teeth in other ways. Such as you being fun, positive, empathetic, enthusiastic, wise.
People that go through hardships as a child can develop into the very best adults.
There's a lot to be said for someone that's gone through hell and has internalised it well.
As opposed to someone that was spoilt and has never developed maturity.
It may not be a fact that you're undesirable. It may be a fact that you are already highly desirable. And that it's just your self image that isn't a reflection of reality
And if you are truly undesirable, there's loads that you can do, that's all within your control to become highly desirable.
Either way, part of the process of overcoming your limiting beliefs OR turning into a desirable person is to meet people in real life and to interact with them.
There are no real downsides to you meeting this person. Only upsides.
It involves eating a lot of the right sort of things for teeth health and cutting out all the wrong things.
The chief wrong thing is added sugar.
Even then, there's no guarantee of success. And it should be seen as something you should do to promote good general health and if any cavities improve naturally then that's an added unexpected bonus.
With it also making a lot of sense to change what you eat and drink so you don't get more cavities.
Cavities are so painful and have so much of an effect on quality of life that visits to the dentist for treatment make a lot of sense.
Go ahead and meet this person you've met online.
Aim to have the frame the frame that you are an attractive person regardless of your teeth. With you compensating for your teeth in other ways. Such as you being fun, positive, empathetic, enthusiastic, wise.
People that go through hardships as a child can develop into the very best adults.
There's a lot to be said for someone that's gone through hell and has internalised it well.
As opposed to someone that was spoilt and has never developed maturity.
It may not be a fact that you're undesirable. It may be a fact that you are already highly desirable. And that it's just your self image that isn't a reflection of reality
And if you are truly undesirable, there's loads that you can do, that's all within your control to become highly desirable.
Either way, part of the process of overcoming your limiting beliefs OR turning into a desirable person is to meet people in real life and to interact with them.
There are no real downsides to you meeting this person. Only upsides.
Reply 12
21
Original post
by Dunnig KrugerThere have been cases of cavities healing naturally, without intervention from a dentist.
It involves eating a lot of the right sort of things for teeth health and cutting out all the wrong things.
The chief wrong thing is added sugar.
Even then, there's no guarantee of success. And it should be seen as something you should do to promote good general health and if any cavities improve naturally then that's an added unexpected bonus.
With it also making a lot of sense to change what you eat and drink so you don't get more cavities.
Cavities are so painful and have so much of an effect on quality of life that visits to the dentist for treatment make a lot of sense.
Go ahead and meet this person you've met online.
Aim to have the frame the frame that you are an attractive person regardless of your teeth. With you compensating for your teeth in other ways. Such as you being fun, positive, empathetic, enthusiastic, wise.
People that go through hardships as a child can develop into the very best adults.
There's a lot to be said for someone that's gone through hell and has internalised it well.
As opposed to someone that was spoilt and has never developed maturity.
It may not be a fact that you're undesirable. It may be a fact that you are already highly desirable. And that it's just your self image that isn't a reflection of reality
And if you are truly undesirable, there's loads that you can do, that's all within your control to become highly desirable.
Either way, part of the process of overcoming your limiting beliefs OR turning into a desirable person is to meet people in real life and to interact with them.
There are no real downsides to you meeting this person. Only upsides.
It involves eating a lot of the right sort of things for teeth health and cutting out all the wrong things.
The chief wrong thing is added sugar.
Even then, there's no guarantee of success. And it should be seen as something you should do to promote good general health and if any cavities improve naturally then that's an added unexpected bonus.
With it also making a lot of sense to change what you eat and drink so you don't get more cavities.
Cavities are so painful and have so much of an effect on quality of life that visits to the dentist for treatment make a lot of sense.
Go ahead and meet this person you've met online.
Aim to have the frame the frame that you are an attractive person regardless of your teeth. With you compensating for your teeth in other ways. Such as you being fun, positive, empathetic, enthusiastic, wise.
People that go through hardships as a child can develop into the very best adults.
There's a lot to be said for someone that's gone through hell and has internalised it well.
As opposed to someone that was spoilt and has never developed maturity.
It may not be a fact that you're undesirable. It may be a fact that you are already highly desirable. And that it's just your self image that isn't a reflection of reality
And if you are truly undesirable, there's loads that you can do, that's all within your control to become highly desirable.
Either way, part of the process of overcoming your limiting beliefs OR turning into a desirable person is to meet people in real life and to interact with them.
There are no real downsides to you meeting this person. Only upsides.
i don't think eating anything could possibly heal a cavity tbh (i know some people make wild claims like that on social media though). but if a cavity is very, very small, like in the beginning stages, it can be possible to remineralize the tooth by using a hydroxyapatite-based toothpaste. apagard (japanese) is one of the best ones on the market.
Reply 13
Original post
by migroseHave you actually gone to the dentist? Join one and make an appointment for a dental check. Look into this scheme with regards to cost NHS Low Income Scheme (LIS) - NHS. It will be a long process getting teeth fixed but you can try white teeth covers in the meantime. Google white teeth covers and see what you think. Tell your friend if the subject comes up that you know you're teeth are bad but you are looking into getting them fixed but its costly. If he's nice, he will understand. If he's not, then don't waste your time but still go to the dentist. I feel sure they will have solutions because they are in that profession and may have solutions that we don't have.
The last time I went to a dentist was June 2023, but I had to pay privately, because that was the option I had. They gave me 2 ugly, silver fillings. They were meant to give me 3 fillings, but my dentist was a temp dentist, so she eventually left. They basically told me I would go through the whole process again, if I want the third filling....
I had abnormal eruption, since I was 11. I remember being 12 or 13 and asking my dentist for braces, but he said my teeth weren't "that bad." Everyone knows that if you are under 16, you can get braces for free on the NHS, and now I'm 21, I no longer qualify for free braces, I have to pay thousands for braces nowadays. Why am I still dealing with the same problem 10+ years later? It's so upsetting, and I didn't even have the cavities that I do now, at that that time. Why am I having to deal with a problem, as an adult, that should have been dealt with as a child?
I have a misaligned jaw and protruding teeth as well. My bad teeth is one of the reasons why I have depression.
Reply 14
Original post
by Admit-OneUnless I’m missing something they haven’t rejected you, and may not even know what you look like. This is all relating to self esteem?
They do know want I look like, based on my pictures, but I smile with my mouth, not my teeth, so they haven't seen my nasty smile.
Reply 15
Is there anywhere you can get honest, accurate feedback on your looks?
Any friends or relatives you can rely on to give you this?
Someone that won't pull any punches when you ask them not to. Someone that won't sugar coat things when you ask them not to. Someone that won't be overly harsh. Someone that won't make a mountain out of a molehill?
It could be that you have a breath-takingly beautiful body with beautiful hair, a gorgeous nose and eyes and that you are overall beautiful enough to motivate the majority of men to want to get involved with you.
Nobody is perfect. And if your teeth are your biggest physical imperfection, you're onto a winner, looks wise.
It's also possible that your teeth are not your biggest physical imperfection. Bearing in mind the sort of high sugar diet that leads to cavities is also prodding the risk factors for becoming overweight or obese.
And then there's inner beauty. You come across as someone with a reasonable amount of inner beauty that has the potential to have a huge amount of inner beauty.
For every woman that I've met via online means, I haven't been able to tell it was her from her photos in the various busy public locations we've met at. The woman I was there to meet could have been any one from a few of the passers by.
Most of them have been less physically attractive than their photos. One more attractive, and one equally attractive.
Online photos mean diddly squat. Any reasonable man will make allowance for that. And will go into a first date with an open mind.
Any friends or relatives you can rely on to give you this?
Someone that won't pull any punches when you ask them not to. Someone that won't sugar coat things when you ask them not to. Someone that won't be overly harsh. Someone that won't make a mountain out of a molehill?
It could be that you have a breath-takingly beautiful body with beautiful hair, a gorgeous nose and eyes and that you are overall beautiful enough to motivate the majority of men to want to get involved with you.
Nobody is perfect. And if your teeth are your biggest physical imperfection, you're onto a winner, looks wise.
It's also possible that your teeth are not your biggest physical imperfection. Bearing in mind the sort of high sugar diet that leads to cavities is also prodding the risk factors for becoming overweight or obese.
And then there's inner beauty. You come across as someone with a reasonable amount of inner beauty that has the potential to have a huge amount of inner beauty.
For every woman that I've met via online means, I haven't been able to tell it was her from her photos in the various busy public locations we've met at. The woman I was there to meet could have been any one from a few of the passers by.
Most of them have been less physically attractive than their photos. One more attractive, and one equally attractive.
Online photos mean diddly squat. Any reasonable man will make allowance for that. And will go into a first date with an open mind.
(edited 10 months ago)
Reply 16
Original post
by AnonymousThey do know want I look like, based on my pictures, but I smile with my mouth, not my teeth, so they haven't seen my nasty smile.
So they know what you look like, and enjoy messaging you. Sounds like a good start to me.
Also it sounds like you had dental work done around 18 months ago. Granted any misalignment or whatnot might not have been sorted then, but otherwise you've got 2 fillings which you deem ugly, and one that needs sorting. That part certainly isn't the end of the world.
Reply 17
Original post
by AnonymousBasically, I met someone online that I really liked, but I can't be with them at all, because I'm really ugly. I have really bad teeth, like really bad, such as cavities and abnormal eruption, as a grew up in a household, where no one ever cared for me, I was neglected quite badly and all... obviously bad teeth is a dealbreaker for many people (and rightfully so). I don't have the money for braces or proper dental care. I mean, cavities are permanent, there's no fixing that, even if I had the money.
How do I get over the fact that I'm undesirable?
How do I get over the fact that I'm undesirable?
Don't get over the fact that you're undesirable - just don't focus on it at all. From your responses it seems like you're in a situation where you either don't want to do anything about it or can't (it doesn't matter which one - not until you get an opportunity). Just don't date. Don't focus on dating, don't think about it, etc.
Reply 18
Original post
by AnonymousDon't get over the fact that you're undesirable - just don't focus on it at all. From your responses it seems like you're in a situation where you either don't want to do anything about it or can't (it doesn't matter which one - not until you get an opportunity). Just don't date. Don't focus on dating, don't think about it, etc.
Why does anyone think I don't want to do it? I have been trying to take action, since I was a child. It can't be done.
Reply 19
When I was 8 or 9, I was eating a Fruitella chew, and it got stuck on the roof of my mouth, and left quite a noticeable and permanent black mark in my mouth.
Quick Reply
Related discussions
- boyfriend blames me for not getting better
- Losing VCARD
- Relationships
- is this what a first love is?
- Addiction
- Going to a party while having a bf
- My bsf accusing me of liking him?
- My teacher lied about me fainting, what do I do?
- I’m 20 years old and am extremely depressed. I need someone to talk to.
- Not sure what to do about this girl
- iDEA - Life Hacks 2 of 5
- Am i the problen
- HELP! what do i do??
- Losing feelings?
- Apprenticeship in Motorsport after GCSE - what can I do to make it happen?
- How to stop thinking about a guy
- random guy in my college class passed me a note asking if I'm single?
- Getting over a crush
- Hooking up with a tutor I will never see again
- I Kinda Like My Best Friend
Latest
Trending
Last reply 1 month ago
What food item are you currently craving?Last reply 2 months ago
Domino's pizza personal size vs small sizeLast reply 4 months ago
Am I the only one who hates holidays especially the summer holidays?Last reply 5 months ago
Anyone else been out of work for 9 years in a row?Last reply 5 months ago
parents wont let me take the course i want to takeLast reply 6 months ago
How do I tell my instructor I don't want lessons with her anymore?Last reply 6 months ago
Where can I find good-quality alternatives to luxury fashion clothing?
How The Student Room is moderated
To keep The Student Room safe for everyone, we moderate posts that are added to the site.
