advice and thoughts on my situation :)

i just wanted to ask for advice and see what other people's pov was of what I will write in this post. I'm a brown Muslim girl living with my parents while I attend uni. my parents are somewhat strict when it comes to religion and my general way of life. i had some issues with alcohol about a year or 2 ago and since then my relationship with Islam has not been the same at all. I don't really fully practice it atm (except right now as I do fast and try to pray while fasting) but I do really value it in my day to day life. i basically only wear a hijab because I have to at this point and it makes me feel terrible because I hate lying about things like this to anyone really. i wanna move out and just live the way I want to and without being judged. idk if it sounds selfish but it really is driving me crazy. i also have a weird living arrangement with my parents as they are separated but still live together (with me ofc) and the relationship between me and my mother in particular is absolutely draining. gaslighting, emotional blackmail and back -chat while I clean and cook for her, shes disowned me at one point too so even though she can be nice to me I know what she is really like. my relationship with dad is a lot better but he is also quite pushy when it comes to my faith and that stresses me out more cuz really deep down I just want to be able to make my parents happy which sort of ****es me off lmao.

what do you think after reading this? thoughts? advice?