Boyfriend crisis
12
My boyfriend spends all his free time with his friends and games... I see mine like once every 2 weeks, he calls and texts his friends almost every day and now all of a sudden they invite him out all the time on the only days where i don’t have work or school or my family doesn’t need me, while he doesn’t have a job and just sits on his ass all day after school playing games, sometimes too busy to even text me but not busy enough for his friends. He knows that I have a busy schedule, used to call me clingy and saying he wants space (but he's fine with calling his friends all the time, his excuse being that he doesn't like face to face) because his friend was complaining about not being able to call when I could see him. Now whenever I can see him his friend somehow invites him out. He even used to complain about not seeing him when I was on holiday, he could have seen his friends then every day but all of a sudden I come back home they are all over him and won't leave him alone. Sometimes they even call him late in the night to come play, which is the only time I get to talk to him for the whole day. It's just unfair how I sacrifice myself for him so much, spend most of my money to treat him, see him anytime I can, get him everything while he's an a**hat who plays games all the time and never bothers to even try in life, preferring to be with his friends and doing things with them while he refuses to do anything fun with me... I want to leave him for this but I don't know how well I can take it since I still love him, I don't know how I can loose my feelings for him so it doesn't hurt, I begged him to change but it only lasts for a week
Reply 1
If you have raised it and he hasn't done anything to address the issue, I don't really see what option you have other than to end things.
Unfortunately all breakups hurt, but so does being treated badly.
Unfortunately all breakups hurt, but so does being treated badly.
Reply 2
I'm assuming you're referring to school in the UK sense of the term and not the USA.
You're both teenagers. It's unreasonable to expect either of you to have the maturity levels required for a great / wonderful / beautiful / magical relationship.
The root cause of his behaviour is his lack of maturity. The reason he lacks maturity is that he's a schoolboy.
This is all fine. This is all part of you and him growing up, trying things, doing them not very well, and learning and gaining experience from it all.
One big lesson you should learn from this is to not be a doormat. Being a doormat tends to decrease the interest and attraction. Being a "positive challenge" increases the interest and attraction.
Don't spend most of your money on your boyfriend. Love should be independent of the money spent. Give him nothing for his birthday, Christmas, Valentines.
Be great company for him when you're together. Good fun, positive, enthusiastic, rock solid good mood, plenty of jokes thrown into the conversation. When you're apart get on with your life. Meet your friends as often as you want.
Never ever try to change your boyfriend. Never continue to see a boyfriend in the hope that he will change. Either tolerate him or dump him. You can try to influence him. Influencing him is more subtle and clever than trying to change him.
You're both teenagers. It's unreasonable to expect either of you to have the maturity levels required for a great / wonderful / beautiful / magical relationship.
The root cause of his behaviour is his lack of maturity. The reason he lacks maturity is that he's a schoolboy.
This is all fine. This is all part of you and him growing up, trying things, doing them not very well, and learning and gaining experience from it all.
One big lesson you should learn from this is to not be a doormat. Being a doormat tends to decrease the interest and attraction. Being a "positive challenge" increases the interest and attraction.
Don't spend most of your money on your boyfriend. Love should be independent of the money spent. Give him nothing for his birthday, Christmas, Valentines.
Be great company for him when you're together. Good fun, positive, enthusiastic, rock solid good mood, plenty of jokes thrown into the conversation. When you're apart get on with your life. Meet your friends as often as you want.
Never ever try to change your boyfriend. Never continue to see a boyfriend in the hope that he will change. Either tolerate him or dump him. You can try to influence him. Influencing him is more subtle and clever than trying to change him.
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