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Should I bother asking her out for a second date?

The date started out okay, it lasted like 90 mins. She went to the toilet- came back saying her friend was nearby and was going to meet her…the date seemed to be okay before that so I’m really confused. She asked if I wanted a second drink before that but I didn’t want one so idk if she maybe got the impression I didn’t like her? I just genuinely didn’t want another drink lol.

She also texted me soon after the date saying she met her friend etc I’ve attached a copy of the messages. Tbh I don’t know if I fancy her but I would be willing to try a second date to see if there’s anything there at all. Idkkkk should I say hey would u be up for another date to see if it’s platonic/ more than that? She was nice but I get the impression I was boring to her I’m overthinking bc I never normally get cut short like this…



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(edited 1 year ago)

Reply 1

I would be inclined to leave it, it wasn’t the best of dates and you’re not sure if you fancy her. A call from a friend and leaving early is a classic ploy women use to get away when they are not feeling it. Far better for your self esteem to leave the ball in her court and look for someone else.

Reply 2

Original post
by EVMD17
The date started out okay, it lasted like 90 mins. She went to the toilet- came back saying her friend was nearby and was going to meet her…the date seemed to be okay before that so I’m really confused. She asked if I wanted a second drink before that but I didn’t want one so idk if she maybe got the impression I didn’t like her? I just genuinely didn’t want another drink lol.
She also texted me soon after the date saying she met her friend etc I’ve attached a copy of the messages. Tbh I don’t know if I fancy her but I would be willing to try a second date to see if there’s anything there at all. Idkkkk should I say hey would u be up for another date to see if it’s platonic/ more than that? She was nice but I get the impression I was boring to her I’m overthinking bc I never normally get cut short like this…
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I suggest that you ask for a second date. Life is not like the movies where dates are perfect, sometimes things happen and it ends awkwardly.

If she is not keen, then you drop it. Else, don't play yourself by overthinking it.

Reply 3

Original post
by Dunnig Kruger
Phone her and have a chat this afternoon or evening. Lasting about 2 minutes. Keep the chat bright and breezy. Pick up on one or two things said or done during the date that you can joke about, for example by hugely exaggerating them.
During the phone call don't confess your feelings towards her. Don't be negative. Feel free to tease and flirt with her a little bit - in the right kind of socially calibrated way.
Don't mention a 2nd date. If she suggests it or brings up the subject, you should tell her that you think she's had a great idea and you agree with her that you should go on a 2nd date, with you perhaps arranging a 2nd date there and then.
If she tells you that she doesn't want to meet you again, make a joke of it. Say something like "On no account should you meet me again. We'd only get divorced. And it would be a messy one."
The idea behind you not mentioning a 2nd date during this phone call (if she doesn't) is that you want to leave her wondering why you didn't ask her for one, as that's what most men would do. With you also making it clear through your tone of voice and general banter that you feel positive emotions towards her and starting to give her the impression that you're a cool, fun guy to be with.
Avoid texting her multiple times per day.
After this phone call, leave it a day or two and then reach out to her and try to see when you're both available for a 2nd date. With you giving the impression that you have other stuff going on in your life so that there's only 1 or 2 days per week when you can see her.
On your next date, whether it's with her or someone else, deploy more Game. More looking to put her at ease and giving her an enjoyable hour with you. More jokes, more non-insulting teasing, more flirting, more push pulls, a little bit of you disqualifying why the 2 of you might not be able to become an item (even if it's as simple as joking "You're not going to get into my knickers tonight"), physical escalation calibrated to her feelings, you opening up to her and being vulnerable via telling anecdotes.


everything you put in quotation marks shouldnt be said.. that seems like something a creep would say lol

Reply 4

Original post
by Dunnig Kruger
So, agreeing with a rejection in a jokey way is something a creep would say?
Women use lines like "You're not going to get inside my knickers tonight" all the time. Are they being creeps when they say that, or things like that?

"Women use lines like 'You're not going to get inside my knickers tonight' all the time"

No they don't 😅 in maybe 30 years of pretty promiscuous dating I've heard that phrase maybe twice It's not common.

Reply 5

Original post
by Dunnig Kruger
So, agreeing with a rejection in a jokey way is something a creep would say?
Women use lines like "You're not going to get inside my knickers tonight" all the time. Are they being creeps when they say that, or things like that?

i dont know what women you’ve met but it goes both ways- atleast to me, as a woman, that is an extremely weird thing to say…

Reply 6

Original post
by Anonymous
everything you put in quotation marks shouldnt be said.. that seems like something a creep would say lol

Yeah I simply wanted to get 2nd opinions on if I should ask for another date…not make her wanting a restraining order from me lmaooo

Reply 7

Original post
by EVMD17
Yeah I simply wanted to get 2nd opinions on if I should ask for another date…not make her wanting a restraining order from me lmaooo

I would say "I would like to take you up on that second drink you offered, as I am thirsty now" See what she says.

Reply 8

Original post
by Anonymous
I would say "I would like to take you up on that second drink you offered, as I am thirsty now" See what she says.

I mentioned getting coffee and she said this “Hey!! I’m not sure - I had a really nice time with you the other night and I think you seem really cool but I don’t think I felt a connection and wouldn’t want to waste your time. Thank you for a lovely night tho :-)” so I guess that’s that. Feeling bummed out rn tbf but I’ll get over it

Reply 9

Original post
by EVMD17
I mentioned getting coffee and she said this “Hey!! I’m not sure - I had a really nice time with you the other night and I think you seem really cool but I don’t think I felt a connection and wouldn’t want to waste your time. Thank you for a lovely night tho :-)” so I guess that’s that. Feeling bummed out rn tbf but I’ll get over it

Nice message. There are many setbacks on the path to true love. I have found that dating needs patience and resilience. Makes it all the sweeter when something good works out.

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