How much should i tell my boyfriend
Hi!
So, we have been dating 3 months now, we had some time to share personal bits of our lives but obviously not the crazy things yet. I have bad anxiety and depression, and I feel comfy telling him about my anxiety as it affects me more. He knows im an overthinker.
But depression is another story- I worry that he is depressed, he stopped meeting up a lot and says theres family issues going on and in general he seems tired a lot. But he admitted he doesnt want to say anything because hes "oldfashioned and believes men should get on with their problems", which i really disagree with and want him to share more!
But it got me thinking, I had a period of my life where i was very scidal, depressed and SH myself. It sometimes comes back in bouts, if i get low moods. Recently i have been very depressed because we dont do much together now, as ive said hes withdrawn. Should i tell him im depressed? Or would that add extra stress onto him because he seems depressed too? Idk how to go about this...
So, we have been dating 3 months now, we had some time to share personal bits of our lives but obviously not the crazy things yet. I have bad anxiety and depression, and I feel comfy telling him about my anxiety as it affects me more. He knows im an overthinker.
But depression is another story- I worry that he is depressed, he stopped meeting up a lot and says theres family issues going on and in general he seems tired a lot. But he admitted he doesnt want to say anything because hes "oldfashioned and believes men should get on with their problems", which i really disagree with and want him to share more!
But it got me thinking, I had a period of my life where i was very scidal, depressed and SH myself. It sometimes comes back in bouts, if i get low moods. Recently i have been very depressed because we dont do much together now, as ive said hes withdrawn. Should i tell him im depressed? Or would that add extra stress onto him because he seems depressed too? Idk how to go about this...
Reply 1
Original post by Anonymous
Hi!
So, we have been dating 3 months now, we had some time to share personal bits of our lives but obviously not the crazy things yet. I have bad anxiety and depression, and I feel comfy telling him about my anxiety as it affects me more. He knows im an overthinker.
But depression is another story- I worry that he is depressed, he stopped meeting up a lot and says theres family issues going on and in general he seems tired a lot. But he admitted he doesnt want to say anything because hes "oldfashioned and believes men should get on with their problems", which i really disagree with and want him to share more!
But it got me thinking, I had a period of my life where i was very scidal, depressed and SH myself. It sometimes comes back in bouts, if i get low moods. Recently i have been very depressed because we dont do much together now, as ive said hes withdrawn. Should i tell him im depressed? Or would that add extra stress onto him because he seems depressed too? Idk how to go about this...
So, we have been dating 3 months now, we had some time to share personal bits of our lives but obviously not the crazy things yet. I have bad anxiety and depression, and I feel comfy telling him about my anxiety as it affects me more. He knows im an overthinker.
But depression is another story- I worry that he is depressed, he stopped meeting up a lot and says theres family issues going on and in general he seems tired a lot. But he admitted he doesnt want to say anything because hes "oldfashioned and believes men should get on with their problems", which i really disagree with and want him to share more!
But it got me thinking, I had a period of my life where i was very scidal, depressed and SH myself. It sometimes comes back in bouts, if i get low moods. Recently i have been very depressed because we dont do much together now, as ive said hes withdrawn. Should i tell him im depressed? Or would that add extra stress onto him because he seems depressed too? Idk how to go about this...
Open communication is crucial in a relationship.
Reply 2
Original post by ModernNatural
Open communication is crucial in a relationship.
hi, i know this but what do i do if he refuses to say anything, should i push him?
Reply 3
Original post by Anonymous
hi, i know this but what do i do if he refuses to say anything, should i push him?
You must feel comfortable sharing things with your partner without fearing the response or feeling apprehensive, and he must do the same.
Communication, trust, honesty, commitment, empathy and support are essential components of a strong relationship, and so is being open, emotionally available, and spending quality time together.
I think you might need to consider evaluating your relationship because you shouldn’t be walking on eggshells when it comes to your partner.
Reply 4
Original post by Anonymous
Hi!
So, we have been dating 3 months now, we had some time to share personal bits of our lives but obviously not the crazy things yet. I have bad anxiety and depression, and I feel comfy telling him about my anxiety as it affects me more. He knows im an overthinker.
But depression is another story- I worry that he is depressed, he stopped meeting up a lot and says theres family issues going on and in general he seems tired a lot. But he admitted he doesnt want to say anything because hes "oldfashioned and believes men should get on with their problems", which i really disagree with and want him to share more!
But it got me thinking, I had a period of my life where i was very scidal, depressed and SH myself. It sometimes comes back in bouts, if i get low moods. Recently i have been very depressed because we dont do much together now, as ive said hes withdrawn. Should i tell him im depressed? Or would that add extra stress onto him because he seems depressed too? Idk how to go about this...
So, we have been dating 3 months now, we had some time to share personal bits of our lives but obviously not the crazy things yet. I have bad anxiety and depression, and I feel comfy telling him about my anxiety as it affects me more. He knows im an overthinker.
But depression is another story- I worry that he is depressed, he stopped meeting up a lot and says theres family issues going on and in general he seems tired a lot. But he admitted he doesnt want to say anything because hes "oldfashioned and believes men should get on with their problems", which i really disagree with and want him to share more!
But it got me thinking, I had a period of my life where i was very scidal, depressed and SH myself. It sometimes comes back in bouts, if i get low moods. Recently i have been very depressed because we dont do much together now, as ive said hes withdrawn. Should i tell him im depressed? Or would that add extra stress onto him because he seems depressed too? Idk how to go about this...
It's really positive that you are seeking advice around this as you are opening up a discussion that will be useful to many. It feels like you are open and honest about your mental health concerns but are conflicted about telling your Boyfriend because he is not where you are in terms of his own mental health. Being honest in a relationship is important and maybe by you sharing your experience it may support him to share too, despite his feelings around men and mental health, which can be a common reaction. It may be worth taking a look at this link, you could share it with him if you feel it's right.- https://giveusashout.org/get-help/resources/mens-mental-health. If either of you are feeling like suicide is an option right now, you can call Hopeline247 on 0800 068 14 14 or text on 88247 to speak to a trained suicide prevention adviser who will be more than happy to help.
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