How to make friends
Reply 1
You should join societies and clubs. You’d probably meet a decent number of people who don’t drink.
Reply 2
Hey there @Gfdgjvvdduu , as a non drinker myself I would suggest going for socials events like (eg. movie nights, quizzes or walks) organised by the student union or societies. Joining clubs and societies regularly are also a great way to meet people outside of your course of study 🙂 I hope this helps.
Zhi En
(Kingston Student Rep.)
Reply 3
Hi there,
There are so many ways to make friends if you don't drink! I don't drink either, and while it can be tough, I've managed to make some great friends at university.
Have you considered joining a sport or society? I'm sure you know they host socials, but many will also host sober socials, which is a great way to get out and have a little fun without drinking. If none of them interest you, are there any clubs in your town/city that you can join? Volunteering is a great way to meet new people too. It also looks great on your resume, and I've found that a lot of the people who volunteer are not interested in drinking regularly! I've also met some great people through my part-time job as a student ambassador.
Have you tried talking to people on your course yet? A simple way to start would be to ask them about something class related or pay them a compliment. From there, suggesting to study together or go grab a coffee is a simple, low-commitment way to get to know them.
Depending on the accommodation you are in, you can always try to get to know people here. I met my current friends in my first-year accommodation, and we don't drink. You can always try to talk about something when you see people in the kitchen!
I hope this helps, and best of luck! 🙂
Isabella
Fourth-Year Geography (With a Year Abroad)
Reply 4
There are so many ways to make friends if you don't drink! I don't drink either, and while it can be tough, I've managed to make some great friends at university.
Have you considered joining a sport or society? I'm sure you know they host socials, but many will also host sober socials, which is a great way to get out and have a little fun without drinking. If none of them interest you, are there any clubs in your town/city that you can join? Volunteering is a great way to meet new people too. It also looks great on your resume, and I've found that a lot of the people who volunteer are not interested in drinking regularly! I've also met some great people through my part-time job as a student ambassador.
Have you tried talking to people on your course yet? A simple way to start would be to ask them about something class related or pay them a compliment. From there, suggesting to study together or go grab a coffee is a simple, low-commitment way to get to know them.
Depending on the accommodation you are in, you can always try to get to know people here. I met my current friends in my first-year accommodation, and we don't drink. You can always try to talk about something when you see people in the kitchen!
I hope this helps, and best of luck! 🙂
Isabella
Fourth-Year Geography (With a Year Abroad)
This is really helpful, I'm still in secondary school and find if my friends do go out, they only want to drink, I feel really uncomfortable because I'm ruining their fun.
Reply 5
I'm glad to hear this is helpful for you!
I definitely understand how you feel. In sixth form, I often didn't go out because I found my friends just wanted to drink, so I became quite lonely. It just isn't my idea of a good time, haha.
It can get better though. I'd just say make sure you really put yourself out there in those first few weeks/months, and I'm confident you will find your people. University is full of people with different backgrounds, interests, and preferences, which is what makes it so great!
I hope this helps you to look forward to your university journey! 🙂
Isabella
Reply 6
Hi there!
I think nowadays most unis are more forward-thinking in emphasising events for non-drinkers as well as those who drink, so there is a lot you can do!
1.
Join a society you like the look of - fun way to meet people with similar interests and socials are for both non-drinkers and drinkers
2.
Ask people around you if they want to grab coffee after a lecture - there will be many more people than you imagine just like you who just want to be friendly and meet people
3.
Does your course involve group work? If so, why not ask your group out for a celebratory lunch or dinner in town after you submit an assignment? Or even just a coffee between lectures?
4.
Have you considered applying to be a student ambassador or other part-time work on campus? This can be a very fun way to get involved with all kinds of work, earn some money and meet students from other years and courses.
5.
Have you considered becoming a PAL/Peer mentor? Where you'd share your knowledge with students from the year below you in your course and give them assignment tips. Perhaps not something for first year but give it a thought for second year!
It takes people quite a long time to find people they really click with so don't worry if things are slow - this is normal and as you settle more into your course you'll find you get plenty of unexpected opportunities to meet new people.
I hope this helps, best of luck and keep putting yourself out there!
Holly
University of Bath
Reply 7
Hi @Gfdgjvvdduu ,
I feel like this is quite a common misconception that you can't make friends if you don't drink at university, however this is definitely not the case. You will not be holding anybody back so don't feel like this as this is not the case at all. Here are some ways that you can friends at uni that do not involve drinking:
•
Look on social media. There will often be groups on social media such as Facebook where you can meet people who will be on your course or just at your uni in general which is a good way of meeting people. There may also be groups for your halls, so have a look and see if you can find these and make friends with anyone this way who you can then meet up with when you are at uni!
•
Join societies! There will be lots at your uni and there is usually something for everyone so make sure you have a look and see if there are any that take your fancy! I feel like this is a common misconception too that you have to drink if you join societies, however there are lots where the socials don't involve drinking so just have a look and see what might suit you the best.
•
You could also have a look and see if there are any groups or clubs in the local area that you could join. There will often be some groups and sports clubs locally which is always a good idea to join just to widen your circle of friends! It's worth looking, even if you are unsure if it is for you.
•
This may seem obvious, but make sure you are going to your lectures and seminars. I know this is what you should be doing anyway, but it can be easy to slip into the habit of not going, however this is a great way of meeting people in an environment which does not involve drinking and you can then ask them to do things with you that aren't drinking e.g. go for a coffee, go shopping etc.
•
Have a look and see if your student union puts any events on. Often the SU will put different events on and these are great ways of meeting people. These often don't involve drinking and can be things such as trips to other cities, cinema trips or cafe trips. They are usually fun and a good way of meeting some new people!
I hope some of these help and you have a great time at University,
Lucy - SHU student ambassador 🙂
Reply 8
Hey!This is a totally normal worry to have, I know this was my main worry when coming to uni. But now that I have done the transition and now in my third year at BU, I look back and wonder why I ever worried about it. I think my biggest advice would be to remember everyone is in the same boat, the majority of people coming to uni will not know anyone there. You would be surprised how much easier it is to make friends, when everyone around you is trying to do the same!
If you are thinking of moving into halls or a shared house, this will be a great way to meet new people. The people I moved in with in first year, have ended up being some of my closest friends through uni. Also, most unis have societies, these are clubs that can be about anything. For example, at BU we have over 80 societies, ranging from sports, course focused, films, Taylor Swift and many more.
And finally most unis, like BU, offer events at the start of first year, targeted at helping students make friends. For example, BU host a big Freshers Fair, many different Student Union events and different club nights.But overall I would just say don't worry! You are not alone in how you are feeling and uni is a great way to make friends! ☺️
Wishing you all the best!
Kelly
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