(TW) figuring out I was SA’d as a child
It’s in the title, trigger warning.
I’d like to start things off with I’m in no pain, immediate danger or upset. In fact I don’t really know how to feel as this happened years ago and I’ve just kind of had an “ah-ha” moment.
So here’s the story of how I figured it out
I was lying in bed watching TikTok when a mum stated that a lot of her daughters parents didn’t allow sleepovers and how she thought this was devastating because she had so many great memories from sleepovers when she was younger.
So as anyone would, I started thinking about the many sleepovers I had when I was younger and this one distinct memory popped to mind
For some background, I often stayed the night at two different places, my best friends house or my mums work friends house, let’s call her Olivia. Now to further preface, my mum had known Olivia for a very long time and Olivia had a daughter who was 2 years older than me, in fact, me and her daughter, lets call her Megan, me and Megan went to the same primary school, went to church together and I even wore her holy communion dress to MY holy communion. So this wasn’t just a random persons house I was going to and I would go over because sometimes I asked and sometimes it was due to childcare.
Anyways, I was staying the night at Olivia and Megan’s house and one day Megan asked me to go with her to her secret hang out, aka under her bunk bed which she covered up with clutter and curtains.
We crawled into this small open space under her bed and she started to tell me about a secret club she had, one which I couldn’t tell her mum about. She called it her sex club… and to be honest, for many years I forgot that she had named this club this way until today, and at the time I didn’t know what sex was. I must have been in year 4 as she was in year 6 as I remember her preparing to go to secondary school, anyways, I played along.
After she said what she did she got undressed and asked me to follow. I remember I declined as I felt uncomfortable getting undressed infront of her. She tried to pressure me and I refused so she moved on. She ended up laying down and asked me to suck her nipples to see if milk would came out, so I did it.
I don’t remember much more to this but I do now remember she tried to get me to touch her vagina another time and it was just all sorts of weird.
And what’s odd about all of this is that I have thought about this memory a handful of times before and never thought too much into it, until I thought about it from the perspective of a mother or in a why not scenario. And now that I’ve made this realisation of that was not ok, I’m honestly left a little speechless because I don’t feel it’s appropriate to speak up about this to my immediate friends or family as I don’t want them to feel like I’m looking for attention or like they should feel sorry for me because I’m genuinely ok and I don’t need to speak to someone about it in a sense of “please help” but in the sense of “I’ve put all the pieces together in my head and I find that very odd, and I just want to get it off my chest”.
So I guess the reason for this LONG entry is to ask if it’s appropriate to bring this up but also just let it off my chest because it’s currently 1:33am
I’d like to start things off with I’m in no pain, immediate danger or upset. In fact I don’t really know how to feel as this happened years ago and I’ve just kind of had an “ah-ha” moment.
So here’s the story of how I figured it out
I was lying in bed watching TikTok when a mum stated that a lot of her daughters parents didn’t allow sleepovers and how she thought this was devastating because she had so many great memories from sleepovers when she was younger.
So as anyone would, I started thinking about the many sleepovers I had when I was younger and this one distinct memory popped to mind
For some background, I often stayed the night at two different places, my best friends house or my mums work friends house, let’s call her Olivia. Now to further preface, my mum had known Olivia for a very long time and Olivia had a daughter who was 2 years older than me, in fact, me and her daughter, lets call her Megan, me and Megan went to the same primary school, went to church together and I even wore her holy communion dress to MY holy communion. So this wasn’t just a random persons house I was going to and I would go over because sometimes I asked and sometimes it was due to childcare.
Anyways, I was staying the night at Olivia and Megan’s house and one day Megan asked me to go with her to her secret hang out, aka under her bunk bed which she covered up with clutter and curtains.
We crawled into this small open space under her bed and she started to tell me about a secret club she had, one which I couldn’t tell her mum about. She called it her sex club… and to be honest, for many years I forgot that she had named this club this way until today, and at the time I didn’t know what sex was. I must have been in year 4 as she was in year 6 as I remember her preparing to go to secondary school, anyways, I played along.
After she said what she did she got undressed and asked me to follow. I remember I declined as I felt uncomfortable getting undressed infront of her. She tried to pressure me and I refused so she moved on. She ended up laying down and asked me to suck her nipples to see if milk would came out, so I did it.
I don’t remember much more to this but I do now remember she tried to get me to touch her vagina another time and it was just all sorts of weird.
And what’s odd about all of this is that I have thought about this memory a handful of times before and never thought too much into it, until I thought about it from the perspective of a mother or in a why not scenario. And now that I’ve made this realisation of that was not ok, I’m honestly left a little speechless because I don’t feel it’s appropriate to speak up about this to my immediate friends or family as I don’t want them to feel like I’m looking for attention or like they should feel sorry for me because I’m genuinely ok and I don’t need to speak to someone about it in a sense of “please help” but in the sense of “I’ve put all the pieces together in my head and I find that very odd, and I just want to get it off my chest”.
So I guess the reason for this LONG entry is to ask if it’s appropriate to bring this up but also just let it off my chest because it’s currently 1:33am
Reply 1
How odd! My jaw actually dropped because of the absurdity. Doesn’t this make you feel like sleepovers are a big no-no? 😭 I’m also currently thinking about a lot too 😹😹
Reply 2
2
Original post
by h.dee11How odd! My jaw actually dropped because of the absurdity. Doesn’t this make you feel like sleepovers are a big no-no? 😭 I’m also currently thinking about a lot too 😹😹
Yes for sure! This makes me panic for my future kids. I just looked through the comments of the tiktok I saw and there’s a term for it. Called Child on child sexual assault. Apparently it’s common from the age of 12-14 that kids may explore dangerous sexual acts!!!!
(edited 11 months ago)
Reply 3
Original post
by ConfusedPoleYes for sure! This makes me panic for my future kids. I just looked through the comments of the tiktok I saw and there’s a term for it. Called Child on cold sexual assault. Apparently it’s common from the age of 12-14 that kids may explore dangerous sexual acts!!!!
This is just terrifying…
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