The Student Room Group

Never had a gf at 16/ ghosted after dates

I am 16 and will be 17 next week.
I go to an all boys school and live in the middle of nowhere where so I don’t really go out much apart from occasionally with my friends and I go to scouts once a week.

I’ve only ever been on 2 dates. After my first date, it went really well, however the girl never text me or got in contact with me after. This was like 2 years ago. I have seen her since and it’s like she just pretends like nothing ever happened. She has a boyfriend now and has done for about a year.

On my second date, with a girl from prom, we went out for a meal, the date was rubbish and we didn’t really click but even still she started kissing me afterwards only to never contact me again.

All my friends have girlfriends and I’m worried that I’m going to be left behind. I want someone who is in the same situation as me and has not lost their v card but I don’t know if this is unrealistic to search for.

I like to think I am quite attractive, I am in shape, I do boxing and. I can speak Spanish. I’m sorry if this sounds a bit long winded but I could just really do with some advice.

Is it unrealistic to look for a girl who hasn’t lost their v card?

Thanks
You are still very young, and you're not going to get left behind with any of this. The notion of being left behind is a nonsense anyway. This stuff isn't a competition. You progress through these stages and gain experience as and when you come across the right person and/or situation. It's not unrealistic to look for a girl who is still a virgin, but it makes no sense at all to not go out or have sex with a girl solely because she is not a virgin. Even girls who have had sex around your age are unlikely to really have much idea at all of what they're doing when it comes to sex. The whole point of sex is that you learn more and get better as you do it, and that process never really stops, even into your 20s, 30s and beyond. A large part of the fun is going on that journey with other people. Sex is great, but it can also be awkward, embarrassing and messy, and will be those things at times irrespective of whether or not the girl that you have sex with is a virgin. So I really wouldn't worry about that, or indeed any of this. Just carry on with what you're doing, and your time will come.

Reply 2

You're so young you don't need to worry about all of this yet

Reply 3

Why are people so desperate to lose their virginity? Like, can't some things be sacred? Also, you need to be careful with who you lose your virginity with, because once you lose you'll never get it back.


All that being said, if you are going to lose your virginity, please wait, until you're an adult, because it's just better that way.


Hell, I'm an adult and I haven't lost my virginity yet, but it doesn't matter to me, because who genuinely cares? This is something that is private to me, and if I ever lose my virginity, this is not something I would brag about to anyone.


I'd be embarassed if my close friends or family members knew about my bedroom activities. It would also be disrespectful to my partner if I told everyone my status.

Reply 4

Original post by Anonymous
I am 16 and will be 17 next week.
I go to an all boys school and live in the middle of nowhere where so I don’t really go out much apart from occasionally with my friends and I go to scouts once a week.
I’ve only ever been on 2 dates. After my first date, it went really well, however the girl never text me or got in contact with me after. This was like 2 years ago. I have seen her since and it’s like she just pretends like nothing ever happened. She has a boyfriend now and has done for about a year.
On my second date, with a girl from prom, we went out for a meal, the date was rubbish and we didn’t really click but even still she started kissing me afterwards only to never contact me again.
All my friends have girlfriends and I’m worried that I’m going to be left behind. I want someone who is in the same situation as me and has not lost their v card but I don’t know if this is unrealistic to search for.
I like to think I am quite attractive, I am in shape, I do boxing and. I can speak Spanish. I’m sorry if this sounds a bit long winded but I could just really do with some advice.
Is it unrealistic to look for a girl who hasn’t lost their v card?
Thanks


not unrealistic at all tbh, im a girl and also in the same boat but i live in a populated area + go to a mixed schl and its STILL hard to find a bf. me and my friends are turning 16 this year and pretty much all of them including me HAVENT lost their v card, but its not having sex that you should worry about, more-so finding someone you have a deep connection and get along well with.(bonus points if conversations feel natural and you’re comfortable with being yourself! i think thats the best foundation for a relationship) i went on a date recently but it was quite awkward - both me and the guy haven’t really talked since then - its very possible the girls that ghosted you didn’t really feel a connection/felt awkward but everyone’s different so don’t take my word for it. for now, it’s best to focus on yourself and your academic achievements/ambitions and goals, if you make yourself happy youll eventually attract other people that have similar interests and life goals to you, especially when you leave school x ( atleast thats what i tell myself whenever i feel lonely, haha x )

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