i think my face has ruined my personal life

i’m very aware that i have a major rbf and it really upsets me. i’m not insecure about my looks as in my facial features per say but i hate my resting expression and im hyper aware that i can’t change it. people used to bring it up to me all the time and i usually brushed it off but im a little sensitive about my social life these days and it got brought up into a conversation with a few people and as soon as one person said they were initially scared of me due to my resting face everyone jumped on the bandwagon and started agreeing. this really hurt my feelings and it got me questioning whether my lack of social life (only a few friends, no relationship) is due to the poor first impression i make on people. i like to believe im a nice fun person once you get to know me but i fear my resting face combined with my introverted personality has ruined my social life. this has got me worried for when i go to uni this year - will i make no friends if i look unapproachable. i kind of forgot about it but my sister said her friend was talking about it behind my back today and now im even more insecure. does anyone know how to fix this because i don’t want my face to ruin my chances at a good social life next year. :frown:

Reply 1

Zarek

21

I reckon this is out of proportion and I wouldn’t label yourself in this derogatory way. Approachability is hugely influenceable. Just being first to introduce yourself, which many people are shy about, makes a major difference. Smiling also is very powerful. Believe in yourself and go outside your comfort zone a bit more to show your fun side

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

My mom's college roommate has MAJOR rbf. Many of her friends were scared of her at first (my mom wasn't), but she was still very well liked. She was introverted, but forced herself to talk to those around her before class and pretty quickly she had her group, which made her more confident. When she is interacting with others she looks super friendly, and she really came out of her shell (and drew in a lot of guys because she was really sweet). She hit it off so well with my mom they and another friend got a flat together and had a great time.

It will be hard at first, but I've found the very beginning of uni is the perfect time to set your first impression. Everyone around you will be semi/fully terrified, looking desperately for friends, and hoping someone knows what they're doing and will guide them. If you can force yourself to be social and start conversations for a week or two, you might not walk out with your best friends, but if later people think you look scary chances are someone will remember how friendly you were and tell them. Also, rbf has plenty of uses! I have the exact opposite and not only did it not improve my social life, but people often think they can walk all over me! I am pretty good at dealing with issues now, but sometimes I wish I had a rbf because I feel I'd be respected more.
Hang in there, you've got this!

Reply 3

Anonymous #3

Original post

by Anonymous

i’m very aware that i have a major rbf and it really upsets me. i’m not insecure about my looks as in my facial features per say but i hate my resting expression and im hyper aware that i can’t change it. people used to bring it up to me all the time and i usually brushed it off but im a little sensitive about my social life these days and it got brought up into a conversation with a few people and as soon as one person said they were initially scared of me due to my resting face everyone jumped on the bandwagon and started agreeing. this really hurt my feelings and it got me questioning whether my lack of social life (only a few friends, no relationship) is due to the poor first impression i make on people. i like to believe im a nice fun person once you get to know me but i fear my resting face combined with my introverted personality has ruined my social life. this has got me worried for when i go to uni this year - will i make no friends if i look unapproachable. i kind of forgot about it but my sister said her friend was talking about it behind my back today and now im even more insecure. does anyone know how to fix this because i don’t want my face to ruin my chances at a good social life next year. :frown:

exact same with me. i get how u feel and how this changes ur whole personality, and the way u behave bc of hyperfocusing on this. not sure how to make it better either but gl

Reply 4

opearsonnooffer

1

Original post

by Anonymous

i’m very aware that i have a major rbf and it really upsets me. i’m not insecure about my looks as in my facial features per say but i hate my resting expression and im hyper aware that i can’t change it. people used to bring it up to me all the time and i usually brushed it off but im a little sensitive about my social life these days and it got brought up into a conversation with a few people and as soon as one person said they were initially scared of me due to my resting face everyone jumped on the bandwagon and started agreeing. this really hurt my feelings and it got me questioning whether my lack of social life (only a few friends, no relationship) is due to the poor first impression i make on people. i like to believe im a nice fun person once you get to know me but i fear my resting face combined with my introverted personality has ruined my social life. this has got me worried for when i go to uni this year - will i make no friends if i look unapproachable. i kind of forgot about it but my sister said her friend was talking about it behind my back today and now im even more insecure. does anyone know how to fix this because i don’t want my face to ruin my chances at a good social life next year. :frown:

just smile more

Reply 5

Admit-One

Universities Forum Helper

21

Original post

by opearsonnooffer

just smile more

Do you think that the thread starter might have considered that already?

Reply 6

ydm

9

Original post

by Anonymous

i’m very aware that i have a major rbf and it really upsets me. i’m not insecure about my looks as in my facial features per say but i hate my resting expression and im hyper aware that i can’t change it. people used to bring it up to me all the time and i usually brushed it off but im a little sensitive about my social life these days and it got brought up into a conversation with a few people and as soon as one person said they were initially scared of me due to my resting face everyone jumped on the bandwagon and started agreeing. this really hurt my feelings and it got me questioning whether my lack of social life (only a few friends, no relationship) is due to the poor first impression i make on people. i like to believe im a nice fun person once you get to know me but i fear my resting face combined with my introverted personality has ruined my social life. this has got me worried for when i go to uni this year - will i make no friends if i look unapproachable. i kind of forgot about it but my sister said her friend was talking about it behind my back today and now im even more insecure. does anyone know how to fix this because i don’t want my face to ruin my chances at a good social life next year. :frown:

I heard this tip somewhere I don't know but I think it might help. Basically you have to smile on the inside. Sounds weird I know. Just imagine urself smiling on the inside and it adds a slight unconscious upward curve to ur lips and also kinda changes your energy. But it doesn't look too weird where it's like a permanent creepy smile, it's very subtle. Maybe also experiment with makeup, certain techniques can open up ur face and make u appear more friendly like blush placement or bigger eyes ect.

i think my face has ruined my personal life

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