how to get over fomo

i know this is going to be quite a silly post, but it’s still been bothering me. so we have socials at uni every week and im away for one of the weeks it’s going to be quite busy. it’s not even happened yet and im getting fomo over all the fun i’ll be missing out on. especially since my friends will be going out without me, which of course they can i don’t want to hold them back from it. i guess my worry is i will miss out on a bonding experience almost, if that makes sence? while everyone is out socialising im the only one not there. or it’s like a butterfly effect, so me missing out on one small thing makes a big difference. obviously im thinking of the worst possible scenarios, when i have other chances to go another time. however, i can’t stop thinking about it. then im going to hear about it from my friends too who’ll probably say that i missed out! any advice on getting over this feeling since it’s a bit stupid?

Reply 1

BCU Student Rep

Official Rep

18

Original post

by Anonymous

i know this is going to be quite a silly post, but it’s still been bothering me. so we have socials at uni every week and im away for one of the weeks it’s going to be quite busy. it’s not even happened yet and im getting fomo over all the fun i’ll be missing out on. especially since my friends will be going out without me, which of course they can i don’t want to hold them back from it. i guess my worry is i will miss out on a bonding experience almost, if that makes sence? while everyone is out socialising im the only one not there. or it’s like a butterfly effect, so me missing out on one small thing makes a big difference. obviously im thinking of the worst possible scenarios, when i have other chances to go another time. however, i can’t stop thinking about it. then im going to hear about it from my friends too who’ll probably say that i missed out! any advice on getting over this feeling since it’s a bit stupid?

Hi there,

This is a completely valid feeling but I wouldn't worry about missing out.

I understand feeling like you're going to miss out, but I don't think missing one social will affect your friendships. You can attend the next one and I'm sure it will feel like you never missed anything.

Maybe you could plan something with your friends when you're all available so you have something to look forward to and can feel like you're getting bac involved in the group.

Hope this helps. 🙂
Emily
Student Rep at BCU

Reply 2

Uni of Southampton Students

Official Rep

17

Original post

by Anonymous

i know this is going to be quite a silly post, but it’s still been bothering me. so we have socials at uni every week and im away for one of the weeks it’s going to be quite busy. it’s not even happened yet and im getting fomo over all the fun i’ll be missing out on. especially since my friends will be going out without me, which of course they can i don’t want to hold them back from it. i guess my worry is i will miss out on a bonding experience almost, if that makes sence? while everyone is out socialising im the only one not there. or it’s like a butterfly effect, so me missing out on one small thing makes a big difference. obviously im thinking of the worst possible scenarios, when i have other chances to go another time. however, i can’t stop thinking about it. then im going to hear about it from my friends too who’ll probably say that i missed out! any advice on getting over this feeling since it’s a bit stupid?

Hi

I am Nikki a student at Southampton, I completely get that feeling, I get it sometimes whilst I am living in the same house with my friends. My advice is to just remember its only a short while you are missing things, it might feel like your missing bonding time but there will always come other times when you will be able to hang out and go out with your friends.
I am a masters student and have been at the university for 4 years, I have missed out on quite a few hang outs in that time and it has never had a negative effect on my friendships or the strength of the friendships. there is definitely a pressure at university to go out more and not to miss things but it is completely fine to do so, as you said there are many opportunities to go out with them so missing one week wont have a drastic effect on the relationships and friendships you make.
I do feel your worry and it is easier said than done, like I said I still feel it now but it definitely becomes easier as time goes on but don't let it ruin the experience, and remember your friends will still be your friends when you get back, and there will be more socials and activities in the future.

I hope this helps a little
from
Nikki
MSc Palaeoanthropology

Reply 3

Crazy Jamie

19

Original post

by Anonymous

i know this is going to be quite a silly post, but it’s still been bothering me. so we have socials at uni every week and im away for one of the weeks it’s going to be quite busy. it’s not even happened yet and im getting fomo over all the fun i’ll be missing out on. especially since my friends will be going out without me, which of course they can i don’t want to hold them back from it. i guess my worry is i will miss out on a bonding experience almost, if that makes sence? while everyone is out socialising im the only one not there. or it’s like a butterfly effect, so me missing out on one small thing makes a big difference. obviously im thinking of the worst possible scenarios, when i have other chances to go another time. however, i can’t stop thinking about it. then im going to hear about it from my friends too who’ll probably say that i missed out! any advice on getting over this feeling since it’s a bit stupid?

It's completely normal to feel this way, so judge yourself for it. It's not stupid, but it is temporary. In practice it goes away by itself, and will certainly go away by the next time you attend a social, or likely before that. In practice your fears are unfounded. If you think back to any particular interest you have or friendship you have, can you identify a specific event that resulted in your interest or friendship being as strong as it is? Of course you can't, because interests and friendships aren't binary like that. They are as a result of a complex mix of experiences, and they change all the time. In the same way that you cannot point to individual events that have made your interests and friendships what they are, the bonding experiences that you're missing out on at this social are not going to be in any way determinative of future friendships that you might have. Friendships and bonds strengthen, weaken and change all the time for all sorts of reasons. Within a very short space of time this particular social will just not be of any relevance at all to the friendships you've made even this year at university. By the start of next academic year you'll probably have completely forgotten about it.

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