The Student Room Group

Moving away from home

Hi, I'm planning to move away for university this year but I am freaking out about leaving my mum at home. It's just me and her so now that I will be leaving, I can't help but feel petrified. So that she's not as lonely, I convinced her to buy a cat... but now I know I'm going to miss both of them 😭.

Anyone in similar situations? Any advice?

Reply 1

Original post by Anonymous
Hi, I'm planning to move away for university this year but I am freaking out about leaving my mum at home. It's just me and her so now that I will be leaving, I can't help but feel petrified. So that she's not as lonely, I convinced her to buy a cat... but now I know I'm going to miss both of them 😭.
Anyone in similar situations? Any advice?


Hii I’m not in a similar situation here’s some advice if it’s worth anything 😭

Maybe encourage her to join a local club or class to meet new people, and plan some visits home so you both have that to look forward to. Also how long is your course cause obvs this just temporary and it’s a part of life it may be a good opportunity for yous both to grow even tho your moving away she’s still your mother and im sure u can call and text regularly I understand it’s really scary esp being away from home and me and my brother both wanted to also move away for uni so I get sometimes you can feel guilty or even just sad about moving away but think of all the positives like im so sure your mum is so proud of you for following this next chapter in your life!! Also remember what’s meant for you won’t pass you!!!

Reply 2

Original post by Anonymous
Hii I’m not in a similar situation here’s some advice if it’s worth anything 😭
Maybe encourage her to join a local club or class to meet new people, and plan some visits home so you both have that to look forward to. Also how long is your course cause obvs this just temporary and it’s a part of life it may be a good opportunity for yous both to grow even tho your moving away she’s still your mother and im sure u can call and text regularly I understand it’s really scary esp being away from home and me and my brother both wanted to also move away for uni so I get sometimes you can feel guilty or even just sad about moving away but think of all the positives like im so sure your mum is so proud of you for following this next chapter in your life!! Also remember what’s meant for you won’t pass you!!!

Thank you so much for your advice and kind words, it really means so much to me.
My course is 3 years but the university is around 5 hours away so I know I can't come home as often as I want (especially with the outrageous train prices). It's such a big change as we rely on each other for so much.
Thank you once again!

Reply 3

Original post by Anonymous
Thank you so much for your advice and kind words, it really means so much to me.
My course is 3 years but the university is around 5 hours away so I know I can't come home as often as I want (especially with the outrageous train prices). It's such a big change as we rely on each other for so much.
Thank you once again!


Nws!!! And I totally understand there’s literally no one in the world like ur mother frs! Is it 5 hours in the train? Do any busses go? If it makes u feel better my brother moved away and around 4 hours away and came back home after all his classes regularly cause he didn’t like his accommodation at first it feels like a big jump but you’ll get used to it he hates coming home now like he just wants to be at uni all the time😭😭 I hope you feel better I promise I’m sure you will look back and be like I was stressing for no reason and remember FaceTime is like our bsf 😩😩

Reply 4

Original post by Anonymous
Nws!!! And I totally understand there’s literally no one in the world like ur mother frs! Is it 5 hours in the train? Do any busses go? If it makes u feel better my brother moved away and around 4 hours away and came back home after all his classes regularly cause he didn’t like his accommodation at first it feels like a big jump but you’ll get used to it he hates coming home now like he just wants to be at uni all the time😭😭 I hope you feel better I promise I’m sure you will look back and be like I was stressing for no reason and remember FaceTime is like our bsf 😩😩

That does make me feel better thank you!! There are some buses but there are multiple stops and would take majority of the day but whatever it takes ig. Thank you!
Original post by Anonymous
Hi, I'm planning to move away for university this year but I am freaking out about leaving my mum at home. It's just me and her so now that I will be leaving, I can't help but feel petrified. So that she's not as lonely, I convinced her to buy a cat... but now I know I'm going to miss both of them 😭.
Anyone in similar situations? Any advice?

Hey there 😄 although daunting, uni life is also about new experiences and stepping out of our comfort zones! It will take a while to adjust to your new environment but I am sure both of you will be able to adapt to the new arrangement 🤗 Take this time at uni to build new friendships and try something new. You can always go back to visit during reading weeks and over the holidays 😉 I hope this helps and I wish you all the best in your uni life journey.

Zhi En
(Kingston Student Rep.)
Original post by Anonymous
Hi, I'm planning to move away for university this year but I am freaking out about leaving my mum at home. It's just me and her so now that I will be leaving, I can't help but feel petrified. So that she's not as lonely, I convinced her to buy a cat... but now I know I'm going to miss both of them 😭.
Anyone in similar situations? Any advice?

Hi there,

I completely understand where you are coming from here and why you might be upset and worried about this. I think it's important to try and remember that your mum will be happy for you leaving and she will not be upset about this (as much as she will miss you).

I am really close to my mum and my other family, and I always try and make sure I am texting and FaceTiming them a lot! It's so nice to have a catch up over FaceTime so you can actually see each other, and although you don't need to do this every day, its nice to do this quite often so you feel included in what is going on at home, and your mum will feel included in what you are doing at uni!

I also find it helpful to always have a loose plan of when I will be going home next or if my family are coming up to see me. This makes it feel quicker between seeing them and it helps me to feel less homesick as I have something to look forward to! This way your mum will also have something to look forward to and I am sure she will like this too!

I also agree with what others have said - see if there are any local clubs that your mum can join or something fun she can do in the week or on the weekend! There may be clubs that she can join and she might really enjoy it so I think it would be worth a look!

A cat sounds like a great idea too to keep her company. It's aways nice to have something to do and having a cat to look after will be a great distraction from the fact that you are not at home!

It will also be nice to see her when you go home for the holidays! As you live quite far away, it won't be feasible to go home lots, but in the holidays it will be really nice to go home and see her!

I hope some of this helps,

Lucy -SHU student ambassador.

Reply 7

Original post by Anonymous
Hi, I'm planning to move away for university this year but I am freaking out about leaving my mum at home. It's just me and her so now that I will be leaving, I can't help but feel petrified. So that she's not as lonely, I convinced her to buy a cat... but now I know I'm going to miss both of them 😭.
Anyone in similar situations? Any advice?

Hey there!

Nice to meet you, my name is Siobhan and I'm a third-year student at the University of Central Lancashire.

It’s great that you’re reaching out for advice, and you are definitely not the only one who is going through this right now. I personally have something similar, as me and my partner are 5 hours away from each other and have been for 3 years now, so I understand your worries.

Uni is a big change, and I can see how much your mum means to you. Here are some things that I found helpful when adjusting to moving away from home:


Set a plan to stay connected to loved ones. Let your mum know when you have free time from uni and set times to facetime each other. You can do things over facetime like cooking sessions, where you cook the same meal, or virtual movie nights! It might not feel the same but having that dedicated time for each other will help you feel closer and connected.


Send updates over text to let your mum know what you have been up to. Even if it is something small, it can help you both feel involved in each other's lives still.

Make your uni room cosy Bring things that will remind you of home such as pictures or teddys can help you feel more connected even when you’re not physically at home. You can also set up routines that you do at home to create familiarity.


Connect with others joining a social or a sport can help you connect to others and get you more in tune with uni life. This can give you some comfort and distraction while you settle in.


Give yourself time to settle in everyone deals with change in a different way so try to be kind to yourself if it can take longer. You can always connect with your uni’s wellbeing team if you are really struggling and want extra support. A lot of people do this, and it has helped a lot.


Remember that you are not alone in this and although it can be difficult, try and focus on the new and exciting things!! Hope this has helped a bit. Please do let me know if I can help you in any other way and if you have any more questions! 😊


Siobhan (Student Ambassador for University of Central Lancashire)
Original post by Anonymous
Hii I’m not in a similar situation here’s some advice if it’s worth anything 😭
Maybe encourage her to join a local club or class to meet new people, and plan some visits home so you both have that to look forward to. Also how long is your course cause obvs this just temporary and it’s a part of life it may be a good opportunity for yous both to grow even tho your moving away she’s still your mother and im sure u can call and text regularly I understand it’s really scary esp being away from home and me and my brother both wanted to also move away for uni so I get sometimes you can feel guilty or even just sad about moving away but think of all the positives like im so sure your mum is so proud of you for following this next chapter in your life!! Also remember what’s meant for you won’t pass you!!!

Hey!

I totally understand how you’re feeling—it can be really tough leaving for uni when your super close to your mum, and the thought of leaving home can feel overwhelming. It’s completely normal to be nervous about the change, and it shows how much you care about her.

The good news is, it’s okay to miss home, and it doesn’t mean you’re not ready for university or that you don’t want to move forward with this exciting change! Moving away is a big step, and it’s totally natural to feel anxious about leaving loved ones behind.

Here’s a few things that helped me when I moved out:
- Just because you’re physical moving furthur away doesn’t mean you cant be in touch! - With technology, staying connected is simple (: Schedule regular calls/ideo chats with your mum (+ the cat!!) even small check-ins can help you feel close. You could even set up times to watch something together in sync to make it feel less distant.

-Uni can be overwhelming at times, but the more you immerse yourself in your studies, meeting new people, and joining activities, the quicker it’ll feel like home. The distraction of a busy schedule can help ease the homesickness, and you’ll be able to focus on the positives of moving!

-It might help to plan some visits back home or for your mum to come visit you. Having those visits to look forward to can make the time apart feel more manageable, and you’ll both have something to look forward to!
It’s wonderful that you’ve thought of ways to help your mum feel less lonely. Having the cat will bring her some comfort.

It’s okay to feel this way, and it’s okay to miss home. It’s all part of the process, and it doesn’t mean you’re not capable of thriving at university. Take things one step at a time (:

I hope this helps, and you’re definitely not alone in feeling this way. If you ever need to talk or ask about anything else, feel free to reach out!

Emily (:
Official University of Strathclyde Rep

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