should i acc run away my parents not gon let me move out for uni !!
hellooo, basically i jus need some advice any tips would be appreciated pls! my parents aren't letting me move out for uni this year, its mostly my dad he's the 'leader' of the house if u get it, and my mom can't really have her say in anything. life's pretty toxic at home tbh, everytime i do try to build that relationship with my dad as it was when i was lil, it doesn't work and its back to how it was, im close to mom but she can't do nothing tbh.
from dad its a strict no unless ur mom gon come uni with you- how is that even possible???
guys pls help me on what to actually do, i can take out loans and move out but what do i acc do. prolly gon regret posting this but needed some genuine advice
from dad its a strict no unless ur mom gon come uni with you- how is that even possible???
guys pls help me on what to actually do, i can take out loans and move out but what do i acc do. prolly gon regret posting this but needed some genuine advice
Reply 1
Hi, what do your teachers think? They would be in the best position to help alongside extended family members, if you trust them
Reply 2
Original post by Anonymous
Hi, what do your teachers think? They would be in the best position to help alongside extended family members, if you trust them
I haven’t really spoke to my teachers abt this I feel it would make it more worse, as for extended family members I rlly don’t think they’d be much help tbh
Reply 3
Okay, do you think you’ve be able to just leave? As in filling out all the paperwork and telling them once its done to accept your decision. It may be difficult for certain bits but you don’t need their consent to leave.
As you'll legally be an adult at that point they can't do anything to stop you legally from moving out.
Original post by Anonymous
hellooo, basically i jus need some advice any tips would be appreciated pls! my parents aren't letting me move out for uni this year, its mostly my dad he's the 'leader' of the house if u get it, and my mom can't really have her say in anything. life's pretty toxic at home tbh, everytime i do try to build that relationship with my dad as it was when i was lil, it doesn't work and its back to how it was, im close to mom but she can't do nothing tbh.
from dad its a strict no unless ur mom gon come uni with you- how is that even possible???
guys pls help me on what to actually do, i can take out loans and move out but what do i acc do. prolly gon regret posting this but needed some genuine advice
from dad its a strict no unless ur mom gon come uni with you- how is that even possible???
guys pls help me on what to actually do, i can take out loans and move out but what do i acc do. prolly gon regret posting this but needed some genuine advice
There are various organisations that can help with students that are using uni as a point to leave home in a more permanent way. Your uni itself will probably have mechanisms in place to support students who are effectively leaving their family permanently for uni, eg preferential rentals out of term, flagging mechanisms in case parents try to make contact etc. When you know which uni you are going to, contact student services and see if they can help.
Keep this thread alive - Iv'e seen various more informed posters than me post detailed responses to similar questions. Sorry, can't remember who they were right now, but hopefully someone better informed will respond.
Reply 6
Are you at uni already?
If not, aim - if conveniently possible - to go to a university that's a long way from your home town. Keep it secret from everyone in your family and your parent's social circle which uni you are going to. And then in September, basically run away from home. Changing your mobile phone number might be a good idea.
Make a fresh start.
You may be looking at cutting off all contact with your family. Younger brothers or sisters may be put under pressure to reveal where you are.
When parents behave unreasonably you should take appropriate measures.
If you're already at uni, could you reasonably transfer to a different uni. If you explained to each uni about your dad, there's a high chance they'd understand.
If you're staying at the same uni, you should still move out. Briefing your tutors and friends and flatmates about your dad would be a good precaution. IE tell them to look out for him and help protect you from him if he turns up.
The day I moved out from my mother's home to go off to do my degree was the joint happiest of my life. I've never moved back. There's thousands of students every year that move out from intolerable family home conditions. And never move back. Some of them will cut off all contact. Some maintain contact. In your case it sounds like cutting off all contact is the safest route, due to the very controlling nature of your dad.
Where you live from September onwards, and for the rest of your life is entirely your decision. And anyone coercing you into a different decision would be acting in an evil way.
Pragmatically, this is not something you can discuss with your dad and win him over to your way of thinking. Treat this as a conflict situation. One where you have to do what it takes to protect your Human Rights.
If not, aim - if conveniently possible - to go to a university that's a long way from your home town. Keep it secret from everyone in your family and your parent's social circle which uni you are going to. And then in September, basically run away from home. Changing your mobile phone number might be a good idea.
Make a fresh start.
You may be looking at cutting off all contact with your family. Younger brothers or sisters may be put under pressure to reveal where you are.
When parents behave unreasonably you should take appropriate measures.
If you're already at uni, could you reasonably transfer to a different uni. If you explained to each uni about your dad, there's a high chance they'd understand.
If you're staying at the same uni, you should still move out. Briefing your tutors and friends and flatmates about your dad would be a good precaution. IE tell them to look out for him and help protect you from him if he turns up.
The day I moved out from my mother's home to go off to do my degree was the joint happiest of my life. I've never moved back. There's thousands of students every year that move out from intolerable family home conditions. And never move back. Some of them will cut off all contact. Some maintain contact. In your case it sounds like cutting off all contact is the safest route, due to the very controlling nature of your dad.
Where you live from September onwards, and for the rest of your life is entirely your decision. And anyone coercing you into a different decision would be acting in an evil way.
Pragmatically, this is not something you can discuss with your dad and win him over to your way of thinking. Treat this as a conflict situation. One where you have to do what it takes to protect your Human Rights.
Reply 7
I assume you are 17-18 currently and at college if you're planning to go to university - you should be able to get lots of advice from your college and they could help with forms and claiming funding too. Good luck.
Reply 8
You can apply for student finance (and will actually get more money without parents supporting your application) and can apply for student accommodation, most places give 12 month contracts so you wouldn't have to go home over summer
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