Am I getting bullied
I've noticed snide remarks from my colleagues, including from own my manager. If my tone shifts, they say, "Why are you so excited?" If I smile, they comment, "You look like you want to say something."
They joke and laugh loudly, ensuring I hear. I feel excluded from the team—no one sits next to me, and when I join them, the energy shifts. They become quieter, focusing on work, but when I’m not there, they’re their usual, lively selves.
I’m an introvert, which I’ve explained, but they’re more extroverted. I'm a reserved person which is one of my imperfections, I wish I wasn't - but I'm doing my best to fight this by just stepping out of my comfort zone more.
I think they want me to quit now that I’ve passed probation. I’m polite and trying to be a good team player, but they treat me like a black sheep, because I'm different, I dont have a loud voice, I'm not a bubbly person. I'm kind and very empathetic towards people.
I have a strong mindset, but it’s tough. After several months, I plan to stay a little longer before eventually leaving.
This is the first time in over 10 yrs that I’ve felt bullied. I feel numb, hurt, and alone.
Any advice?
They joke and laugh loudly, ensuring I hear. I feel excluded from the team—no one sits next to me, and when I join them, the energy shifts. They become quieter, focusing on work, but when I’m not there, they’re their usual, lively selves.
I’m an introvert, which I’ve explained, but they’re more extroverted. I'm a reserved person which is one of my imperfections, I wish I wasn't - but I'm doing my best to fight this by just stepping out of my comfort zone more.
I think they want me to quit now that I’ve passed probation. I’m polite and trying to be a good team player, but they treat me like a black sheep, because I'm different, I dont have a loud voice, I'm not a bubbly person. I'm kind and very empathetic towards people.
I have a strong mindset, but it’s tough. After several months, I plan to stay a little longer before eventually leaving.
This is the first time in over 10 yrs that I’ve felt bullied. I feel numb, hurt, and alone.
Any advice?
There is a lot of support out there such as:
-The Samaritans, you can call 116 123, which is available 24 hours a day
-Mind, 0300 123 3393
-Saneline, 0300 304 7000, from 4.30pm-10.30pm
-The mix, 0800 808 4994, 11am-11pm
-SHOUT, text 852258, 24 hour text service
-Crises, 741741, text service
-Papyrus, 0800 068 4141, if you have thoughts of suicide or in emotional distress
-Rethink mental health, 0300 5000 927
-No Panic, 0800 138 8889
-Relate, they have a chat advisor
-NHS mental health 111
-Kooth, www.kooth.com, a chat, message website
-7cups, www.7cups.com, 24/7 online chat
-Support line, 01708 765200, email: [email protected]
-Anxiety UK, 03444 775 774, 9:30am to 17:30pm Mon to Friday, a text service 07537 416905
-Young minds, www.youngminds.org.uk
-Calm, calm.com
-Mental Health 24/7: 0800 008 6516
-Nightline, usually run by your university
-hubofhope website, useful contact information for your local area.
If you feel it is bullying, you can report this and maybe look for other work.
-The Samaritans, you can call 116 123, which is available 24 hours a day
-Mind, 0300 123 3393
-Saneline, 0300 304 7000, from 4.30pm-10.30pm
-The mix, 0800 808 4994, 11am-11pm
-SHOUT, text 852258, 24 hour text service
-Crises, 741741, text service
-Papyrus, 0800 068 4141, if you have thoughts of suicide or in emotional distress
-Rethink mental health, 0300 5000 927
-No Panic, 0800 138 8889
-Relate, they have a chat advisor
-NHS mental health 111
-Kooth, www.kooth.com, a chat, message website
-7cups, www.7cups.com, 24/7 online chat
-Support line, 01708 765200, email: [email protected]
-Anxiety UK, 03444 775 774, 9:30am to 17:30pm Mon to Friday, a text service 07537 416905
-Young minds, www.youngminds.org.uk
-Calm, calm.com
-Mental Health 24/7: 0800 008 6516
-Nightline, usually run by your university
-hubofhope website, useful contact information for your local area.
If you feel it is bullying, you can report this and maybe look for other work.
Reply 2
Reading your post reminds me of myself 100%. I have the same issues you're facing right now. I know how you're feeling, and I just want to say that you are normal. Don't conform or change yourself for others. I'm naturally quiet and want to get on with work duties.
There are people I have worked with and currently work with who are like that. It's hard because it makes you feel abnormal and weird, but you are not. Then you start having negative thoughts which is so unhealthy.
I'm so sorry you're going through this, and I hope everything works out for you.
I can confirm that you are being bullied.
If I were you, I would leave that job it seems like reporting them wouldn't change anything.
Please just remember, your mental health should always come before money. I'm sending you virtual hugs, love and hugs.
There are people I have worked with and currently work with who are like that. It's hard because it makes you feel abnormal and weird, but you are not. Then you start having negative thoughts which is so unhealthy.
I'm so sorry you're going through this, and I hope everything works out for you.
I can confirm that you are being bullied.
If I were you, I would leave that job it seems like reporting them wouldn't change anything.
Please just remember, your mental health should always come before money. I'm sending you virtual hugs, love and hugs.
Reply 3
It feels like you know that the way you are being treated is wrong, but are almost resigned to it being that way. It's not ok. Bullying in the work place or anywhere is inherently wrong and can be very impacting. It can be hard when you are in the minority too, when it's only you it's happening too as the response from the bullies can be quite manipulative. Have you any one at work who you trust who you could confide in? Maybe the way this is impacting your mental health would suggest looking for another job would be beneficial, but if it's a role you enjoy and can see yourself being there for a while, then you should not have to leave because of the actions of others. The National Bullying helpline might opffer more specific advice for your circumstances, you can find them here- https://www.nationalbullyinghelpline.co.uk/about.html
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