The Student Room Group

Struggling to make friends

I'm nearly at the end of my first year studying at UWE and feel as though I've only made 2 proper friends. I've tried the societies and didn't really enjoy them and I feel like everywhere I look everyone is in groups and I'm all alone. I really don't know what to do and I feel so lonely as I have such a good group of friends back at home

Any advice is greatly appreciated
Original post by Anonymous
I'm nearly at the end of my first year studying at UWE and feel as though I've only made 2 proper friends. I've tried the societies and didn't really enjoy them and I feel like everywhere I look everyone is in groups and I'm all alone. I really don't know what to do and I feel so lonely as I have such a good group of friends back at home
Any advice is greatly appreciated

Hey, (:

I completely understand how you're feeling- it can be tough when you're in a new place and everything feels a bit overwhelming. First of all, I want to reassure you that feeling this way is completely normal, especially in your first year. It can take time to adjust and build connections!

You mentioned that you’ve made two proper friends, which is great! Sometimes, quality matters more than quantity- having solid friendships is already a strong foundation. But if you’re still feeling lonely, it might be helpful to reflect on what you feel is missing. Are you looking for a bigger social circle to have more variety in your uni experience? Do you feel like you need friends in different aspects of your life, like coursemates/flatmates? Or is it more about missing the sense of belonging you had with your friends back home? -Understanding what you’re looking for is a great start!

Okay, now heres some specific advice for getting to know new people!:
-Making friends doesn’t always have to happen in big groups. Everyone in first year is still getting to know new people, so it’s totally normal to go up to someone and start a conversation. I definitely suggest sitting next to different people in lectures-sometimes a simple “hey” can lead to a great chat, and you might find that others start talking to you too! A lot of people are in the same boat, just waiting for someone to make the first move or sit next to them.

-Even though societies didn’t feel like the right fit, there are plenty of other ways to meet people. maybe through study groups, sports, or university-led events! It’s always good to keep a lookout for what’s happening around campus & local area. If something interests you, go along- you’ll likely find others who share the same interests, making it much easier to start conversations and connect with new people!

-I totally get how important your friends back home are. It’s perfectly okay to keep in touch with them while also trying to make new friends at uni. It doesn’t mean you’re not invested in your new environment but having that support system back home can help ease some of the loneliness while you adjust.

I hope some of this helps! Don’t hesitate to reach out to people around you and remember it’s okay to go at your own pace. Things will fall into place as you continue to settle in.
Good luck!

Emily (:
Official University of Strathclyde Rep

Reply 2

2 proper friends is alright, most people have a group of "friends" where a couple are proper friends and the rest are just acquaintances they tolerate out of fear of being alone
Original post by Anonymous
I'm nearly at the end of my first year studying at UWE and feel as though I've only made 2 proper friends. I've tried the societies and didn't really enjoy them and I feel like everywhere I look everyone is in groups and I'm all alone. I really don't know what to do and I feel so lonely as I have such a good group of friends back at home
Any advice is greatly appreciated

Hey there 🤗 just to add on to what Emily has mentioned, its great that you have already made some close friends and have made the effort to try out some societies! 😄 Personally, friendships take time to build and it was not only towards the end of my 2nd uni where I found a few people I really gelled with outside of my course and faculty. If you are looking to meet new people, you could also try joining some movie nights, pub quizzes or social events organised by your student union 🤗 sometimes all it takes is a simple hello or introduction with the right sort of people that you click with! I wish you all the best in your studies and university journey 😁

Zhi En
(Kingston Student Rep.)
Original post by Anonymous
I'm nearly at the end of my first year studying at UWE and feel as though I've only made 2 proper friends. I've tried the societies and didn't really enjoy them and I feel like everywhere I look everyone is in groups and I'm all alone. I really don't know what to do and I feel so lonely as I have such a good group of friends back at home
Any advice is greatly appreciated

Hi Anon,

Hey, I totally get how you're feeling, making friends at uni can be tough, and it can seem like everyone else has their group already. But trust me, a lot of people feel the same way, even if they don’t show it.

You’ve already made two solid friends, which is a great start! Maybe try deepening those friendships or casually chatting with people in your lectures or accommodation. Societies aren’t for everyone, but things like study groups, part-time work, or just hanging out in common areas can help you meet people naturally.

Also, don’t feel bad about staying close to your home friends, maybe invite them to visit or plan a trip back. You’re not alone in this, and friendships take time.

Hope this helps,
Danish
BCU Student Rep
Original post by Anonymous
I'm nearly at the end of my first year studying at UWE and feel as though I've only made 2 proper friends. I've tried the societies and didn't really enjoy them and I feel like everywhere I look everyone is in groups and I'm all alone. I really don't know what to do and I feel so lonely as I have such a good group of friends back at home
Any advice is greatly appreciated

Hi there,

Making friends at university can definitely be tough.

I just wanted to reiterate what has already been said, as having two good-quality friends is fantastic! It might mean that you do spend some of your free-time alone, but university is also the place to be learning about how to live and thrive independently!

I also wouldn't hold too many expectations around making friends at university, since I've found it can be quite different to the friends you made back home. Make sure you keep in touch with your friends back home, but be open to new experiences at university too. I've met people in classes, through volunteering and peer mentoring, at my part-time jobs, and in my accommodation. Many won't end up being close friends, but being open to meeting new people and having new experiences is what it's all about!

You're only coming to the end of your first year too - you have so much time! When I came back from study abroad, I joined the current third-years, and have managed to make some friends in my new classes. I've also got a few activities/work on the side, and have met some great people through those too. There are always opportunities, so enjoy yourself!

I hope this helps,

Isabella
Fourth-Year Geography (With a Year Abroad)
Original post by Anonymous
I'm nearly at the end of my first year studying at UWE and feel as though I've only made 2 proper friends. I've tried the societies and didn't really enjoy them and I feel like everywhere I look everyone is in groups and I'm all alone. I really don't know what to do and I feel so lonely as I have such a good group of friends back at home
Any advice is greatly appreciated

Hi there,

I am really sorry that you haven't made as many friends as you thought you might. I feel like lots of people are in this boat but just don't know that others feel this way so I promise you are not alone.

I am glad that you have a great group of friends back home, but I understand it is frustrating when you haven't got the same thing at Uni. I understand how you feel and it can feel lonely at Uni when you haven't met your people, but you will meet them so try not to worry too much. Here are some ways that I have made friends or met new people while I have been at Uni and some of these might help you out:

I know you have tried societies and didn't enjoy them, but you could always try again in the new year. There may be new people there that you get along with better so it might be worth a try. There may be a society that you like the sound of better so it might be worth a look!


If you don't want to join a society, have a look and see if there are any clubs or groups you can join that are local to you but not associated with your Uni. There will quite often be sports teams or other local clubs that you might like the sound of.


Even just things like going to the gym or gym classes can be really good for making new friends as you will meet new people doing this. See if there is a local gym you can join, or if you like things such as yoga there may be a local studio that you can go to.


Have a look on social media and see if you can meet anybody this way. This can be a great way of meeting some new people so have a look on Facebook as there will often be groups on there that you can join and meet new people.


See if your student union puts any events on. The SU will often put events on and they are really good and you can meet so many other students here! Have a look and see if yours is putting any on.


I hope some of this helps,

Lucy -SHU student ambassador.
Original post by Anonymous
I'm nearly at the end of my first year studying at UWE and feel as though I've only made 2 proper friends. I've tried the societies and didn't really enjoy them and I feel like everywhere I look everyone is in groups and I'm all alone. I really don't know what to do and I feel so lonely as I have such a good group of friends back at home
Any advice is greatly appreciated

Hi @anonymous #1,

Sorry to hear you're struggling with this, it's definitely more common than you think and lots of people will be feeling the same! Making two friends is amazing and I came away from Uni with two very good friends myself 🙂

I love the advice others have given of asking your home friends to come and stay with you / visit! You can always bring friends to you at Uni. In terms of making new friends, it can be scary to reach out to start with but once the first move has been made it's less daunting! Course mates can definitely be a good place to start or friends of friends, any hobbies or activities that you enjoy.

You've made some great friends already and you are still at the start of your journey, you never know who you will meet along the way!

Take care,

Courtney

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