Relationship advise

13

Hey M16 currently sitting GCSEs in May ( definently not panicking) and having major struggle with feeling accepted. Exams don't worry me too much but I hate feeling like my intellect is a turn off when theres so much more to me. It feels like people only judge surface level instead of my personality (INFJ-T if your wondering and a major romantic). I know theres not long left but ig I just tired of being alone

Reply 1

Username123ab

17

You're 16, I wouldn't worry about relationships

Reply 2

TheROOKZ

10

Hey, I'm currently in the same boat as u sitting gcses this year. Honestly, it's rough and it might just be these feelings that are driving these thoughts. People consider me an academic weapon but trying to fit in isn't easy at all - especially when u don't feel ourself like u fully belong in these groups. If these people don't appreciate who you are, you need to find a group that does or at least reach out to others here on this platform. If u need someone to talk to, everyone here is ready to support you. All the best

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

hey, fellow INFJ here (F) who is also academically driven! I finished uni last year so I am older and I can tell you that at your age, I wasnt even thinking about relationships and I promise you you dont need to worry, focus on those exams and when you get to college/advanced levels relationships will come to you more naturally. As an INFJ you will feel so good because they feel valuable when they do set in.
I have a boyfriend now and he's INTJ so we are both intellectual but he is less emotional (which is a lil struggle but he is opening up because of how romantic I am!) I promise you, though it is really scary to think about because lonliness is naturally against what humans are used to, but you will grow into an amazing person that people will hold you dear in their lives, even if they dont say it you just feel it when you build those connections (which for me started in college too!)

Reply 4

Lbland23

OP

13

Original post

by Anonymous

hey, fellow INFJ here (F) who is also academically driven! I finished uni last year so I am older and I can tell you that at your age, I wasnt even thinking about relationships and I promise you you dont need to worry, focus on those exams and when you get to college/advanced levels relationships will come to you more naturally. As an INFJ you will feel so good because they feel valuable when they do set in.
I have a boyfriend now and he's INTJ so we are both intellectual but he is less emotional (which is a lil struggle but he is opening up because of how romantic I am!) I promise you, though it is really scary to think about because lonliness is naturally against what humans are used to, but you will grow into an amazing person that people will hold you dear in their lives, even if they dont say it you just feel it when you build those connections (which for me started in college too!)

Omg this is perfect tysm. Its just what I needed rn. Its so far to see a fellow INFJ aswell. How did college go for you?

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Original post

by Lbland23

Omg this is perfect tysm. Its just what I needed rn. Its so far to see a fellow INFJ aswell. How did college go for you?

so glad that it helped to hear! And college was stressful A level wise, I pushed myself far too hard and though I did "well" in the end, I regret a lot... DONT do four A Levels!! Seriously... but outside of that, I had two close friends that Id meet up with on lunches but didnt do much outside of college, and seriously neglected my mental heath so when I started uni I needed a full year of therapy to realise that I was struggling. I've been working a parttime retail job since leaving uni to save up for the Masters, and its now that I realised how accepting you have to be of yourself.
Dont set expectations for yourself, set goals. Don't expect yourself to get a certain grade or be in a certain career, aim for it and if you mishoot, work with wherever your trajectory has taken you. Im saying this because like me I feel like you also self reflect on yourself due to outside things (like not making friends in school like you'd expect)-- so dont expect! Go into your exams as best you can with the want to do well, and then look forward to whatever the outcome is so you can work with it and move your life on! Be positive!!!!

Reply 6

Anonymous #2

Oh my goodness! I was in exactly your situation. I finished GCSEs last year and got 11 9s, but I was hopelessly in love with someone who barely knew I existed. That ended badly. I have always felt very alone, I have never been in a romantic relationship. I decided after GCSEs I would try to at least talk to some girls, just know that most of the time it really hurts, I got rejected about 5 times and it hurts a lot, especially as a fellow major romantic. Though I discovered it gets easier, and I finally found someone who really cares about me and we are very close to starting something. I want to tell you to follow your heart, but then looking back on it, exams and everything are much more important at this point and girls have been a bit distracting, plus it really will probably take a while to find someone and before that there will be so much disappointment most likely.

Reply 7

Abiola1996

5

Original post

by Lbland23

Hey M16 currently sitting GCSEs in May ( definently not panicking) and having major struggle with feeling accepted. Exams don't worry me too much but I hate feeling like my intellect is a turn off when theres so much more to me. It feels like people only judge surface level instead of my personality (INFJ-T if your wondering and a major romantic). I know theres not long left but ig I just tired of being alone

You better be alone at this right age so that you will not be at the wrong age. There is time for everything under the sun

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