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my friend WONT STOP telling me how much she revises

ok so pls someone tell me if im going insane
but my best friend at school literally CANNOT go 5 mins without (i dont wanna say boasting but idk what else to say) about how much shes revising and the work shes doing. like every single day i get a detailed breakdown of the ‘5 hours of physics she did last night’ and the ‘100 quotes she learnt’ and how she gor 78/80 in her most recent maths test (she looks up how to do it anyway?!?)
now its not just a couple days or in real life, i get actual 10 minute long videos on snap every single night of everything shes done that night and its constant.
and obviously at first i was very happy for her, im proud of her for being so motivated but its really bringing me down in terms of constantly feeling like im not doing enough, when in reality i am, im just trying to preserve my mental health at the same time, and its also making me feel like shes putting me on a pedestal as something to compare herself to, or as a way to make herself feel better and seek validation (this is what my counsellor said) as im someone who consistently manages to get 9s with quite low effort and maybe shes annoyed idk??? but am i being a selfish bum or is this valid to get ****ed off about? i just dont understand why she needs to constantly tell me how much work shes done?? i dont come out of a practice paper and immediately think OMG LET ME TELL HER I GOT 76/80!!!!

Reply 1

Original post by islahope
ok so pls someone tell me if im going insane
but my best friend at school literally CANNOT go 5 mins without (i dont wanna say boasting but idk what else to say) about how much shes revising and the work shes doing. like every single day i get a detailed breakdown of the ‘5 hours of physics she did last night’ and the ‘100 quotes she learnt’ and how she gor 78/80 in her most recent maths test (she looks up how to do it anyway?!?)
now its not just a couple days or in real life, i get actual 10 minute long videos on snap every single night of everything shes done that night and its constant.
and obviously at first i was very happy for her, im proud of her for being so motivated but its really bringing me down in terms of constantly feeling like im not doing enough, when in reality i am, im just trying to preserve my mental health at the same time, and its also making me feel like shes putting me on a pedestal as something to compare herself to, or as a way to make herself feel better and seek validation (this is what my counsellor said) as im someone who consistently manages to get 9s with quite low effort and maybe shes annoyed idk??? but am i being a selfish bum or is this valid to get ****ed off about? i just dont understand why she needs to constantly tell me how much work shes done?? i dont come out of a practice paper and immediately think OMG LET ME TELL HER I GOT 76/80!!!!

I sense a bit of jealousy. You wont be upset if you were operating at her level. Yes, you may be trying to preserve your mental health, but you should be happy for your friend.

As your counsellor said, she is probably doing it because she looks up to you. You can have a honest conversation with her and tell her not to look up to you, that you are slightly annoyed by her constant communication.

Good luck.
(edited 1 month ago)

Reply 2

Original post by Wired_1800
I sense a bit of jealousy. You wont be upset if you were operating at her level. Yes, you may be trying to preserve your mental health, but you should be happy for your friend.
As your counsellor said, she is probably doing it because she looks up to you. You can have a honest conversation with her and tell her not to look up to you, that you are slightly annoyed by her constant communication.
Good luck.

yes tbf i see where you’re coming from and i think youre probably a bit right (as much as i hate to admit) but also i revise almost as much as her and dont feel the need to tell her every single time i pick up my pen, when its all she ever talks about and generally i feel quite prepared 90% of the time, just the constant showing off is panicking me despite the fact i know im doing enough if you know what i mean?

Reply 3

Original post by islahope
yes tbf i see where you’re coming from and i think youre probably a bit right (as much as i hate to admit) but also i revise almost as much as her and dont feel the need to tell her every single time i pick up my pen, when its all she ever talks about and generally i feel quite prepared 90% of the time, just the constant showing off is panicking me despite the fact i know im doing enough if you know what i mean?

That’s fair.

You should speak with her and let her know that the study chat makes you to panic about your school work. It would be if you guys can talk about other things non-school related. Hopefully, she gets the point and moved on from that subject.

Good luck

Reply 4

thanks so much for your help, im seeing her tomorrow and will talk to her if it comes up :smile:

Reply 5

Original post by islahope
thanks so much for your help, im seeing her tomorrow and will talk to her if it comes up :smile:

Good luck :smile:

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