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Could someone mark this please? AQA History 2023 Summer Paper 1 Section A

Reply 1

I am not a teacher nor do i remember my GCSEs in detail so i can not comment on exam technique. However, i would note the following.

Ditch the phrase "i know from my own knowledge". By simply stating the fact (i.e the Soviets launched the first satellite), you save words and it doesnt feel as clunky to read.

On top of that, if possible, i would add in a bit more detail to some of your points. For example, you say "the USA spent millions of dollars in the space race". Perhaps instead include that the NASA's budget was roughly $100 million in 1958. Add this level of detail wherever possible.

The UN never entered Vietnam militarily and the US only sent troops to Vietnam in 1965. That being said, they (the US) did financially support France to the tune of $4 billion until 1954. Equally, whilst the USSR did provide support, the fighting in Vietnam during the 1950s (and for that matter for the whole war) was done primarily by the North Vietnamese themselves.

Also note that the source is Chinese in origin not Soviet. There is a difference (although of course this is a speech at an international communist meeting in Moscow).

Avoid labelling a source as biased. Instead you could simply say it is from a Chinese perspective or an example of propaganda.

In source C, you repeatedly say it is "somewhat true" but all evidence presented is supporting Mao's words. Maybe throw in that in the 1950s the USA had a massive nuclear advantage (in 1956 the US had 560 strategic bombers, the USSR had 60).

Nixon visited neither China nor the USSR in the 1960s (both in 1972).

In the essay, i could not tell what your argument was. Change your introduction to include a judgement of some kind.

Try to avoid using the first person. Instead of "i believe xyz" it could read "Whilst other factors such as the CMC and BW substantially increased tensions, it was ultimately the events in Czecheslovakia which most flared hostilities.

In your essay's first paragraph, you say "The Prague Spring increased tensions between the east and the west, this is because Dubcek introduced reforms that Brezhnev did not like at all." Whilst you do go on to explain how this increased tensions, your opening line seems to suggest that Brezhnev's dissatisfaction with Dubcek somehow caused tensions to increase between East and West. I think your point is more that the PS showed that people were unhappy with the regime? Or that the split in USSR-Chinese relations was significant? (if it is the second one, be aware that this split occurred much earlier than 1968).

The Berlin wall was built in August 1961, not May.

Did the CMC show that the USSR had more power at the time?

I am aware the above may read as critical (sorry!) but remember i am only commenting on what i would change not what i would keep. Hope this is helpful

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