Starting Uni in mid 20s

2

Original post

by TheStudyWIZARD

For what it's worth, I've got multiple friends who have started University later in life. The one closest to your age though, started his Entry Degree in 2022/2023 at 26. He's now in his second year of his Undergraduate Degree at 28 (he'll turn 29 this year) and isn't set to finish University until he's 30 next year. Nobody views him any differently though! Sure, he get the ol' old man joke occasionally, but nobody actually thinks any differently of him. He's on his own path, which isn't behind or in-front of anybody else.

I would say that it does depend on how well the individual “blends in.” Like most people thought I was permanently 23 just because I generally don’t ‘dress my age’ - being 30 though, I’m not really sure what that’s supposed to mean. 🤷 I guess my fashion was just “trendy” so it helped.

But you definitely feel social pressure in some weird ways - like especially in first year, people would try to press FOMO onto you, which was generally pretty annoying and it didn’t stop people from being “cliquey” - which was WEIRD to experience in a place like Nottingham.

Reply 1

PQ

Clearing and Applications Advisor, Universities Forum Helper

21

Original post

by Anonymous

If anyone knows where i can advice from people who went to uni in their 20s please let me know!
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Context:

Hi everyone, i'm a 22 yo first-year physics student at uni, but i'm still thinking of applying to uni again for 2025/6 entry (2026 if i want to apply to oxbridge which i hope is still an option) because i'm not sure if my course is for me. Don't get me wrong, i do like physics but it's more of a safety net - it's broad and i don't see myself doing a masters in physics let alone a phd.

For context i finished sixth form in 2020 right as the pandemic lockdown began. I did well academically - Covid grades but A*AAA. I initially took a gap year as i had NO clue what i wanted to do - 4 years have flown by and im still in the same position to the point i question if i have ADHD (among other things like anxiety but this isn't what this post is for) because the procrastination is on another level even when i try to figure out what i want to do in life. I feel like i'm still in the same stage as a sixth form student.

Right now i'm just lonely (50/50 by choice), attending lectures and staying in my room - met the flatmates who are lovely but i haven't formed anything close to a friendship yet. Looking to go to internship fairs etc. I don't even have good clothes i'm literally a walking shell (at least to others if i was honest). Scrolling through tiktoks and seeing people graduating from med school at 23 etc is killing meee.

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Anyways here is my plan (if anyone can check this i'd really appreciate it!):

Do my best with first year and try anything and everything to get some sort of income. Really improve myself as a person.

1) If that happens and i realize there is a better course out there then i'll either drop out early or do the full year and get references from tutors to apply in 2025.

2) Stick it out with the degree and either start working, begin a masters in anything i'm interested in at the time or a second undergraduate degree (which already sounds draining which is why i'd rather not but at the same time at least i have a degree).

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Worries (socially):

I'm also worried about the social aspect. What would it be like being a 24/25 year old fresher? I would much rather be around people my age but i know that's not feasible at uni, especially because i'd like to engage with people at uni for the uni experience and most people my age will have finished uni and working.

And graduating near 30 is crazy to me. Can't believe how it's come to this.

Thanks for reading if you did.

What did you do during your gap years?

Reply 2

artful_lounger

Universities Forum Helper

22

Original post

by Anonymous

If anyone knows where i can advice from people who went to uni in their 20s please let me know!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Context:

Hi everyone, i'm a 22 yo first-year physics student at uni, but i'm still thinking of applying to uni again for 2025/6 entry (2026 if i want to apply to oxbridge which i hope is still an option) because i'm not sure if my course is for me. Don't get me wrong, i do like physics but it's more of a safety net - it's broad and i don't see myself doing a masters in physics let alone a phd.

For context i finished sixth form in 2020 right as the pandemic lockdown began. I did well academically - Covid grades but A*AAA. I initially took a gap year as i had NO clue what i wanted to do - 4 years have flown by and im still in the same position to the point i question if i have ADHD (among other things like anxiety but this isn't what this post is for) because the procrastination is on another level even when i try to figure out what i want to do in life. I feel like i'm still in the same stage as a sixth form student.

Right now i'm just lonely (50/50 by choice), attending lectures and staying in my room - met the flatmates who are lovely but i haven't formed anything close to a friendship yet. Looking to go to internship fairs etc. I don't even have good clothes i'm literally a walking shell (at least to others if i was honest). Scrolling through tiktoks and seeing people graduating from med school at 23 etc is killing meee.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Anyways here is my plan (if anyone can check this i'd really appreciate it!):

Do my best with first year and try anything and everything to get some sort of income. Really improve myself as a person.

1) If that happens and i realize there is a better course out there then i'll either drop out early or do the full year and get references from tutors to apply in 2025.

2) Stick it out with the degree and either start working, begin a masters in anything i'm interested in at the time or a second undergraduate degree (which already sounds draining which is why i'd rather not but at the same time at least i have a degree).

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Worries (socially):

I'm also worried about the social aspect. What would it be like being a 24/25 year old fresher? I would much rather be around people my age but i know that's not feasible at uni, especially because i'd like to engage with people at uni for the uni experience and most people my age will have finished uni and working.

And graduating near 30 is crazy to me. Can't believe how it's come to this.

Thanks for reading if you did.

There is no material difference between a 24/25 year old fresher and an 18 year old fresher. You look the same, are broadly at the same point in your life, and do the same kinds of things. Unless you yourself choose not to partake in certain activities, it's literally a non-factor. However...

Note that most graduates don't do anything related to their first degree, and physics will give you the option of essentially any possible grad job. I've known physics grads go into finance grad schemes, insurance/actuarial grad schemes, software development grad schemes, etc. You could also just as well go into e.g. accountancy, law, any generalist business/managerial function grad scheme, the civil service, etc etc. You seem hung up on the fact you aren't planning to go the academic route as a physicist but that's not uncommon (in fact I'd argue that it's more common for physics grads to NOT go into academia). So if you like your subject and are doing well, there's no reason not to stick with it.

Also it's very common for undergraduate students to not know what they are going to do after their degree especially earlier in the degree - many don't have a fixed plan until they approach (or are in!) final year! This is not unusual.

The actual issues here seem to be:

a) you are overly focused on what other people are doing, especially by looking at social media. You need to recognise this as unhealthy behaviour and when you find yourself "doomscrolling" or comparing yourself to other people on social media, to stop that negative cycle of thoughts about yourself. It's very important to remember that people present themselves on social media in an extremely restricted and polished way and that is NOT representative of essentially anyone. Thinking social media is an accurate representation of someone's life, or what your life should be, is like looking at pictures of fashion models and thinking "why don't I look like that" - it's because what is being depicted is an extreme version of life, captured in an extremely narrow snapshot of it.

b) your lack of socialisation which is causing you to feel isolated - this may not be the answer you want to hear but, this is really down to you. Changing uni is not going to magically make you a social butterfly (I know, from personal experience). All it's going to do is move you, as the same person with the same behaviours, into a new location. If you want to change your behaviour patterns around socialising and become more social, you can do that where you are now. You don't need to change uni to do that. Likewise if you want to wear "better" clothes, nothing is stopping you doing that in terms of behaviour (granted money may be a barrier, but that would be the same as at your other uni).

c) for career worries, remember you're only in your first year. Few if any first year students REALLY know what they are doing or what they want to do. At least half if not more of those "gunner" students bragging about how they're planning to become investment bankers or whatever aren't even going to secure an insight week much less a summer scheme, and a good chunk of those who do will realise that kind of work is totally not for them anyway! Same applies to really any career sector. You are going to uni to figure this stuff out, not to know it already. If it's a real concern, try checking out your uni's careers resources - they will likely have a variety of online resources, and you can try and set up a meeting if you want to get some more detailed information. Also as stated - most graduates go into jobs unrelated to their degrees, and most grad schemes literally don't care what you studied, they just care if you got a degree in anything.

You don't seem to hate your course, or have any issues with the uni you're at itself - your concerns all seem to centre around uncertainty with the future and some poorly adapted coping mechanisms with that (i.e. withdrawal and "doomscrolling" activities). These are things you can change - and if it's affecting your day to day life and causing you a lot of anxiety, stress, or depression, it may well be worth speaking to your GP about these as well for support in that!

As stated initially, if you do change uni it's not a big deal at your age (I went back to uni...older than that...and it's fine :tongue:

). But as someone who also changed uni around your age before then for at least parallel if not related/similar reasons...I can tell you that things won't just change due to a change in location - and you should really make sure you are changing uni/course for the right reasons.

Also as previously stated by other users, life beyond school is really independent of your age. There is no expectation or requirement to have achieved certain things by certain ages in life as an adult.

Reply 3

A Certain Clause

OP

2

Original post

by Anonymous

If anyone knows where i can advice from people who went to uni in their 20s please let me know!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Context:
Hi everyone, i'm a 22 yo first-year physics student at uni, but i'm still thinking of applying to uni again for 2025/6 entry (2026 if i want to apply to oxbridge which i hope is still an option) because i'm not sure if my course is for me. Don't get me wrong, i do like physics but it's more of a safety net - it's broad and i don't see myself doing a masters in physics let alone a phd.
For context i finished sixth form in 2020 right as the pandemic lockdown began. I did well academically - Covid grades but A*AAA. I initially took a gap year as i had NO clue what i wanted to do - 4 years have flown by and im still in the same position to the point i question if i have ADHD (among other things like anxiety but this isn't what this post is for) because the procrastination is on another level even when i try to figure out what i want to do in life. I feel like i'm still in the same stage as a sixth form student.
Right now i'm just lonely (50/50 by choice), attending lectures and staying in my room - met the flatmates who are lovely but i haven't formed anything close to a friendship yet. Looking to go to internship fairs etc. I don't even have good clothes i'm literally a walking shell (at least to others if i was honest). Scrolling through tiktoks and seeing people graduating from med school at 23 etc is killing meee.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Anyways here is my plan (if anyone can check this i'd really appreciate it!):
Do my best with first year and try anything and everything to get some sort of income. Really improve myself as a person.
1) If that happens and i realize there is a better course out there then i'll either drop out early or do the full year and get references from tutors to apply in 2025.
2) Stick it out with the degree and either start working, begin a masters in anything i'm interested in at the time or a second undergraduate degree (which already sounds draining which is why i'd rather not but at the same time at least i have a degree).
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Worries (socially):
I'm also worried about the social aspect. What would it be like being a 24/25 year old fresher? I would much rather be around people my age but i know that's not feasible at uni, especially because i'd like to engage with people at uni for the uni experience and most people my age will have finished uni and working.
And graduating near 30 is crazy to me. Can't believe how it's come to this.
Thanks for reading if you did.

So I went to uni at 26 - I graduated when I was 29. Life has had many twists and turns and it still seems like it has zero intention of slowing down ever. I digress.

In your shoes, I would definitely try to understand what about uni isn't clicking for you. You sound very competent academically - but the whole looking at where your peers are is killing your own motivation. I don't know what you did on your 4-year long "gap yar" but I don't think that really matters right now.

For all intents and purposes, it sounds like you picked Physics because you were good at it but don't have a clear idea about what you want to do with it. Honestly, I would suggest leaving uni and trying to find a "normal" job so that you can get some perspective and genuinely try to understand what kind of career you actually want - because you don't sound like a career academic, but equally it sounds like you have no idea what to do once you finish uni. That's an issue, because these days, you don't go to uni just for the piece of paper - that's actually how you get trapped in a career you don't want. Figuring that part out is going to be essential moving forwards, what do you do after uni? What's the "what next"? As an aside, despite how 'progressive' people like to think the UK is compared to other countries, it is very conservative in its workforce approach - ie: It doesn't tend to favour people who jump careers a lot; comes with the territory of a class system, but the systems embedded in British society tend to prefer people who "stay in their lane." Hence why it is important to have an idea about what you want to do after uni, despite people who may be saying, "You can do anything with a Physics degree."

In your position, I would put aside the social aspect - socialising at uni can make the entire experience more memorable but it's not a reason to stay. Seriously, going into thousands of pounds of debt for socialising is a REALLY bad idea. Quite besides, having gone to uni in my mid-20s, socialising was never an issue - people don't really see your age unless you bring it up, but don't be surprised to see some seriously cliquey groups of people who haven't evolved much beyond what they did at high school (I know certain people at post-grad who still haven't evolved much beyond high school...)

As a counterpoint, you could also stick with things at uni - second year actually counts. And so that weight might become its own form of motivation. You could also chat to a career advisor to find out what you can actually do with a Physics degree - because then they could direct you to resources that you can help with alternatives. Plus, if you stick at second year, you could try joining clubs or societies to try and make friends - they might just be temporary ones - but drifting away from friends over time is just a fact of life, it happens.

Good luck.

Oxbridge specific advice: The four-year long gap year (where we don't know what you did) would come across as a red flag unless you can explain it very well. But if you weren't doing something meaningful, they're (rightfully) going to question whether you have the motivation to stick at their course - they're also not keen on people who switch from other unis, forewarning. But that aside, even though you have very good A-Levels, there's still going to be hundreds of applicants for Physics that have your grades - you really need to think about what you have done differently to help yourself stand-out.

(edited 11 months ago)

Reply 4

Thisismyunitsr

20

I went when I was 23 and I didn't feel behind socially at all. I felt the degree was a waste of time and did not progress my career at all (it regressed it in a lot of ways) but socially I was fine.

Starting Uni in mid 20s

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