My girlfriend Vaped and smoked Weed for a month and kept it away from me

In the past 2 days I had found out my girlfriend of 2 years smoked nicotine and weed for an entire month in March of 2024. Im not the kind of guy to invade personal privacy or even look through my girlfriends phone because I trust her insanely and shes never given me a reason to, And although shes looked through my phone behind my back and had confronted to me about her actions it was okay with me because I understood but back to the fact. I had only gained suspicion she might've done something wrong and was keeping it a secret when we had deep conversation about our feelings and the whole phone searching and trusting each other and the entire time I felt this guilt coming off of her. So when we made up and went home I waited till she fell asleep I took my chance and had found videos and photos of her and her vape and wax pen whatever you call it of her smoking it and I could see the addiction and it made me sick and feel horribly sad due to the fact that it went over my head and I was speechless and I felt like my chest had weights on it, so I took immediate calm action and had asked her about her vaping and she held back a little but told the truth and at the time I wasnt 100% of her smoking weed but I still asked and she denied it and lied and she knows how I feel about smoking in general. But later that night I was confident I saw her with a wax pen and a joint and repeated the same thing I checked her phone while she slept and I was right and I hate that I didn’t react better like I did the first time because I woke her up by pushing her awake and had asked her why she was lying to me about her smoking weed and she kept on trying to lie about it until she finally told the truth and from there I just dont know what to think we had a talk about how it made me feel but I still feel more betrayed than the first time because she not only lied for a year she was gonna keep doing it and then was gonna do it again because I didn’t find out about the weed and I felt hurt and ashamed because she had convinced me to smoke weed and Im not entirely negative about the whole thing but i was convinced because i thought we both did for the first time and it was like a bonding moment and now it just feels like a mistake. And I don’t know how to explore my options or really express my feelings about the whole situation.

Ease up, it’s not a wonder she didn’t tell you with this type of attitude

Is it actually that deep, it's only vaping and weed? Probably just forcing yourself to find something to be mad at then you can justify breaking up with her to yourself

Or it just actually matters to them

It's such a minor thing, if OP is older is older than like 15 it's just reaching

It’s an unhealthy addiction tho so really it isn’t minor for some people

It’s an unhealthy addiction tho so really it isn’t minor for some people

In the past 2 days I had found out my girlfriend of 2 years smoked nicotine and weed for an entire month in March of 2024. Im not the kind of guy to invade personal privacy or even look through my girlfriends phone because I trust her insanely and shes never given me a reason to, And although shes looked through my phone behind my back and had confronted to me about her actions it was okay with me because I understood but back to the fact. I had only gained suspicion she might've done something wrong and was keeping it a secret when we had deep conversation about our feelings and the whole phone searching and trusting each other and the entire time I felt this guilt coming off of her. So when we made up and went home I waited till she fell asleep I took my chance and had found videos and photos of her and her vape and wax pen whatever you call it of her smoking it and I could see the addiction and it made me sick and feel horribly sad due to the fact that it went over my head and I was speechless and I felt like my chest had weights on it, so I took immediate calm action and had asked her about her vaping and she held back a little but told the truth and at the time I wasnt 100% of her smoking weed but I still asked and she denied it and lied and she knows how I feel about smoking in general. But later that night I was confident I saw her with a wax pen and a joint and repeated the same thing I checked her phone while she slept and I was right and I hate that I didn’t react better like I did the first time because I woke her up by pushing her awake and had asked her why she was lying to me about her smoking weed and she kept on trying to lie about it until she finally told the truth and from there I just dont know what to think we had a talk about how it made me feel but I still feel more betrayed than the first time because she not only lied for a year she was gonna keep doing it and then was gonna do it again because I didn’t find out about the weed and I felt hurt and ashamed because she had convinced me to smoke weed and Im not entirely negative about the whole thing but i was convinced because i thought we both did for the first time and it was like a bonding moment and now it just feels like a mistake. And I don’t know how to explore my options or really express my feelings about the whole situation.

I don't like smoking or weed either. Never even been slightly tempted to do either. But if my girlfriend at university (now my wife) had done either for a month at some point and not told me I couldn't tell you how little I'd care. For all I know she actually did given that she spent a year abroad.
This is a massive overreaction, but if it's such a big deal for you and you feel like the trust in the relationship has gone, the answer is to break up with your girlfriend. Given all the drama and interrogation I'm not sure where you're heading if it isn't that. If you don't break up with her, I expect there's a very good chance that she breaks up with you, but this whole going through her phone repeatedly, and shaking her awake to admonish her is really poor behaviour. I'd be surprised if she wasn't having very serious thoughts about breaking up with you after you put her through that.