How to get over whatever this is

I’ve talked to this guy for around 9 months, we met through university and at first I (f) wasn’t really interested in him (m) until recently. We got really close to a point where we went on trips together and travelled to multiple cities, we watched movies almost everyday at my place every so often to a point where my flatmates thought there was something going on between us. I was going through some emotional issues and he was also there to sooth and comfort me (saw my worst side, ugly cry and literally held onto me while I sobbed). For weeks/months at a time he would check up on me and ask if I’ve eaten, and if I didn’t answer he would come to my place and cook for me. I’m not sure if it’s just a thing friends do for each-other or if there’s something more to this. We would talk until 4am 5am almost everyday at my flat after watching movies together. We also listened to the same music and shared earphones (as cheesy as it sounds ;<) It honestly felt like I was being protected by him. He even made sure to walk me back after a late night concert to my place. We celebrated Christmas, Halloween and new years together and even got drunk together. He seemed more out-going and extroverted than I was and way bolder than I’ll ever be. Everywhere I went he would always tag along, he’d ask if I had plans and it felt like he wanted to spend time with me. It felt like we were emotionally in-tuned with each other too although our signs are literally polar opposites. Around January he flew back to his home country and we started distancing eachother bc of our schedules/timezones and that it was also exam season. I’ve just recently got in contact with him. Not until recently I started to think about him and all the things that took place between us and I’ve been crashing out over this because maybe we did have something between us. I reached out to him again, tho we don’t talk as often as much anymore (he flew back to his home university). I brought it up to him about my feelings about him and he kinda “Brushed it off”. He told me to move on so I’ve accepted that and will move on. We agreed to stay as supportive friends as he lives 8 hours apart from where I live. Is this a case of me not acknowledging his feelings earlier or was this just a case of friends being friends/lovebombing

I think this also has something to do with my attachment style and other on-going issues/factors that play to this

Ps I still think of him almost on a daily basis :frown:

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

I can't say for sure but I don't think you have any attachment issue at least in this case and as a guy I would definitely say he liked you but maybe he thinks you wont be that serious about this relationship that would make him give up everything he has at his home/uni now

Honestly I don't think I'm at the best place to give advice but I would say follow your heart and if you think you really like him and you want the relationship to last then keep working on it like he did when you're going through a hard time and see if he likes you that much

Ofc there's also a possibility that he didn't like you thaaaat much in the first place but for me if I did all that **** with you it would not just be a crush or "cuz we're friends"

Reply 2

Anonymous #3

did he ever like u??

Reply 3

Anonymous #4

Make friends with him and offer to fly out to see him. Show some commitment that you are willing to see him. Maybe he has moved on or maybe he needs to know you are willing to relocate to see him?

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

Original post

by Anonymous

Make friends with him and offer to fly out to see him. Show some commitment that you are willing to see him. Maybe he has moved on or maybe he needs to know you are willing to relocate to see him?

We’ve been friends for a while, just stopped talking less and I’m currently in uni right now so it’ll be kinda difficult to just relocate suddenly just for a guy I’ve known for not even a year. He seems like he’s moved on already and I don’t think I want to bother him or annoy him anymore

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Original post

by Anonymous

did he ever like u??

Not sure 😭

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Original post

by Anonymous

I can't say for sure but I don't think you have any attachment issue at least in this case and as a guy I would definitely say he liked you but maybe he thinks you wont be that serious about this relationship that would make him give up everything he has at his home/uni now
Honestly I don't think I'm at the best place to give advice but I would say follow your heart and if you think you really like him and you want the relationship to last then keep working on it like he did when you're going through a hard time and see if he likes you that much
Ofc there's also a possibility that he didn't like you thaaaat much in the first place but for me if I did all that **** with you it would not just be a crush or "cuz we're friends"

He hasnt been responding to my texts as frequently so I’ve js assumed somethings happened and maybe he’s just moved on 😭

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

Original post

by Anonymous

Make friends with him and offer to fly out to see him. Show some commitment that you are willing to see him. Maybe he has moved on or maybe he needs to know you are willing to relocate to see him?

Though we did talk about celebrating graduation with him and me flying iver to his place to celebrate together, we’ve gotten so distanced it feels like we’ve almost completely lost contact with eachother, still unsure if we’ll still be friends by the time he graduates

Reply 8

Anonymous #5

Im pretty sure he liked you and then you just...idk like didn't reciprocate those feelings so he moved on...then you said you liked him but he already moved on