Boyfriend going to drop female colleague

Sorry but why are you giving advice then? You are just making the situation for the OP more confusing. Gurleen, I’m guessing your Sikh/punjabi, so am I. You do not seem confident in this relationship, the way you describe the dynamic, I’m sorry but just because he's 10 years older than you does not mean you are “emotionally immature” or that “you create drama subconsciously ” Have a conversation with him, tell him you did not feel alright about what he did and mention why specifically you feel upset (your previous relationship) any right mature man would be open to communication and would try their best to comfort your worries. If he is unable to do that, he is not a mature man like you describe him to be. Be strong minded and confident like a Kaur and our Guru ji’s.

Feels abusive behaviour or at least very unpleasant. How’s the relationships otherwise. Personally I would consider dumping him and looking for someone better and closer in age

yeah that's a bit sus tbh

Don't you think you are kinda telling me that it is my responsibility that i should send him message or call after the argument when we both were angry. I'm might be taking it wrong but from your message it look like that. And when he already know things like this are hurting me because of my previous relationship traumas( i had open conversation with him about it) still he choose to do it regardless.

Have to disagree here if it's his workplace. I worked in bars and stayed behind to drink a lot. The bad behaviour here if any is from the colleague who came to drink on a day off.
We also don't know if OP had set any relationship boundaries with regards to leaving work immediately rather than having a few drinks.

For someone that spent that day not talking to their partner after an argument you seem very expectant for apologies and grovelling.
The circumstances are slightly suss, but could just as equally be someone blowing off steam after a fight, unless you know he DID anything, he doesn't have anything to be sorry over or apologise for hurting you over.

what you were on my thread too giving horible advice, what is wrong with you. Him actively talking about a FEMALE colegue to someone who has said to him she has panic attacks and overthinks is TOXIC and abusive behaviour. you are so apathetic. He absolutely should be sorry and apologise, as OP already explained the argument started from him misunderstanding her, this entire situation is the man's fault. I feel like you give incel/misoginist vibes. How old are you.

How is that abusive.
They had an argument, when she finally let her pride go and she contacted him, he told her within half an hour what he was doing.
Assuming he was being honest and did not sleep with her, nothing he did was especially wrong and certainly not abusive.

Not coming home and then messaging that you are drunk with another woman..

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year and a half. He is 10 years older than me and a very mature man.
Yesterday, while he was getting ready for work, we had an argument. We didn’t talk the whole day—no calls, no messages. He usually comes back around 11:30 PM, but last night he didn’t come home on time.
I got worried and messaged him around 12:05 AM. He replied saying he was with a female colleague, and they were both drunk. She wasn’t able to handle herself, so he was dropping her home. But he didn’t inform me about any of this until I messaged him.
In my previous relationship, I was cheated on three times by my ex. I kept giving him chances. Now, I’m feeling worried again. My current boyfriend doesn’t seem to feel sorry or think that what he did was wrong. There’s no humbleness or effort to talk to me about how I’m feeling. He hasn’t said anything like, “I know I hurt you” or asked how I’m doing.
I can’t stop overthinking, and I’m really worried.

what you were on my thread too giving horible advice, what is wrong with you. Him actively talking about a FEMALE colegue to someone who has said to him she has panic attacks and overthinks is TOXIC and abusive behaviour. you are so apathetic. He absolutely should be sorry and apologise, as OP already explained the argument started from him misunderstanding her, this entire situation is the man's fault. I feel like you give incel/misoginist vibes. How old are you.

Funny how every bit of blame is only going one way here, that's really all I'm pointing out, arguments are two way.. you can't fall out with/hurt your partner and sit blaming them entirely for not calling to ask how you are or being surprised they want to vent to a friend?
I've no dislike or hatred of women in the slightest and I'm also in a long term successful relationship, but that doesn't mean I need to be an eggshell walking doormat to anyone. I can absolutely sympathise with anxiety, insecurity and paranoia etc, but a relationship where this sort of dispute or meltdown is always seconds away sounds like hell to me tbh
At the risk of further gasps of outrage, OP if you take a break from your relationship for 3 odd months you almost certainly can't go back, it'll be over as almost no one is going to wait anywhere near that long for resolution, so just be sure that's what you are comfortable with.

I agree to some extent - we are hearing the side of the OP, there would have to be another convo with his side. But I’m here to help the OP rather than guess his side.
Let me say this again, blowing off steam is completely fine if there’s open communication. In a relationship, especially when you live together, you have responsibility to check in especially if you're coming home really late. The OP has said this happens often. Once or twice, sure. But when it becomes a pattern, and he's dismissive or avoids talking about it, causes feelings of insecurity and confusion. A girl wants security, she wants to be able to speak up without fearing it’ll “cause a fuss.” So please think about what you say on this thread. Calling it a “meltdown” is minimising what she’s going through. It’s not overreacting, it’s a response to being repeatedly hurt and unheard. Instead we should be helping not judging (“sounds like hell to me”)