gcse english language help!

can someone please mark my answer to aqa english language paper 1 q2 (the paper is november 2019)

I wrote this in like 15 minutes as I picked 4 quotes that had a lot of detail 😭😭 can you also tell me how i can maintain a high quality answer whilst writing it in a short time as i don’t know how to finish my answers 💔💔💔💔

The writer describes Zoe’s feelings to be liberated and refreshing. This is demonstrates by the fact that there are moments in life that “come as clear” - this simile could suggest that she almost feels refreshed by being near the mountains as the adjective “clear” could have connotations of refreshment and not being disrupted by anything. Alternatively, the repetitive use of the letter “c” within the phrase “come as clear” underscores Zoe’s feelings of a moment in life that is almost surreal. This is because the letter “c” could be interpreted as having a pleasant sound to the reader. The reader may feel proud for Zoe as it seems as if she is being liberated by sighting the mountains
Furthermore, Zoe’s feelings of excitement are further highlighted through another simile which describes moments in life to be “as pure as ice”. The adjective “pure” connotes that this experience is almost mundane for her , and it allows the reader to understand that this is not a regular moment for her - and she’s seeing things from a lucid perspective , whilst also feeling excited. Additionally , the fact that the writer compares this moment to be “ice” could also emphasise the refreshment and perhaps an almost liberating feeling that Zoe has. Alternatively, a reader may interpret the noun “ice” to connote feelings of coldness which could elucidate that Zoe may also feel a bit frightened of this moment.

Additionally, Zoe’s feelings of liberation is explored through the use of personification along side declaratives. This is illustrated when the mountain “breathed back at her” , this could connote the idea that she feels almost encouraged by the air. Additionally the plosive alliteration of “b” ultimately reinforces the encourage that the air brings to Zoe as the idea of breathing could almost be a refreshing feeling .

The feelings of confidence could also be evoked by the writer , this is highlighted by the declarative “ I am an eagle”. The noun “eagle” could be associated with fierceness thus meaning that Zoe almost feels that she is able to dominate the mountain . The declarative could be perceived as a metaphor for Zoe’s feelings of strength.

Reply 1

kiragd

I would probably give your answer a good 7 marks.

You examine and analyse language (AO2) really well, like your connotations and finding relevant interpretations from them. You also use different language techniques which access you into higher marks, and so is your coherent paragraphs.

However, I believe you could analyse using 2-3 quotes rather than 4, allowing you to have enough time to deeply analyse them. You should briefly mention the writer’s intent to WHY he chose those techniques (e.g. “…to create empathy”).

I struggle with writing under time-conditions too, but I suggest writing out a brief plan on the side for 5 minutes.

Overall, prioritise quality over quantity and you’ll get full marks!

Reply 2

m_ezi

Original post

by kiragd

I would probably give your answer a good 7 marks.
You examine and analyse language (AO2) really well, like your connotations and finding relevant interpretations from them. You also use different language techniques which access you into higher marks, and so is your coherent paragraphs.
However, I believe you could analyse using 2-3 quotes rather than 4, allowing you to have enough time to deeply analyse them. You should briefly mention the writer’s intent to WHY he chose those techniques (e.g. “…to create empathy”).
I struggle with writing under time-conditions too, but I suggest writing out a brief plan on the side for 5 minutes.
Overall, prioritise quality over quantity and you’ll get full marks!

thank you !!

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