for anyone that's good at gcse english literature

I have written a comparative poetry essay (from love and relationships anthology) to the question "explore how both poems when we two parted and neutral tones explore feelings of loss" - can you please criticially mark my answer out of 30 and pleaseeee tell me how i can improve (i have gcses in less than a month and english literature is stressing me out )
Both poems “When we Two parted” and “Neutral Tones” explores themes of loss and heartbreak through a restrained tone. Whilst both explore the themes through a restrained tone, neutral tones focuses on the cold, dead nature of love, whilst When we two parted introduces a sense of betrayal and unresolved grief, which is heightened by feelings of secrecy and emotion.
To begin with , both poets use language techniques to convey their feelings of deep emotional pain. Hardy utilizes stark, lifeless language to convey the emotional distance in the relationship. He uses words such as “neutral” , “winter” , “grief” and starving which ultimately evoke a sense of emotional desolation. The choice of these words could also reflect the emotional detachment and bitterness that Hardy feels after the relationship’s breakdown , he almost feels as if there’s no hope for renewal and just an enduring emptiness. Hardy’s choice of words could also elucidate the idea that he associates this relationship with ideas of darkness , which could be influenced by how Hardy has several experiences of loss, and betrayal in his life. Similarly, Lord Byron also uses sorrowful language to describe the impact the break up has had on him. This is evidenced with words such as “silence”, “tears” , “cold” and “sorrow” , to highlight the speaker’s suffering. Lord Byron’s choice of such words emphasizes the depth of emotional pain and isolation that the speaker feels, as well as the coldness that exists between the former lovers, thus emphasising the distance between the two lovers. Lord Byron also employs repetition throughout this poem , through the use of words “parted” and “sorrow” , which could create a sense of perpetual separation and unhealed emotional wounds. The repetition could reflect the speaker’s inability to forget or move past the event, the word “sorrow” ties the speaker’s emotional state to a constant feeling of grief. The speaker almost feels stagnant in this situation – he cannot grieve from his lover and is able to escape from these melancholic feelings. The ideas of stagnancy is also significant in the poem Neutral tones, as Hardy also employs vivid natural imagery, particularly relating to winter and decay , to reflect the speaker’s emotional state. He utilizes phrases such as “sun was white , as though chidden of God” , which connotes ideas of bleakness of death. The winter imagery not only mirrors the harshness of the speaker’s feelings but could also be an emblem of the barrenness of the relationship, the imagery reinforces the idea of loss , winter is associated with coldness, lifelessness and endings. Furthermore, the fact that Hardy describes the sun to be “white” could further emphasise this idea , as sun is conventionally described to have a vibrant colour , the colour “white” has an almost neutral , yet dull tone, which could evoke the feelings of despair the speaker has towards their lover.
Both of the poems Neutral tones and When we Two parted display a restrained form and structure, which could reflect the emotional tightness that the speakers have. Neutral tones employs an ABBA rhyme scheme throughout the poem , and is does not change – conventionally this type of rhyme scheme is used to connote a harmonious relationship, but in this case it is used to create a sense of entrapment and cyclical pain. Additionally , the tight, controlled rhyme scheme could also reflect the restraint in the speaker’s emotions , there’s a sense of being trapped in an unending cycle of sadness as if the pain of the breakup will never fade. This is akin to Lord Byron , whilst his feelings are similar, he uses an ABABCDCD rhyme scheme throughout the poem , which may suggest that the speaker is stuck in an endless loop of grief and unable toe scape the pain. Furthermore, the consistent rhyme scheme in when we two parted , could also reinforce the idea that the speaker is trapped in the past, and is unable to break free from the emotions tied to the separation. The idea that the speaker is unable to break free from the emotions tied to separation is also emphasised by the cyclical structure in the poem , Lord Byron begins and ends with poems with the phrase “silence and tears” , this could evoke the idea that he is unable to forget this event, and he can only associate the relationship with melancholic feelings. Similarly Neutral stones employs a cyclical structure, starting and ending the poem with being near a “pond” , which could suggest that this memory that the speaker has with his lover is unforgettable. Additionally, the melancholic feelings of love in Neutral tones can be reflected in the form of the poem; the poem consists of 4 stanzas of the same length, whilst being short. This also reinforces the idea that the speaker’s feelings towards his lover is almost encapsulating , as he is unable to restrain himself from these memories. Also, the fact that the poem only consists of 4 lines which could be considered short for each stanza could connote the idea that the speaker almost feels as if the lover does not have much meaning to him , as he only has little to say about them, Hardy may have been influenced by his constant past experiences of betrayal and loss, to use this entrapping form for Neutral tones. Similarly, ‘When we two Parted’ also has a restrictive form to reflect the speaker’s feelings of numbness and despair towards his lover. Lord Byron’s poem consists of 4 stanzas of the same length , which could reflect the speaker’s feelings are almost unable to be resolved.

27/30

wow!! thank you xx do you have specific feedback on what it could improve on

I have written a comparative poetry essay (from love and relationships anthology) to the question "explore how both poems when we two parted and neutral tones explore feelings of loss" - can you please criticially mark my answer out of 30 and pleaseeee tell me how i can improve (i have gcses in less than a month and english literature is stressing me out )
Both poems “When we Two parted” and “Neutral Tones” explores themes of loss and heartbreak through a restrained tone. Whilst both explore the themes through a restrained tone, neutral tones focuses on the cold, dead nature of love, whilst When we two parted introduces a sense of betrayal and unresolved grief, which is heightened by feelings of secrecy and emotion.
To begin with , both poets use language techniques to convey their feelings of deep emotional pain. Hardy utilizes stark, lifeless language to convey the emotional distance in the relationship. He uses words such as “neutral” , “winter” , “grief” and starving which ultimately evoke a sense of emotional desolation. The choice of these words could also reflect the emotional detachment and bitterness that Hardy feels after the relationship’s breakdown , he almost feels as if there’s no hope for renewal and just an enduring emptiness. Hardy’s choice of words could also elucidate the idea that he associates this relationship with ideas of darkness , which could be influenced by how Hardy has several experiences of loss, and betrayal in his life. Similarly, Lord Byron also uses sorrowful language to describe the impact the break up has had on him. This is evidenced with words such as “silence”, “tears” , “cold” and “sorrow” , to highlight the speaker’s suffering. Lord Byron’s choice of such words emphasizes the depth of emotional pain and isolation that the speaker feels, as well as the coldness that exists between the former lovers, thus emphasising the distance between the two lovers. Lord Byron also employs repetition throughout this poem , through the use of words “parted” and “sorrow” , which could create a sense of perpetual separation and unhealed emotional wounds. The repetition could reflect the speaker’s inability to forget or move past the event, the word “sorrow” ties the speaker’s emotional state to a constant feeling of grief. The speaker almost feels stagnant in this situation – he cannot grieve from his lover and is able to escape from these melancholic feelings. The ideas of stagnancy is also significant in the poem Neutral tones, as Hardy also employs vivid natural imagery, particularly relating to winter and decay , to reflect the speaker’s emotional state. He utilizes phrases such as “sun was white , as though chidden of God” , which connotes ideas of bleakness of death. The winter imagery not only mirrors the harshness of the speaker’s feelings but could also be an emblem of the barrenness of the relationship, the imagery reinforces the idea of loss , winter is associated with coldness, lifelessness and endings. Furthermore, the fact that Hardy describes the sun to be “white” could further emphasise this idea , as sun is conventionally described to have a vibrant colour , the colour “white” has an almost neutral , yet dull tone, which could evoke the feelings of despair the speaker has towards their lover.
Both of the poems Neutral tones and When we Two parted display a restrained form and structure, which could reflect the emotional tightness that the speakers have. Neutral tones employs an ABBA rhyme scheme throughout the poem , and is does not change – conventionally this type of rhyme scheme is used to connote a harmonious relationship, but in this case it is used to create a sense of entrapment and cyclical pain. Additionally , the tight, controlled rhyme scheme could also reflect the restraint in the speaker’s emotions , there’s a sense of being trapped in an unending cycle of sadness as if the pain of the breakup will never fade. This is akin to Lord Byron , whilst his feelings are similar, he uses an ABABCDCD rhyme scheme throughout the poem , which may suggest that the speaker is stuck in an endless loop of grief and unable toe scape the pain. Furthermore, the consistent rhyme scheme in when we two parted , could also reinforce the idea that the speaker is trapped in the past, and is unable to break free from the emotions tied to the separation. The idea that the speaker is unable to break free from the emotions tied to separation is also emphasised by the cyclical structure in the poem , Lord Byron begins and ends with poems with the phrase “silence and tears” , this could evoke the idea that he is unable to forget this event, and he can only associate the relationship with melancholic feelings. Similarly Neutral stones employs a cyclical structure, starting and ending the poem with being near a “pond” , which could suggest that this memory that the speaker has with his lover is unforgettable. Additionally, the melancholic feelings of love in Neutral tones can be reflected in the form of the poem; the poem consists of 4 stanzas of the same length, whilst being short. This also reinforces the idea that the speaker’s feelings towards his lover is almost encapsulating , as he is unable to restrain himself from these memories. Also, the fact that the poem only consists of 4 lines which could be considered short for each stanza could connote the idea that the speaker almost feels as if the lover does not have much meaning to him , as he only has little to say about them, Hardy may have been influenced by his constant past experiences of betrayal and loss, to use this entrapping form for Neutral tones. Similarly, ‘When we two Parted’ also has a restrictive form to reflect the speaker’s feelings of numbness and despair towards his lover. Lord Byron’s poem consists of 4 stanzas of the same length , which could reflect the speaker’s feelings are almost unable to be resolved.

27/30