AMA: On a gap year, just firmed Bath Physics, it took me 3 years to get here.

Major long time no see, TSR! One or two people might remember my dead blogs on here from last year and the year before. I wasn't really planning to return, but I felt I'd give it one last hurrah now that my saga is now finally over.

Today I firmed an unconditional offer from the University of Bath to study an integrated master's in physics. Below is my stats, the story of how I got here, and some questions I get often in real life and online. I'd love to answer any questions people have about my journey or anything along it.

STATS:

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GCSEs: 99999986, 6 is in 3D Design before anyone asks :wink:

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A-levels: AAA in OCR A Chemistry, OCR A Physics, and Edexcel Mathematics.

CHOICES:

University of Bath - unconditional offer, firm choice.

Lancaster University - unconditional offer, declined.

University of Edinburgh - unconditional offer, declined. This was my second choice and I would've gone there if Bath had rejected me.

University of Oxford - Rejected. My mother forced me to apply despite literally not even meeting the minimum requirements, it was just a waste of a space. I did it to not get my ass beat (verbally) because I didn't really have any other choices I was super keen on anyways.

University of Sheffield - unconditional offer, but then they cancelled my course so I swapped the choice for Warwick as it was still just before the deadline.

University of Warwick - secret 6th choice, withdrawn as I don't want to go there anyways and I couldn't be bothered waiting any longer for them considering Bath's accommodation applications open in May.

THE STORY:
As some will know, I'm on a gap year. Last application cycle, I applied for and got a few offers for Computer Science. However, the closer it got to exams the more I realised I didn't actually really want that and I was sort of dreading going to uni. Unfortunately for me I realised this far too late to simply change courses with my uni choices, and it wouldn't have mattered much anyways as I decided to change all of my uni choices too.

After several months of sitting on it and procrastinating doing anything about it by revising for the near-endless mocks (that never got marked anyways), I called over my physics teacher one lesson when we were revising independently and asked the question that changed everything: Can you tell me about a degree in physics? I went to my other subject teachers later on and asked the same question, as well as some subjects adjacent to my combination (e.g. I went to the engineering teacher too), but nothing sounded as appealing as physics.

Also it turned out the thing I want to do is easier to get into with a physics degree than a computer science one anyways, so that's convenient.

When I told my mother she was obviously very ****ed at me for ruining my life and prospects, but parents am I right? Promptly ignored her because what the **** else was I meant to do anyways, just be miserable for 4 years? Again, it was too late to do anything that year, and I couldn't use clearing due to not being guaranteed disability accommodations in time for the course to start.

On results day I was again pressured by everyone to go into clearing. I was too busy speedwalking out of the building crying because I didn't get the results I wanted to actually care about what any of them were saying anyways, and either way, the fact that I am disabled and need accommodations that cannot be guaranteed through clearing had not magically changed over the summer waiting for results. How selfish of my body, am I right?

Here's where we enter full circle mode.

When I was in year 12 and first thinking about uni, basically all of the teachers who knew me were all like yeah I think you'd love Bath, it's a really nice place, etc. I had never been, but I did like how it looked and all the history behind it. Did this cause me to listen to them? No, obviously. I'm not actually sure why, as I did have the predicted grades to apply and most of my uni choices for comp sci were unenthusiastic to say the least. My old physics teacher (and even my head of year, who was a biology teacher) both also said that they thought I'd really enjoy a physics degree. Didn't listen to that either, because of course not.

1.5 years later, guess what I'm doing and where I'm going to do it! Most of the teachers who told me the above no longer work at my sixth form and I don't know where they've gone to, so unfortunately can't email them to say they were right all along, but I hope that maybe they just know somehow.

A few weeks ago I finally went to Bath for the first time. The physics department had very kindly arranged a private campus tour for me with a current student, even giving us a parking permit so we could park on campus (after about 15 minutes of driving in circles looking for the right car park, anyways). It was actually a lot nicer than I thought it would be from the photos, and the city itself was amazing as well. Since then I've also had a few meetings with people from student support and uni accommodation, and every interaction I've had with the uni up until this point (in person, email, and phone) has been extremely positive with prompt replies, which absolutely cannot be said for quite frankly every other uni I've interacted with (and considering I've applied twice, that's about 10-12 unis now).

And now I'm here today deciding I can't be bothered to wait for Warwick any longer for the sake of funny numbers and finally making it official.

FAQs, based on questions I get a lot in real life and in other online spaces - other questions welcome!
Would I do a gap year if I went back in time, made the right choices the first time around and had the option not to do one?
No. While I definitely think it's helped me mature and learn some more life skills that I was severely lacking before, it's been an incredibly stressful year of near-constant conflict with family because of my choices, the stress of trying and failing to find a job because my town is dead, and spiralling due to self-doubt. I'm not one of those healthy people from rich families that can say they used their gap year to go travelling or other fun stuff like that. The truth is that most of my gap year has been spent sitting at home stressing over some combination of money, work, future, current events and responsibilities.
Negative things aside, things that I am happy with: learning life skills, doing volunteering for a local heritage organisation, discovering my love for horses and having the opportunity to care for them, and being able to learn more physics alongside studying French as of recently.

Do I still feel like I "failed" my A-levels?
Kind of. I just don't think that's something I will ever get over, really. While the results ultimately got me where I needed to be, even if I didn't know it at the time, I am still not happy with knowing that I could and should have done better. Obviously reality isn't that simple: I was violently ill for the entire exam season, I was also completely deaf and extremely disoriented and uncomfortable due to a severe wax blockage in my ears, and I could swear that for the last 4 months leading up to the exam the entire school leadership imploded into spontaneous dictatorship on purpose just to make it harder to revise in any meaningful way (banning revision websites on the network, taking away the sixth form laptops, refusing to give out textbooks, etc). But knowing I could've done better will always be a mark of failure for me, and I'm just going to have to live with that. Maybe after I have my degree I won't think about it so much.

Advice for people thinking of doing a gap year?
If you're choosing to do one, do it because you have something you want to accomplish in that year, and plan out how to do that. I've kind of started doing it in the second half of the gap year, and things have gotten a bit better. Don't do it because you're pressured into it, but also don't be pressured into not doing one if you think it would benefit you. I got so much hate from teachers telling me I'll be a failure and live in a basement forever if I do a gap year, despite the fact I literally did not have a choice in the matter so it's not something I could've done anything about anyways.

Are you still friends with anyone from sixth form?
No lol. They were all awful. I'm in contact with one, but it's not really close friendship.

Where were you when you got the Bath offer?
At the gym, and had just finished a session with my PT. Went on my phone to check for notifications, and there it was: an email from the University of Bath titled "Congratulations on your offer". I may or may not have locked myself in one of the toilets and screamed before calling literally everyone about it.