Feel like I'm a fool

Every time I go to a family gathering, I end up feeling like I’ve somehow made a fool out of myself. Whether it's during conversations or just how I act in general, I start overthinking everything the event.

I find myself replaying moments in my head, wondering if I said something awkward or if people were silently judging me. It turns into this spiral of self-criticism and embarrassment, even when nothing major really happened. It’s exhausting, and I’m tired of beating myself up over what might just be normal social interaction.

I’m constantly overthinking and criticizing myself—how I speak, how I behave. For example, I recently started worrying about whether I embarrassed my brother in front of his girlfriend.

I also feel really alone most of the time. I’m kind of a loner, so when I finally do end up in social settings, I get overwhelmed and end up saying too much—usually unnecessary or random things that I later regret.

Any advice?

Reply 1

Coventry University Student Ambassadors

Official Rep

Hello there!

You're not a fool for feeling this way! what you’re experiencing is actually very common, especially for people who are more introverted or who spend a lot of time alone. When you’re not used to being in social settings often, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and end up overanalysing everything you said or did. Replaying conversations in your head, worrying you talked too much or said something awkward, is something many people do, even if, in reality, those moments were completely normal.

It sounds like you’re holding yourself to incredibly high standards during social interactions, which can lead to a lot of self-criticism. But the truth is, most people are focused on themselves in social situations, they are not analysing your every move the way you think they are. What feels like a big deal to you probably passed unnoticed by everyone else.

You care about how you come across. That shows kindness and self-awareness and not foolishness. Social confidence is a skill, and as any skill, it gets stronger with time and practice.
Saying “too much” or feeling like you overshared doesn’t mean you failed, it just means you were trying to connect.

If you're often feeling alone and tend to overthink after social events, it might help to remind yourself that you are doing your best in situations that don’t always feel natural or easy. Be kind to yourself, reflect without judgment, and try to see the courage it takes to show up, even when it's hard.

You're not alone in this, and you are doing better than you think.

I hope this helps!
All the best!

Kind regards,
Reka - Coventry University Student Ambassador

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Thanks so much Reka, this has helped a lot

Reply 3

J2002

Remember, people are usually way more focused on themselves than on critiquing you. When you feel like you’ve said something awkward, try to let it go quickly, most of the time, no one else even notices.

If it really bothers you, you can always address it casually later. Just take a breath and focus on enjoying the moment