Girls help!

Hey all. I'm in y11 and abt to sit my exams (21 days panic!) and have spent the majority of my school life single which has left me with a little self confidence. I don't know why I struggle so hard to find people who like me, its made me feel like I'm ugly and unlovable. Most of my friends are girls and I'm always the 'responsible, smart one' in the group.
If it helps I'm happy to send a photo but please be gentle
Thank you

Reply 1

meenu89

19

Original post by Anonymous

Hey all. I'm in y11 and abt to sit my exams (21 days panic!) and have spent the majority of my school life single which has left me with a little self confidence. I don't know why I struggle so hard to find people who like me, its made me feel like I'm ugly and unlovable. Most of my friends are girls and I'm always the 'responsible, smart one' in the group.
If it helps I'm happy to send a photo but please be gentle
Thank you

I don't want to see your photo but I would concentrate on your Exams for the moment and don't worry too much about being single

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

Hey all. I'm in y11 and abt to sit my exams (21 days panic!) and have spent the majority of my school life single which has left me with a little self confidence. I don't know why I struggle so hard to find people who like me, its made me feel like I'm ugly and unlovable. Most of my friends are girls and I'm always the 'responsible, smart one' in the group.
If it helps I'm happy to send a photo but please be gentle
Thank you

Hey,
I'm currently in year 13 who went through a similar thing so I might be of some help to you.

The priority for you now should be getting through your exams (good luck with those btw!)

Here's the main piece of advice I can offer you. Boys still in secondary school are extremely immature, and most of them tend to go for girls who they see as 'easier' and give them attention or maybe less serious about school (ik that sounds horrible but that's how it is)
The most important thing is that you maintain your self-respect - don't lower your standards and self-worth for some guy.
When I was in secondary I was never approached by guys - for some people it just happens earlier.
Eventually, they mature and become more serious, and start to appreciate personality and values more than simply just looks.
Another thing - be confident! When it comes to college/sixth form and you're starting with new people, put yourself out there! Confidence, but not cockiness, is attractive.

The main thing is that what you're feeling now isn't unusual, so don't stress about it! :smile:

Reply 3

Anonymous #3

Original post by Anonymous

Hey all. I'm in y11 and abt to sit my exams (21 days panic!) and have spent the majority of my school life single which has left me with a little self confidence. I don't know why I struggle so hard to find people who like me, its made me feel like I'm ugly and unlovable. Most of my friends are girls and I'm always the 'responsible, smart one' in the group.
If it helps I'm happy to send a photo but please be gentle
Thank you

I feel for you on this! But yeah, you should focus on your exams and if your confidence is low then try a little self care and you time. Hang out with some friends, have a long bath etc. I think it's incredibly normal to be single throughout all of secondary school, the majority of my friend group has been and we couldn't be happier. Don't attribute your self worth to your love life because there is so much else to focus on. Best of luck for your exams, teenage boys especially aren't everything. To be honest I think you've dodged a bullet. Hope this helps! xx

Reply 4

Lbland23

11

Original post by Anonymous

I feel for you on this! But yeah, you should focus on your exams and if your confidence is low then try a little self care and you time. Hang out with some friends, have a long bath etc. I think it's incredibly normal to be single throughout all of secondary school, the majority of my friend group has been and we couldn't be happier. Don't attribute your self worth to your love life because there is so much else to focus on. Best of luck for your exams, teenage boys especially aren't everything. To be honest I think you've dodged a bullet. Hope this helps! xx

Hey thanks this helps so much. I think the struggle is I don't have any friends either. Incase it isn't clear I'm a guy (noone worry even teachers include me in 'girls' 🤣)

Reply 5

Anonymous #3

Original post by Lbland23

Hey thanks this helps so much. I think the struggle is I don't have any friends either. Incase it isn't clear I'm a guy (noone worry even teachers include me in 'girls' 🤣)

Ohh so sorry to misgender you, haha. To be fair I think when everyone is going through puberty, it's safe to avoid relationships as a lot of miscommunications occur and everything will be awkward and confusing. It's not a fun point in life. I think someone else already said this but by sixth form, everyone has ironed themselves out a bit and we all are all more ready for a relationship. Don't put any pressure on yourself but enjoy the last days of secondary school and revise enough for your exams! Again, good luck!! I hope that you do get into a great relationship in sixth form it sounds like you deserve it. But confidence goes a long way and as long as you believe in yourself and be yourself it'll be fine. Super corny but it does work and you'll find people who are drawn to you.

Reply 6

solid_studying

3

Original post by Anonymous

Hey all. I'm in y11 and abt to sit my exams (21 days panic!) and have spent the majority of my school life single which has left me with a little self confidence. I don't know why I struggle so hard to find people who like me, its made me feel like I'm ugly and unlovable. Most of my friends are girls and I'm always the 'responsible, smart one' in the group.
If it helps I'm happy to send a photo but please be gentle
Thank you

Hey Kiddo, it might sound tight but it's really not that deep. Now, I know that's harsh so let me elaborate, your "status" in life is really not that important in the long run. You can go on to do amazing things - whilst single. You can be your happiest ever - without being in a relationship. And I know that given that you're in Year 11 you'll be more than fed up of adults and older teens acting like you're a kid that doesn't know anything about life but, they're not wrong at the end of the day. You're young. Realistically, I'm older than you and I STILL know nothing. Relationships don't mean much at your age either. When you're older you'll look back at all your relationships from your teens and think one of two things:

a) aww they were such a good partner I miss the innocence of young relationships...
b) ew. what. was. that...

But, at the end of the day, it's YOUR life. Live it how you want to.

Girls help!

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