Girls help!

Hey all. I'm in y11 and abt to sit my exams (21 days panic!) and have spent the majority of my school life single which has left me with a little self confidence. I don't know why I struggle so hard to find people who like me, its made me feel like I'm ugly and unlovable. Most of my friends are girls and I'm always the 'responsible, smart one' in the group.
If it helps I'm happy to send a photo but please be gentle
Thank you

Reply 1

meenu89

19

Original post

by Anonymous

Hey all. I'm in y11 and abt to sit my exams (21 days panic!) and have spent the majority of my school life single which has left me with a little self confidence. I don't know why I struggle so hard to find people who like me, its made me feel like I'm ugly and unlovable. Most of my friends are girls and I'm always the 'responsible, smart one' in the group.
If it helps I'm happy to send a photo but please be gentle
Thank you

I don't want to see your photo but I would concentrate on your Exams for the moment and don't worry too much about being single

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

Original post

by Anonymous

Hey all. I'm in y11 and abt to sit my exams (21 days panic!) and have spent the majority of my school life single which has left me with a little self confidence. I don't know why I struggle so hard to find people who like me, its made me feel like I'm ugly and unlovable. Most of my friends are girls and I'm always the 'responsible, smart one' in the group.
If it helps I'm happy to send a photo but please be gentle
Thank you

Hey,
I'm currently in year 13 who went through a similar thing so I might be of some help to you.

The priority for you now should be getting through your exams (good luck with those btw!)

Here's the main piece of advice I can offer you. Boys still in secondary school are extremely immature, and most of them tend to go for girls who they see as 'easier' and give them attention or maybe less serious about school (ik that sounds horrible but that's how it is)
The most important thing is that you maintain your self-respect - don't lower your standards and self-worth for some guy.
When I was in secondary I was never approached by guys - for some people it just happens earlier.
Eventually, they mature and become more serious, and start to appreciate personality and values more than simply just looks.
Another thing - be confident! When it comes to college/sixth form and you're starting with new people, put yourself out there! Confidence, but not cockiness, is attractive.

The main thing is that what you're feeling now isn't unusual, so don't stress about it! :smile:

Reply 3

Anonymous #3

Original post

by Anonymous

Hey all. I'm in y11 and abt to sit my exams (21 days panic!) and have spent the majority of my school life single which has left me with a little self confidence. I don't know why I struggle so hard to find people who like me, its made me feel like I'm ugly and unlovable. Most of my friends are girls and I'm always the 'responsible, smart one' in the group.
If it helps I'm happy to send a photo but please be gentle
Thank you

I feel for you on this! But yeah, you should focus on your exams and if your confidence is low then try a little self care and you time. Hang out with some friends, have a long bath etc. I think it's incredibly normal to be single throughout all of secondary school, the majority of my friend group has been and we couldn't be happier. Don't attribute your self worth to your love life because there is so much else to focus on. Best of luck for your exams, teenage boys especially aren't everything. To be honest I think you've dodged a bullet. Hope this helps! xx

Reply 4

Lbland23

13

Original post

by Anonymous

I feel for you on this! But yeah, you should focus on your exams and if your confidence is low then try a little self care and you time. Hang out with some friends, have a long bath etc. I think it's incredibly normal to be single throughout all of secondary school, the majority of my friend group has been and we couldn't be happier. Don't attribute your self worth to your love life because there is so much else to focus on. Best of luck for your exams, teenage boys especially aren't everything. To be honest I think you've dodged a bullet. Hope this helps! xx

Hey thanks this helps so much. I think the struggle is I don't have any friends either. Incase it isn't clear I'm a guy (noone worry even teachers include me in 'girls' 🤣)

Reply 5

Anonymous #3

Original post

by Lbland23

Hey thanks this helps so much. I think the struggle is I don't have any friends either. Incase it isn't clear I'm a guy (noone worry even teachers include me in 'girls' 🤣)

Ohh so sorry to misgender you, haha. To be fair I think when everyone is going through puberty, it's safe to avoid relationships as a lot of miscommunications occur and everything will be awkward and confusing. It's not a fun point in life. I think someone else already said this but by sixth form, everyone has ironed themselves out a bit and we all are all more ready for a relationship. Don't put any pressure on yourself but enjoy the last days of secondary school and revise enough for your exams! Again, good luck!! I hope that you do get into a great relationship in sixth form it sounds like you deserve it. But confidence goes a long way and as long as you believe in yourself and be yourself it'll be fine. Super corny but it does work and you'll find people who are drawn to you.

Reply 6

solid_studying

3

Original post

by Anonymous

Hey all. I'm in y11 and abt to sit my exams (21 days panic!) and have spent the majority of my school life single which has left me with a little self confidence. I don't know why I struggle so hard to find people who like me, its made me feel like I'm ugly and unlovable. Most of my friends are girls and I'm always the 'responsible, smart one' in the group.
If it helps I'm happy to send a photo but please be gentle
Thank you

Hey Kiddo, it might sound tight but it's really not that deep. Now, I know that's harsh so let me elaborate, your "status" in life is really not that important in the long run. You can go on to do amazing things - whilst single. You can be your happiest ever - without being in a relationship. And I know that given that you're in Year 11 you'll be more than fed up of adults and older teens acting like you're a kid that doesn't know anything about life but, they're not wrong at the end of the day. You're young. Realistically, I'm older than you and I STILL know nothing. Relationships don't mean much at your age either. When you're older you'll look back at all your relationships from your teens and think one of two things:

a) aww they were such a good partner I miss the innocence of young relationships...
b) ew. what. was. that...

But, at the end of the day, it's YOUR life. Live it how you want to.

Reply 7

Anonymous #4

Original post

by Anonymous

Hey all. I'm in y11 and abt to sit my exams (21 days panic!) and have spent the majority of my school life single which has left me with a little self confidence. I don't know why I struggle so hard to find people who like me, its made me feel like I'm ugly and unlovable. Most of my friends are girls and I'm always the 'responsible, smart one' in the group.
If it helps I'm happy to send a photo but please be gentle
Thank you

Do not worry! From my personal experience I have dated probably one person in my entire school life at secondary and I can assure you it does not matter! I feel as though everyone hypes it up but it really does not matter. You are not ugly or unlovable and the best thing you can do for yourself right now is to just focus on yourself.
Find a hobby you enjoy, take care of your health, spend time with the people you love, learn new experiences the opportunities are endless.
I know it is a very cliche thing to say but as you are trying out all these new things and living your life a relationship may enter your life when you least expect it to!
But please do not wait for it. There is more to life than a relationship and it is not worth waiting over.
Don't waste your time chasing butterflies. Mend your garden, and the butterflies will come

Reply 8

Dnnatnt

6

If you're ugly you can't get girls, that's the truth. Personality doesn't matter, as you said you're a good and nice person but girls just friendzone you and they're not interested in anything more. Accept it and forget about dating, it may be hard to accept at the beginning but better than delusions. And no point asking girls, do you expect them to answer "yes we're shallow and looks are everything"?

Reply 9

Dnnatnt

6

Original post

by Anonymous

Do not worry! From my personal experience I have dated probably one person in my entire school life at secondary and I can assure you it does not matter! I feel as though everyone hypes it up but it really does not matter. You are not ugly or unlovable and the best thing you can do for yourself right now is to just focus on yourself.
Find a hobby you enjoy, take care of your health, spend time with the people you love, learn new experiences the opportunities are endless.
I know it is a very cliche thing to say but as you are trying out all these new things and living your life a relationship may enter your life when you least expect it to!
But please do not wait for it. There is more to life than a relationship and it is not worth waiting over.
Don't waste your time chasing butterflies. Mend your garden, and the butterflies will come

Lol that's hilarious, he's clearly very interested in romantic and sexual relationships and you say "it doesn't matter, there is more to life". If he didn't care he wouldn't have posted it. And if romantic and sexual relationships didn't matter to people, this forum wouldn't exist. The relationships forum is the one with most viewers for a reason. Love and sex are the best thing in life, people learn to be without them only if they can't have romantic relationships, like this poster

Reply 10

Anonymous #4

Original post

by Dnnatnt

Lol that's hilarious, he's clearly very interested in romantic and sexual relationships and you say "it doesn't matter, there is more to life". If he didn't care he wouldn't have posted it. And if romantic and sexual relationships didn't matter to people, this forum wouldn't exist. The relationships forum is the one with most viewers for a reason. Love and sex are the best thing in life, people learn to be without them only if they can't have romantic relationships, like this poster

What I meant is that it does not matter you are still young and you should not rush into getting into a relationship. I’m encouraging the poster to work on their personal qualities so their future relationships actually end up successful.
how are you going to be in a healthy long lasting relationship with a good woman if you yourself are not a good man with good qualities.

Reply 11

Anonymous #4

Then why’s your only piece of advice to just ‘accept it and forget about dating’. You clearly mention how interested the poster is in relationships so why not give the guy some actual words of encouragement instead of being so negative? That’s what’s hilarious lol.

Reply 12

Lbland23

13

Hey I don't know if anyones interested in an update but here it is. Got my exam results 8s and 7s thank you to those who gave genuine advice and support. Just finished my first day of college and have started to make a few friends (no idea if it'll last). Feel like I'm ready to rethink dating although I'm trying to keep the pressure off myself and just enjoy it. If anyone's got advice or a similar experience let me know

Reply 13

Dnnatnt

6

Original post

by Lbland23

Hey I don't know if anyones interested in an update but here it is. Got my exam results 8s and 7s thank you to those who gave genuine advice and support. Just finished my first day of college and have started to make a few friends (no idea if it'll last). Feel like I'm ready to rethink dating although I'm trying to keep the pressure off myself and just enjoy it. If anyone's got advice or a similar experience let me know

And what does that have to do with dating? Girls don't care about your 8s or 7s lol. If you used that time at the gym improving your looks instead of sitting studying boring things then that could improve your dating life as looks are the most important thing

(edited 5 months ago)

Reply 14

Dnnatnt

6

Original post

by Anonymous

What I meant is that it does not matter you are still young and you should not rush into getting into a relationship. I’m encouraging the poster to work on their personal qualities so their future relationships actually end up successful.
how are you going to be in a healthy long lasting relationship with a good woman if you yourself are not a good man with good qualities.

That's ridiculous, when you're young you should be at your prime in looks. If you can't attract and have girls now that you're young at your prime, when will you get girls? When you're old? Lol

Reply 15

Anonymous #4

Original post

by Dnnatnt

That's ridiculous, when you're young you should be at your prime in looks. If you can't attract and have girls now that you're young at your prime, when will you get girls? When you're old? Lol

You know you can still be young and work on yourself right? Self improvement and self care isn’t something that just ends when you’re old

Reply 16

Anonymous #4

Original post

by Lbland23

Hey I don't know if anyones interested in an update but here it is. Got my exam results 8s and 7s thank you to those who gave genuine advice and support. Just finished my first day of college and have started to make a few friends (no idea if it'll last). Feel like I'm ready to rethink dating although I'm trying to keep the pressure off myself and just enjoy it. If anyone's got advice or a similar experience let me know

I’m so happy for you! And congratulations on your results

Reply 17

Lbland23

13

Original post

by Anonymous

I’m so happy for you! And congratulations on your results

Thank you!

Reply 18

Dnnatnt

6

Original post

by Anonymous

You know you can still be young and work on yourself right? Self improvement and self care isn’t something that just ends when you’re old

This thread is about dating not a generic "self improvement" that has no relation with dating. And no, you can't get girls when you're old lol

Reply 19

Dnnatnt

6

Original post

by Anonymous

I’m so happy for you! And congratulations on your results

Let's forget girls then lol

Girls help!

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